We all know men are constantly thinking of how to ask a woman out. It is such an agony to think of the perfect way to ask her out and a daunting challenge to make her say “yes”.
Lots of thinking goes into crafting the right message strategy (what – a direct question, give a good excuse, tell a great story etc.), choosing the right media (where - SMS, email, word of mouth or write a letter), and the creative execution (how – write your invitation on an origami).
You might say all you have to do is just ask. Like my friend Ms Mill who always says “You think too much.” What Ms Mill doesn’t understand is, to us men, we want 100% success. No man asks a woman expecting a “no”. We want something that’s why we ask.
The worse is when they give you an answer like, “See first”, “See how” or “See if the world will end tomorrow” answers, so are we supposed to ask again?
Thus after multiple rejection throughout the years, I decided to just asked again even though she already said “no” 2 days ago.
I SMS her, “You really don’t want to eat dinner together today?” She replied “At jpt?”
I finally got an indirect “Yes”. Women just wouldn’t say yes right. At last, the woman who rejects me the most in my lifetime, my mother, has agreed to eat dinner with her own son. It’s her birthday, of course we should go out.
Unlike my mother-in-law who loves to go out, my mother likes to stay at home and watch Korean drama, instead of going out with her son who is more charming than the Korean men. I mean they all have fake organs like their nose, what is more charming than authenticity like me?
As we all know, women like to perform stunt (Stunt is define as a woman performing a remarkable feat that leaves you speechless). And thanks to Samsung Galaxy S2 for having a battery life as short as a public phone, my mother actually change her mind and SMS me that we should eat another day, which I didn’t received.
I called her and told her I am already on my way to the restaurant and didn’t saw that message. Well luckily, my mum still (a) has a conscience, (b) touched by my persistence and sincerity (c) change her mind again or (d) All of the above.
No matter what I still got to eat dinner with my mother and I still don’t like to ask a woman out……
Showing posts with label My heroics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My heroics. Show all posts
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
A Letter To Clarissa
As you can see from my reaction in the picture, I am not too sure how to handle the affection of a three-year-old woman when she wanted to kiss me.
After Mummy Jenny saw the picture, she mentioned that she have not yet taught her daughter on how to handle guys since girls should not take the initiative so quickly. This is because guys like girls who are challenging.
I advised Mummy Jenny better not teach her daughter to be challenging because the women in my office are also challenging and most of them are still single.
Anyway since I feel guilty about avoiding Clarissa that day, I shall give Clarissa 3 tips on how to be a challenging woman.
Based on my 29 years of experience talking to women (and still not good at handling them), here are the 3 easiest ways to be challenging.
1. Give ambiguous answers
The more ambiguous the answer the better.
Use it to confuse men, make them read your mind and guess what you want. This will ensure that he will be thinking of you the whole day and trying to figure you out.
An example of an ambiguous answer is when he asks you a question, you reply with “what do you think?”
When a man’s face looks blank or he says “huh”, it means you have succeeded.
2. Never say yes
You can say any answer like “can”, “ok” or give a long indirect answer but just don’t say “yes”.
The theory is that it makes you look easy and not challenging if you say the word “yes”. (I think so, in fact I am not too sure about this theory)
The preferred choice is actually to give a long indirect answer. And the most useful way to do it is to first say “no” then say “yes” indirectly.
An example is a man asks you for lunch, first say “Don’t want”, then after a 3 second pause, say “anyway no one is stopping you from having lunch with me.”
Again when a man’s face looks blank or he says “huh”, it means you have succeeded.
3. Always pretend to be busy
This has something to do with the economic theory of demand and supply.
It is like your time is so scarce (rare supply/availability like diamond), that demand (theoretically) will be high because it is not easily available (read challenging).
An example is when a man asks you out, tell him that you are busy with ______ (fill in the blank) on that day and will not be able to confirm with him until ______ (fill in the blank). Make it like really last minute when you agree. Also when you finally meet him, meet for only 1 hour.
Alternatively agree to meet him then cancel the date 3 hours before saying you have something else. According to a woman friend, this is ethical because 3 hours is enough time for him to arrange another activity. If he is interested, he will (stupidly) forgive you and ask you a second time (to get tortured).
After giving you these 3 pointers, I hope these tips will help you to become the most challenging woman in Singapore.
So Clarissa, when you are 19 and realise many men are dying at your hands, remember to thank me and no you don’t owe me a kiss even if you miss it that day.
And also remember that I am the most challenging man in Singapore because you didn't get to kiss me.
Now that I feel guilty about betraying the male race, in my next post, I will teach men how to handle challenging women...
Thursday, March 05, 2009
The Pineapple Times 4th Edition
I realised the last time I wrote for The Pineapple Times was in 17 August 2008. 6 months 16 days later I am back... I am the editor, the correspondent, the reporter and the columnist. This online paper was started for the purpose of helping people and unlike Today Online (a free newspaper offline + online), I don't believe in working for free. So if you still have conscience after reading The Pineapple Times, you should start to:
1. Open your CD-Rom
2. Slot in your credit card
3. Close your CD-Rom
4. A pop up screen appears so key in your pin
5. If it doesn't appear, no need to repeat step one
6. Just buy me lunch or dinner in kind... Times are bad...
Ok read those sections that interest you... It will help you in your life... Really...
