What Else

I once read somewhere that you can be alone but not lonely.

And you can be in a crowd and still feel lonely.

Today I just realised something new.

Solitude is peace but sometimes it can be deafening too.

With all those voices in your head debating.

Once things screw up, cannot be unscrewed.

What is said, cannot be recovered.

What is done, cannot be undone.

I think I am feeling this way probably because I had too much caffeine, not enough sleep yesterday, more reading stuff to tackle plus the defeaning solitude makes me A Pessismistically Angry Self Centred Philosopher......

Weekends Gone

I am going nuts.

Coping at home to do my work, my body is flooded with caffeine, my sleeps are filled with dreams for 3 days, my back is aching with pain for sitting too long and my brain is tired from all the thinking...

As an extrovert, I need external stimuli which will boost my mood, too much solitude can make me bored (Btw being bored means the "existential condition of meaninglessness), no, go crazy.

Thinking that surfing Facebook is as good as keeping me connect with the outside world is naive.

My weekends are just gone like that again......

I Think...

I think I am old...

I feel tired...

I have so many things to read...

I have so many things to write...

I have so many thoughts...

I have so many things to think... Many more to figure out...

School... Work... Relationships... Money... Friends...

I just want to stop moving... Time stay still... Sun don't rise... Or don't set...

... I think ... I think... And I think... I think I need to sleep......

Meaningless Rantings & Marketing Terms

Have you ever had the feeling of not knowing what to do with yourself? Suddenly realising that you have a conscious and you are alive, you thought "what am I doing here?". Leading an existence makes you wonder how you are going to 'spend' your life. Sounds very commodity and utility like how you are going to spend your money and how you are going to make your coffee -Cappucino, Kopi O or Expresso. And if you still don't know what I am talking about, ignorance is bliss or is it...

The following is totally unrelated to the first paragraph...

Marketing, Advertising, Sales and Public Relations are all under the same family. As much as the professionals tell you they are different, they have one ultimate aim - Make money. Thats all. Some say advertising is sales in disguise, some say marketing is sales, what about branding and public relations? It's also sales, how? Branding is to create good impression so that you will prefer to buy 'me' versus other products. Public Relations? It's to get free publicity so that you don't have to pay for it compare to advertising.

Before I write more and this becomes a textbook, let me introduce you to terms we usually use to describe our work and achievements,

1. You do a marketing activity (ie.promotion) and you realise no money was made or lost, you called it a Defensive Strategy.

2. Before you do a marketing activity (ie.promotion) with a partner and you know you are likely to lose money, you called it a Strategic Relationship.

3. You a do a marketing activity and you increase revenue but lose profit, you called it Market Penetration or Market Growth.

4. You realised you have put money to endorse or sponsor something and it is a waste of money and time, you called it Branding.

Most importantly always emphasize that marketing doesn't make money or marketing effects can only be seen in the long term and not immediate. This should buy you some time...

And So It Was Like That

I think that life's greatest joy is to not do anything at all... Idling away is an ideal situation in an ideal world. I have many stories to tell yet sometimes I am either lazy to write or don't know can write or not...

Have been quite depress lately, not sure if it's my persistent cough that is bothering me, my backache that is bothering me, not enough sleep is bothering me or the huge amount of gas in my tummy that is bothering me... In anyway, I am not in tip top condition, I think being super healthy is important.

Mr Tomato ask me to join him for a trip in the Philipines. He will be staying at a guest house with someone he knows. Told me it is an idle place, the pace is slow and the place relax. Sounds like a good proposition and the kind of place to retire in...

He will be flying on the 30th Jan. Not sure can apply leave on time and also got work to do. Contemplating...

Last Friday, I had bak chor mee again with Mr Tomato at Circular Road (near Boat Quay). I usually crave for it when I go drinking around that area. However, purposely made a trip there for 2 times this month just to eat that.

I know the content of the article is as ambiguous as the title and so it was like that......

Maybe...

You know when you reach the age of 46, you start to wonder what you are doing with your life. You start to question your thinking, your actions, your ambitions and your life style etc. Your mind is full of questions but you do not have the answers.

No I am not 46 and I am starting to think like that at 26. Sounds like I got a mid-life crisis pretty early when I am hardly in the middle of my life. Sometimes I think and I wonder how I should I go about life. To take it easy or to take it seriously, what is the true meaning of life? I think if I continue to ponder and wonder, I will attend nirvana soon...

Sometimes I have this feeling of giving up everything and leave for the mountains, growing my own crops below the hills. Harvest the crops when the season comes (ok I don't exactly know which season). Hibernate when winter comes. (which means sleep and sleep and sleep). Eat when you are hungry, sleep when you are tired, play when you are bored. Isn't it wonderful...

Maybe I should be a philosopher, think out some quacky philosphy, spread my teachings and collect donations for being so wise and give lectures when the crowd comes to me... Or maybe an artist, sitting by the river, drawing anything beautiful that I come across including beautiful women and sell my paintings for whatever price it is worth... Or a bartender that mixed all these wonderful drinks, tossing and turning and doing all those stunts, give advice to drunk people and tell stories to whoever wants to listen...

Maybe I should just slack at home, be a loafer, go to coffee shop and hang out whole day there with a beer in hand or with a cup of coffee on the table. Maybe just lie on my bed the whole lazy afternoon and imagine what wonderful things could happen and it does not happen because I am not doing anything. Maybe its a wonderful feeling to just imagine, to just think and just let time pass... And maybe this is the best way... and maybe I am just tired......

Sleepless In Singapore

I have gone 30 hours without sleep...

Of course it cannot compare with the immortals of the Subaru Challenge, where contestants go more than 80 hours without sleep to win a car. I am only a mortal, so not going without sleep for more than 10 hours is wrong... totally wrong...

I know you think that I love to sleep, it's true and that's because I don't really sleep when I sleep. That's because everytime I sleep, I dream a lot and it feels like watching a movie, very drama and meaningless. It's just like drama serial except you don't understand it.

Correction, my dreams should be consider movies because everytime I woke up from a dream and sleep back again, I dream of something different...

Imagine after a hard day at work, you go home and watch TV. After watching TV, you go back to work again. That is how I feel...

And it's no secret that Sunday is my favourite day of the week because I get to sleep the whole day. To make up for the sleep that I have lost for the week...