The Pineapple Times
Money Matters
This morning I was early for work because there is a very early meeting, I guess it is God's will that I have this early meeting (though it was cancel in the end) because I met a ex school mate who is a regional analyst for light bulbs. He told me that year on year export for China has fallen by 80%. I have yet to verify this.
He mention that China is the world factory and it really means the world economy is not doing well since demand for export has fallen. Before I sound too economics, follow me on this especially the ladies. Since there is so much uncertainties, like the current job market, stock market and fish market, people will be hoarding cash because it is the safest...
When the economy recovers and with so many cash in the market plus all the stimulus packages and injections, the market will be flooded with cash and then there will be hyper inflation... Which means in future, prices of goods will increase very rapidly.
So what does this mean? It means that the best time to spend is now! There are sales everywhere now because people are not spending and hoarding cash. So isn't this the best time to shop?? Basically the world is on sale, so buy all the stuff you need now... I am going to buy a lifetime supply of toilet paper, there is no expiry date and everyone needs to use it right, imagine the savings I get...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
For The Love Of Pineapple Tat
Many women asked me this question many times, I am not sure why. Probably they knew that this kind of thing will happen to me sooner or later. Perhaps it had happened to me but I didn't realise. So what is the question that I have always been asked,
"What will you do when a woman throw herself at you?"
Well if you have never been asked this question, don't fret because when you have a girlfriend, I am sure she will ask you. And if your girlfriend doesn't ask you, don't be sad, most probably she has underestimated you.
Let me teach you how to answer the above question, you should counter it with something like,
1. "Why would a woman throw herself at me?" (Rating: Good, you diffuse tension)
2. "I am neither rich nor handsome, why would a woman throw herself at me?" (Rating: Excellent because you criticised yourself)
3. "I love you."
(Rating: Good, cheap trick but useful)
Besides the above excuses, usually they will follow up with,
"Are you sure that you won't want a woman who throw herself at you. It's free and you don't want? You men are cheap."
You may answer with the following answers,
1. "Yes I am cheap." (Rating: Good, this will make sure she never ask you again)
2. "I don't like women." (Rating: No good, she won't believe you, if she does, she will think you don't love her. Double edged sword)
3. "I am scare of STD" (sexually transmitted disease) (Rating: Excellent, this one is practical and sound more honest, means you admit you are a cheap man with no guts)
Then it will come with a third question,
"What if the woman strip in front of you? Can you resist that?"
You only need to answer with one answer, which is,
"Why would I get myself into that kind of situation in the first place? Allowing her to strip in front of me. If she can do that, it means that we are alone together in a room." (Rating: Superb, killer answer)
After the third question, and with that killer answer, you will regain a newfound respect among your female friends, girlfriend(s), wife / wives and the female race...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
1. Open your CD-Rom
2. Slot in your credit card
3. Close your CD-Rom
4. A pop up screen appears so key in your pin
5. If it doesn't appear, no need to repeat step one
6. Just buy me lunch or dinner in kind... Times are bad...
Ok read those sections that interest you... It will help you in your life... Really...
The Pineapple Times
Money Matters
This morning I was early for work because there is a very early meeting, I guess it is God's will that I have this early meeting (though it was cancel in the end) because I met a ex school mate who is a regional analyst for light bulbs. He told me that year on year export for China has fallen by 80%. I have yet to verify this.
He mention that China is the world factory and it really means the world economy is not doing well since demand for export has fallen. Before I sound too economics, follow me on this especially the ladies. Since there is so much uncertainties, like the current job market, stock market and fish market, people will be hoarding cash because it is the safest...
When the economy recovers and with so many cash in the market plus all the stimulus packages and injections, the market will be flooded with cash and then there will be hyper inflation... Which means in future, prices of goods will increase very rapidly.
So what does this mean? It means that the best time to spend is now! There are sales everywhere now because people are not spending and hoarding cash. So isn't this the best time to shop?? Basically the world is on sale, so buy all the stuff you need now... I am going to buy a lifetime supply of toilet paper, there is no expiry date and everyone needs to use it right, imagine the savings I get...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
For The Love Of Pineapple Tat
Many women asked me this question many times, I am not sure why. Probably they knew that this kind of thing will happen to me sooner or later. Perhaps it had happened to me but I didn't realise. So what is the question that I have always been asked,
"What will you do when a woman throw herself at you?"
Well if you have never been asked this question, don't fret because when you have a girlfriend, I am sure she will ask you. And if your girlfriend doesn't ask you, don't be sad, most probably she has underestimated you.
Let me teach you how to answer the above question, you should counter it with something like,
1. "Why would a woman throw herself at me?" (Rating: Good, you diffuse tension)
2. "I am neither rich nor handsome, why would a woman throw herself at me?" (Rating: Excellent because you criticised yourself)
3. "I love you."
(Rating: Good, cheap trick but useful)
Besides the above excuses, usually they will follow up with,
"Are you sure that you won't want a woman who throw herself at you. It's free and you don't want? You men are cheap."
You may answer with the following answers,
1. "Yes I am cheap." (Rating: Good, this will make sure she never ask you again)
2. "I don't like women." (Rating: No good, she won't believe you, if she does, she will think you don't love her. Double edged sword)
3. "I am scare of STD" (sexually transmitted disease) (Rating: Excellent, this one is practical and sound more honest, means you admit you are a cheap man with no guts)
Then it will come with a third question,
"What if the woman strip in front of you? Can you resist that?"
You only need to answer with one answer, which is,
"Why would I get myself into that kind of situation in the first place? Allowing her to strip in front of me. If she can do that, it means that we are alone together in a room." (Rating: Superb, killer answer)
After the third question, and with that killer answer, you will regain a newfound respect among your female friends, girlfriend(s), wife / wives and the female race...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
Sunday, August 17, 2008
The Pineapple Times 2 1/2 Edition
Today (27/08) I am really lucky, I nearly got knocked down by a car. Why lucky? Because it didn't hit me...
Of course there are a few important reasons for the delayed publication like,
1. Lazy - I don't blog for a living, so no incentive.
2. Playing computer games (Championship Manager 2006) - Yup have been living in the fantasy world. I wanted to stop and move on with life but suddenly I won a trophy in the game, so must continue...
3. No payment received yet - Obviously the online electronic payment didn't work.
Train of Thoughts
Recently I just called my buddy, it's has been some time since I spoke to him. So I decided to call him anyway 1 day...
I have a buddy from army who was assigned to me during National Service. It was not by choice, it was by fate because buddies are assigned based on birth dates. He is a pretty interesting fellow and I have not seen him for centuries. Although there are the occasional calls but usually I am alseep because either the call is too early or too late. Ok I sleep a lot...
He is a pretty witty fellow and probably he can have a book of quotes from him.
The conversation below started because I wanted to prove that he was talking cock when he says his friends are more important than his girlfriend.
Here is one classic quote from him...
Of course there are a few important reasons for the delayed publication like,
1. Lazy - I don't blog for a living, so no incentive.
2. Playing computer games (Championship Manager 2006) - Yup have been living in the fantasy world. I wanted to stop and move on with life but suddenly I won a trophy in the game, so must continue...
3. No payment received yet - Obviously the online electronic payment didn't work.
You must be wondering why it is 2 and a half edition, that's because this is half of what I wanted to write.
Read the sections that interest you... It will help you in your life... Really...
Train of Thoughts
Recently I just called my buddy, it's has been some time since I spoke to him. So I decided to call him anyway 1 day...
I have a buddy from army who was assigned to me during National Service. It was not by choice, it was by fate because buddies are assigned based on birth dates. He is a pretty interesting fellow and I have not seen him for centuries. Although there are the occasional calls but usually I am alseep because either the call is too early or too late. Ok I sleep a lot...
He is a pretty witty fellow and probably he can have a book of quotes from him.
The conversation below started because I wanted to prove that he was talking cock when he says his friends are more important than his girlfriend.
Here is one classic quote from him...
Pineapple Tat: "Wah lau eh... Your girlfriend is more important than us..." (big mistake)
Mr Buddy: "Of course la... I can bang my girlfriend... Can you let me bang you..." (-_-" point taken)
For more information on this legendary person, you can read about this fellow below...
Team 424
My Buddy and Me
Life is like a box of chocolates
Oh if you like what you read about him... He should be still single... If you like guys who are humourous, likes risk taking and enjoy a good emotional roller coaster... He is the one for you!
Learnings from him is if someone says his friends is more important than his girlfriend, chances are he is bluffing... Don't believe, read his quotes again...
Ok if you like this guy, you know where to look for him...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
Love Column
I have thought of a few titles like,
1. Pineapple Economics of Love
2. Dr Pineapple Love
3. Love Love Pineapple
Of course I still can't decide what the title is, let me continue until I thought of one...
Marketers are Liars
It's true that in Marketing, you will meet a lot of beautiful women. Of course that also depends on what industry you are in and what you are marketing. If you are marketing ship paint or springs, chances are that you will meet men only.
So why does the Marketing Profession has many opportunities of meeting beautiful women?
Because the job requires you to meet lots of people from advertising, public relations, events, media, marketing research, modelling agency and other marketers. All of these dominated by women...
Since this is the 2nd and a half edition, of course I will not complete it... Hee...
Editors note
Recently I seek an internet geomancer (someone from my interactive agency) and was told that wordpress.com (another blog) is better. I am contemplating moving my blog to wordpress but like quite messy after shifting it over... Let me think about it...
http://pineappletat.wordpress.com/
Monday, June 30, 2008
The Pineapple Times
I have decided to start my own newspaper, its obviously called "The Pineapple Times" since its the first edition, you can read it for free, I think I will start selling the second edition. Read the sections that you are interested, it will help you in your life... Really...
The Pineapple Times
Money Matters
I finally mailed my insurance application today, finally opened an online trading account with DBS Vickers and finally I am going to get rich.....
According to Mr Fly (long long time never wrote about him) Now the stock market is displaying Double 'M' Top or Double Top 'M', whichever it is, it means the market is going to slide further.
As much as you think I am going to give you some tips on stocks, I am going to tell you what a taxi driver tell me about stocks. He said and prophesize that economy goes into decline every 12 years, especially in the Year of the Tiger, he gave some examples like 1978/79, 1998/99 and the next one will be 2009/10. However if you notice, some of the maths don't seem to quite add up. Anyway something money related is that every time when it is the Year of the Rat, there will be heavy flooding. (water = money)
In case you wonder how come the taxi uncle still drives taxi, I suspect its his hobby, if not he must really not like money...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
Women Weekly
As I spoke to my lecturer (obviously a woman) about this guy leaving his job, the first thing she said, "He must have been sacked!" Obviously she knows and detest this man and then she told me...
Lecturer: "Bad guys will always get sacked."
Pineapple Tat: "But they always climbed very high." (in the corporate world)
Lecturer: "Yes but they will get sacked one day."
Pineapple Tat: "Really?"
And then she rest her hand on my shoulder and reassured me,
Lecturer: "Yes... Trust me... They will get sacked one day."
And then another woman told me about this wicked man whom she describe as having amnesia and forgot about what he said that he will support her on. I am not sure if he really deserved it but...
She exclaimed: "He is really a wicked man, he will become an ant in his next life!"
In case you think that Women Weekly is going to teach you about how to get free sex or court girls... Nope... Its about how women curse men weekly...
So bad and wicked people will get sacked and become an ant in their next life...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
My Space
I was sitting in a huge glass cube at this meeting where there were 2 men in front of me discussing about something. However all I could pick out was portal, COTU and Aria. I suspect that they are not speaking English and I am very sure they are talking about teleporting a secret weapon to destroy another planet. And then I realised they had pointed ears. And then I realised I must be in the wrong galaxy and then I kept pressing my watch trying to beam myself away from that glass cube, back to my Pineapple Starship...
Next time when you are stuck in the wrong galaxy, just say that you need to refill the urinal so that it can start flushing again. Ok I know... Crap...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
The Pineapple Times
Money Matters
I finally mailed my insurance application today, finally opened an online trading account with DBS Vickers and finally I am going to get rich.....
According to Mr Fly (long long time never wrote about him) Now the stock market is displaying Double 'M' Top or Double Top 'M', whichever it is, it means the market is going to slide further.
As much as you think I am going to give you some tips on stocks, I am going to tell you what a taxi driver tell me about stocks. He said and prophesize that economy goes into decline every 12 years, especially in the Year of the Tiger, he gave some examples like 1978/79, 1998/99 and the next one will be 2009/10. However if you notice, some of the maths don't seem to quite add up. Anyway something money related is that every time when it is the Year of the Rat, there will be heavy flooding. (water = money)
In case you wonder how come the taxi uncle still drives taxi, I suspect its his hobby, if not he must really not like money...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
Women Weekly
As I spoke to my lecturer (obviously a woman) about this guy leaving his job, the first thing she said, "He must have been sacked!" Obviously she knows and detest this man and then she told me...
Lecturer: "Bad guys will always get sacked."
Pineapple Tat: "But they always climbed very high." (in the corporate world)
Lecturer: "Yes but they will get sacked one day."
Pineapple Tat: "Really?"
And then she rest her hand on my shoulder and reassured me,
Lecturer: "Yes... Trust me... They will get sacked one day."
And then another woman told me about this wicked man whom she describe as having amnesia and forgot about what he said that he will support her on. I am not sure if he really deserved it but...
She exclaimed: "He is really a wicked man, he will become an ant in his next life!"
In case you think that Women Weekly is going to teach you about how to get free sex or court girls... Nope... Its about how women curse men weekly...
So bad and wicked people will get sacked and become an ant in their next life...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
My Space
I was sitting in a huge glass cube at this meeting where there were 2 men in front of me discussing about something. However all I could pick out was portal, COTU and Aria. I suspect that they are not speaking English and I am very sure they are talking about teleporting a secret weapon to destroy another planet. And then I realised they had pointed ears. And then I realised I must be in the wrong galaxy and then I kept pressing my watch trying to beam myself away from that glass cube, back to my Pineapple Starship...
Next time when you are stuck in the wrong galaxy, just say that you need to refill the urinal so that it can start flushing again. Ok I know... Crap...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
To Love An Imperfect Man
I look into the mirror and I am not sure what she sees in this man...
I look into my wallet and I am not sure what wonderful things can this little money buy...
I thank God for sending me this wonderful woman into my life...
For she does not ask of me to pluck the stars up in the sky for her or to dig for diamonds under the earth...
For she will be happy just to have the sweets in my pocket...
And to have such a wonderful woman loving an imperfect man like me, what more can I ask for...
Dedicated to Ms K and I want to wish you a Happy Birthday!
I look into my wallet and I am not sure what wonderful things can this little money buy...
I thank God for sending me this wonderful woman into my life...
For she does not ask of me to pluck the stars up in the sky for her or to dig for diamonds under the earth...
For she will be happy just to have the sweets in my pocket...
And to have such a wonderful woman loving an imperfect man like me, what more can I ask for...
Dedicated to Ms K and I want to wish you a Happy Birthday!
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Top 10 Women
I read Veran's blog and he mention that he started writing a blog because of a girl. I wonder whether I wrote a blog for the same reason (1 girl) or reasons (many girls)? I can't exactly remember what happened, so I am going to look through all my past records and read what really happen... Then I thought I should just pick my Top 10 Favourite Stories of Women, so here goes...
1. An April Summer Breeze (March 17, 2006)
2. Dreaming Ms K (March 17, 2006)
3. Jingle Bells Jingle Bells (March 18, 2006)
4. A Passing of a April Shower (March 22, 2006)
5. Lost in the Train of Thoughts (March 25, 2006)
6. Slack and Slacker (April 06, 2006)
7. Credit Card, Dream Girl and Lily (October 02, 2006)
8. Looking Forward to Something Everyday (October 09, 2006)
9. Pieces (October 17, 2006)
10. Waiting for you (October 21, 2006)
11. Fate (February 05, 2007)
12. Balloons (February 10, 2007)
You must be wondering how come it is more than 10? Since my heart is full of love, there is definitely space for more than 10.....
1. An April Summer Breeze (March 17, 2006)
2. Dreaming Ms K (March 17, 2006)
3. Jingle Bells Jingle Bells (March 18, 2006)
4. A Passing of a April Shower (March 22, 2006)
5. Lost in the Train of Thoughts (March 25, 2006)
6. Slack and Slacker (April 06, 2006)
7. Credit Card, Dream Girl and Lily (October 02, 2006)
8. Looking Forward to Something Everyday (October 09, 2006)
9. Pieces (October 17, 2006)
10. Waiting for you (October 21, 2006)
11. Fate (February 05, 2007)
12. Balloons (February 10, 2007)
You must be wondering how come it is more than 10? Since my heart is full of love, there is definitely space for more than 10.....
New York Updates
How was my New York trip? Just read Ms K's blog... Lazy to write...
http://www.korina-sylee.blogspot.com/
Title: Learning Experience (07 March 2008)
&
Title: 10 Signs you have been to New York (04 March 2008)
http://www.korina-sylee.blogspot.com/
Title: Learning Experience (07 March 2008)
&
Title: 10 Signs you have been to New York (04 March 2008)
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
I See People Everywhere
Apparently I got this knack of seeing familiar faces almost everyday. Of course I am not talking about colleagues which you will definitely see almost everyday but people whom you seldom meet, don't really keep in touch, have not met for a long time, ex-colleagues, ex-schoolmates, people you have attended courses or talks with etc...
I see them at the MRT stations, saw them at nightspots, bump into them at shopping malls, even going for IPPT (a compulsory fitness test for previously conscript soldiers) at Maju Camp, I actually had the same test date with my friend Mr Alien who stays at Pasir Ris. Today I was given a shock when Ms Kitty, an ex-colleague, "OEI" me at Burger King at International Plaza. She happens to be on off today and was meeting a friend. I even saw an ex-boyfriend of a ex-classmate twice at Tanjong Pagar, once standing right in front of me in the train, another time walking past me at an underpass.
Everything is such a concidence or maybe it's fate or maybe I can just pretend I don't see them.
Some say it's because I have many friends.
Some say it's because I am good at recognising faces.
I say I should not owe people any money,
Because I cannot run away......
I see them at the MRT stations, saw them at nightspots, bump into them at shopping malls, even going for IPPT (a compulsory fitness test for previously conscript soldiers) at Maju Camp, I actually had the same test date with my friend Mr Alien who stays at Pasir Ris. Today I was given a shock when Ms Kitty, an ex-colleague, "OEI" me at Burger King at International Plaza. She happens to be on off today and was meeting a friend. I even saw an ex-boyfriend of a ex-classmate twice at Tanjong Pagar, once standing right in front of me in the train, another time walking past me at an underpass.
Everything is such a concidence or maybe it's fate or maybe I can just pretend I don't see them.
Some say it's because I have many friends.
Some say it's because I am good at recognising faces.
I say I should not owe people any money,
Because I cannot run away......
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
A Really Lucky Draw
My company is known to give out X'mas lucky draw prizes like it's free, indeed it's free, they are sponsored by business partners. Prizes like cameras, handphones, air tickets, watches and hundred dollars of vouchers.
Since everyone is guaranteed a prize, naturally people are disappointed when they are being picked first cos the best prizes are announced last. I can't believe it when the lucky draw picker refuse to announced my name, I was never a big fan of lucky draw that is why I don't buy 4D or lottery. Yes you heard right, lottery is a lucky draw and I don't care if you think 6th sense (if you consider that a skill) and mathematical ability is required of it.
Now there are only 4 people left announced the lucky draw picker and they are all women's names... Huh?? Later I realised I am not in the draw due to a mix-up and the last few prizes are air tickets to far far away places like Japan and London. I wasn't disappointed seriously because these things are not mine in the first place.
When it was drawn to the last 2 prizes, the organiser suddenly realise that there are 6 people left and miraclously they decide to include everyone and....... I won 2 air tickets to New York....
Since everyone is guaranteed a prize, naturally people are disappointed when they are being picked first cos the best prizes are announced last. I can't believe it when the lucky draw picker refuse to announced my name, I was never a big fan of lucky draw that is why I don't buy 4D or lottery. Yes you heard right, lottery is a lucky draw and I don't care if you think 6th sense (if you consider that a skill) and mathematical ability is required of it.
Now there are only 4 people left announced the lucky draw picker and they are all women's names... Huh?? Later I realised I am not in the draw due to a mix-up and the last few prizes are air tickets to far far away places like Japan and London. I wasn't disappointed seriously because these things are not mine in the first place.
When it was drawn to the last 2 prizes, the organiser suddenly realise that there are 6 people left and miraclously they decide to include everyone and....... I won 2 air tickets to New York....
Clean and Scrub, Spick and Span
I was cleaning up my forsaken room which I used to share with my father. I suspect that it must have been almost 2 years since I slept in that room, judging from the thickness of the dirt accumalated on the fan. I have this typical chinese habit of hoarding useless things like clips, 3 year old highlighters, paper bags that I never will use, university notes long long ago, boxes etc...
I think I took about 3 hours to clean just the fan, clear the cabinet and throw away all the useless stuffs, so that I will have more space to keep other useless stuffs... And I don't even know why I am writing about this... I guess packing and cleaning your house is theurapatic, it can make you feel happy and lighter; I am talking about it emotionally not your weight, so ladies you can try it. Sometimes losing weight don't really make you happy, only housework does...
I think I took about 3 hours to clean just the fan, clear the cabinet and throw away all the useless stuffs, so that I will have more space to keep other useless stuffs... And I don't even know why I am writing about this... I guess packing and cleaning your house is theurapatic, it can make you feel happy and lighter; I am talking about it emotionally not your weight, so ladies you can try it. Sometimes losing weight don't really make you happy, only housework does...
Saturday, December 29, 2007
3 Lucky Things
The Singh that I met at the traffic junction near my office told me that December will be a lucky month for me. He said 3 lucky things will happen to me...
One. I lost my transponder (a device to open my office door), I thought I have to pay S$50 for losing it. I found out I only need to pay S$38.
Two. I was holding a hot water flask vertically, the bottom gave way. The whole glass interior drop onto the floor, the glass shattered , splittering on the floor like glittering stars. Luckily I only got scalded at my armpit. Later I realised I cut my big toe too.
Three. I have been awarded 2 days MC for the past 2 consecutive weeks. Which means I have been working for only half a week for the past 2 weeks. And I am still sick.
Well I am not sure what are the 3 lucky things that is suppose to happen to me in December. But I definitely know one unlucky thing will definitely happen to him when I see him again... That is a punch in his face...
One. I lost my transponder (a device to open my office door), I thought I have to pay S$50 for losing it. I found out I only need to pay S$38.
Two. I was holding a hot water flask vertically, the bottom gave way. The whole glass interior drop onto the floor, the glass shattered , splittering on the floor like glittering stars. Luckily I only got scalded at my armpit. Later I realised I cut my big toe too.
Three. I have been awarded 2 days MC for the past 2 consecutive weeks. Which means I have been working for only half a week for the past 2 weeks. And I am still sick.
Well I am not sure what are the 3 lucky things that is suppose to happen to me in December. But I definitely know one unlucky thing will definitely happen to him when I see him again... That is a punch in his face...
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Strange Encounters
"You got a very lucky face."
A towering Singh with a yellow turban said to me when I was waiting to cross the road at Tanjong Pagar. On his yellow turban is an emblem which I did not see clearly.
"Sorry huh..." I said and looking puzzled.
"You got a very lucky face." The Singh said again.
"December will be very lucky to you and 3 happy things will happen." Said the Singh
"Oh......" At that moment I was freak out.
"What is your name?" Said the Singh
"Wei Tat." I said. Unsure that I should tell him at all. I wanted bullshit an English name like Peter or Jackson.
Then he took out a yellow namecard that is laminated. On top it wrote "God loves you" and his name "Raja". There were other words but I was too freak out to read. He said something which I can't remember and I told him that I am in a rush and return him the namecard and he just said "ok". To my surprise he is not persistent. I just cross the road and walk away from him.
The second encounter was with a woman while I was sitting in the train going home. She was sitting beside me and she suddenly spoke to me.
Woman: "You have a nice bag, where did you buy it?"
Pineapple Tat: "I bought it from Metro."
Woman: "What brand is this?"
Pineapple Tat: "FX Creation."
Woman: "How much is it?"
Pineapple Tat: "I can't really remember..."
Then she start having a conversation with me about her son's bag being too heavy and she wants to buy a lighter one. Suddenly she start molesting my bag by poking it, feeling the material and pinching to feel its softness. My bag was humiliated just like that.
In a third encounter, I was in the train going home with Ms K and Ms Piggy. After they alighted, 2 men nearby suddenly start talking to me. They say I look very familiar. They have seen me somewhere before. However both of them came from Malaysia, and I can't recall seeing both of them before. Upon realising that we don't know each other. They still kept talking to me, what is most suspicious about them is that they kept asking about my occupation and my life. They seem really interested in me and one guy even shake hand with me and introduce himself. In an instance reaction, when the train reach Lakeside, I got down, one stop before Boon Lay where I alight to go home. I just told them I am alighting and then left. In the end I walked and took a bus home.
When I was selling credit cards part time, sometimes I would try to look grumpy and lean on the underpass wall of a credit card hub at Orchard MRT. However and strangely people will still ask me for directions. I mean I try to look grumpy so that nobody will ask me anything, can't these people read body language?!
You know what I conclude from these incidents - That I have a handsome face. Even the Singh thinks so. He said "You have a very lucky face." Just tell me, "You have a very handsome face." I will understand it just as well. No wonder strangers keep talking to me...
A towering Singh with a yellow turban said to me when I was waiting to cross the road at Tanjong Pagar. On his yellow turban is an emblem which I did not see clearly.
"Sorry huh..." I said and looking puzzled.
"You got a very lucky face." The Singh said again.
"December will be very lucky to you and 3 happy things will happen." Said the Singh
"Oh......" At that moment I was freak out.
"What is your name?" Said the Singh
"Wei Tat." I said. Unsure that I should tell him at all. I wanted bullshit an English name like Peter or Jackson.
Then he took out a yellow namecard that is laminated. On top it wrote "God loves you" and his name "Raja". There were other words but I was too freak out to read. He said something which I can't remember and I told him that I am in a rush and return him the namecard and he just said "ok". To my surprise he is not persistent. I just cross the road and walk away from him.
The second encounter was with a woman while I was sitting in the train going home. She was sitting beside me and she suddenly spoke to me.
Woman: "You have a nice bag, where did you buy it?"
Pineapple Tat: "I bought it from Metro."
Woman: "What brand is this?"
Pineapple Tat: "FX Creation."
Woman: "How much is it?"
Pineapple Tat: "I can't really remember..."
Then she start having a conversation with me about her son's bag being too heavy and she wants to buy a lighter one. Suddenly she start molesting my bag by poking it, feeling the material and pinching to feel its softness. My bag was humiliated just like that.
In a third encounter, I was in the train going home with Ms K and Ms Piggy. After they alighted, 2 men nearby suddenly start talking to me. They say I look very familiar. They have seen me somewhere before. However both of them came from Malaysia, and I can't recall seeing both of them before. Upon realising that we don't know each other. They still kept talking to me, what is most suspicious about them is that they kept asking about my occupation and my life. They seem really interested in me and one guy even shake hand with me and introduce himself. In an instance reaction, when the train reach Lakeside, I got down, one stop before Boon Lay where I alight to go home. I just told them I am alighting and then left. In the end I walked and took a bus home.
When I was selling credit cards part time, sometimes I would try to look grumpy and lean on the underpass wall of a credit card hub at Orchard MRT. However and strangely people will still ask me for directions. I mean I try to look grumpy so that nobody will ask me anything, can't these people read body language?!
You know what I conclude from these incidents - That I have a handsome face. Even the Singh thinks so. He said "You have a very lucky face." Just tell me, "You have a very handsome face." I will understand it just as well. No wonder strangers keep talking to me...
Friday, August 17, 2007
Classified Ads
I am changing job.
The 1 month notice seems like a long time before I go to my new office in September. The strange thing is that my new job responsibilities are revealed to me slowly by slowly each week. Its a new team, so no clear directions has been set, thus I only have a rough idea of what I am going to do.
From knowing more about my job responsibilities to knowing my new department's name and my new boss. The next thing I know is that I am going to recruit people! In case you are guessing what I am doing, I am not in MLM (multi level marketing), I am not in insurance, I am not in secret societies and I am definitely not going to join any political parties. I am in the business of merchant business. I am going over to a competitor. (higher pay... WAHAHAHAHAHA!!)
I have drew up a hit list of what kind of talent I want, so here goes:
Secretary
I always wanted a secretary, you see its more of a need than a want. I can't organise my time, I don't know where I put my things, I always forget to remember things and I just can't..... You see! I even forget what I want to write. I desperately need one.
Criteria: Young and pretty (cos I have to see her for 5 days of the week, 9 hours everyday) and must be below 50kg. (so can sit on my lap and proof read my documents)
Pantry Auntie a.k.a Corporate Assistant
Yup... You read correctly. I am going to have a pantry auntie. Why? Because I am going to have my own pantry! Bascially when I go for meetings, I want her to clean up the meeting room, prepare drinks for my guests and make a good cup of teh si (milk tea with evaporated milk) and coffee whenever I want. Ensure enough food and beer in the fridge and snacks on my table.
Criteria: Most important - make good teh si and coffee. Good stock management skills. Being a hot pantry auntie will give you an edge in getting this job.
Personal Assistant
You all must be wondering what is the difference between a secretary and a personal assistant, seriously I don't really know. I just want an extra headcount. My personal assistant will do all my legwork like reserving restaurant seats, book air tickets, queue up to buy concert tickets for me etc. Job descriptions, just 3 words - do sai kang (do shit work)
Criteria: Hardworking, naive and easily bullied
Bodyguard
Being capable has its risk. People will try to hire gunmen to shoot you, sabotage you, delay you in going to a meeting, steal your plans and send spies to you etc. For now I will get one or should I get 2? Or maybe 3? 4? 5?
Criteria: Must know martial arts (minimum black belt), alert to the surroundings and look good when wearing sunglasses.
Chauffeur
I am not sure whether I spell this correctly (that's why I need a secretary). Someone just to drive me around wherever I want to go.
Criteria: Must know where all the best food are, the best night clubs and bars in town. Good driving skills, able to evade my chasing fans.
Cleaning Lady
Basically just clear my rubbish bin, clean my desk, throw away the empty beer cans and snack packs on my table. I am just too busy to do all these.
Criteria: Loves to do housework, has a need for being tidy. Good stamina and at least 1.7m tall. (she has to clean my 2m high cubicle wall and 20 sqm of my office space)
Legal Counsel / Lawyer
As I have to sign the thousands and thousands of documents everyday and millions and millions of my fans autograph books, I need a legal counsel to advise me on these documents and contracts, if not I will be signing my life away. I also need a lawyer to help me defend against sexual harrassments suits.
Criteria: Know the law well and looks like one of those hot lawyers in Ally McBeal.
Nurse / Medic
Working has its stress. So I need a nurse to watch out for my health in case I overeat and drink too much in office. At least help is available immediately.
Criteria: Trained in first aid and looks angelic in the nurse uniform.
As you can see my criterias are pretty simple. Males need not apply. You can drop your resume in my email and remember to include your most RECENT photo. As usual, only shortlisted candidates will be notify. As I need time to compare the photos, sorry I mean resumes, you may wait up to 3 weeks.
By the way, I just remembered that I am not told of my job title yet.....
The 1 month notice seems like a long time before I go to my new office in September. The strange thing is that my new job responsibilities are revealed to me slowly by slowly each week. Its a new team, so no clear directions has been set, thus I only have a rough idea of what I am going to do.
From knowing more about my job responsibilities to knowing my new department's name and my new boss. The next thing I know is that I am going to recruit people! In case you are guessing what I am doing, I am not in MLM (multi level marketing), I am not in insurance, I am not in secret societies and I am definitely not going to join any political parties. I am in the business of merchant business. I am going over to a competitor. (higher pay... WAHAHAHAHAHA!!)
I have drew up a hit list of what kind of talent I want, so here goes:
Secretary
I always wanted a secretary, you see its more of a need than a want. I can't organise my time, I don't know where I put my things, I always forget to remember things and I just can't..... You see! I even forget what I want to write. I desperately need one.
Criteria: Young and pretty (cos I have to see her for 5 days of the week, 9 hours everyday) and must be below 50kg. (so can sit on my lap and proof read my documents)
Pantry Auntie a.k.a Corporate Assistant
Yup... You read correctly. I am going to have a pantry auntie. Why? Because I am going to have my own pantry! Bascially when I go for meetings, I want her to clean up the meeting room, prepare drinks for my guests and make a good cup of teh si (milk tea with evaporated milk) and coffee whenever I want. Ensure enough food and beer in the fridge and snacks on my table.
Criteria: Most important - make good teh si and coffee. Good stock management skills. Being a hot pantry auntie will give you an edge in getting this job.
Personal Assistant
You all must be wondering what is the difference between a secretary and a personal assistant, seriously I don't really know. I just want an extra headcount. My personal assistant will do all my legwork like reserving restaurant seats, book air tickets, queue up to buy concert tickets for me etc. Job descriptions, just 3 words - do sai kang (do shit work)
Criteria: Hardworking, naive and easily bullied
Bodyguard
Being capable has its risk. People will try to hire gunmen to shoot you, sabotage you, delay you in going to a meeting, steal your plans and send spies to you etc. For now I will get one or should I get 2? Or maybe 3? 4? 5?
Criteria: Must know martial arts (minimum black belt), alert to the surroundings and look good when wearing sunglasses.
Chauffeur
I am not sure whether I spell this correctly (that's why I need a secretary). Someone just to drive me around wherever I want to go.
Criteria: Must know where all the best food are, the best night clubs and bars in town. Good driving skills, able to evade my chasing fans.
Cleaning Lady
Basically just clear my rubbish bin, clean my desk, throw away the empty beer cans and snack packs on my table. I am just too busy to do all these.
Criteria: Loves to do housework, has a need for being tidy. Good stamina and at least 1.7m tall. (she has to clean my 2m high cubicle wall and 20 sqm of my office space)
Legal Counsel / Lawyer
As I have to sign the thousands and thousands of documents everyday and millions and millions of my fans autograph books, I need a legal counsel to advise me on these documents and contracts, if not I will be signing my life away. I also need a lawyer to help me defend against sexual harrassments suits.
Criteria: Know the law well and looks like one of those hot lawyers in Ally McBeal.
Nurse / Medic
Working has its stress. So I need a nurse to watch out for my health in case I overeat and drink too much in office. At least help is available immediately.
Criteria: Trained in first aid and looks angelic in the nurse uniform.
As you can see my criterias are pretty simple. Males need not apply. You can drop your resume in my email and remember to include your most RECENT photo. As usual, only shortlisted candidates will be notify. As I need time to compare the photos, sorry I mean resumes, you may wait up to 3 weeks.
By the way, I just remembered that I am not told of my job title yet.....
Monday, June 25, 2007
My Five Wives
Hi people!Do you see the young and handsome guy on the extreme right? Yup thats me... You see 4 beautiful women sitting beside me, starting from my right, the first woman is pointing number 1, the second woman is flashing the number 2, the third woman is showing number 3 and the fourth woman is displaying number 5. Well people those are the ranking of my five wives. :) (1,2,3 & 5, Number 4 is missing because she has something on)
We decide to have a family photo, so that I can keep it in my wallet and look at whoever is missing when I go out. Let me introduce my 5 wives to you, starting from Number 1...
Number 1
She is usually the one that takes care of me and helps me organise things (read: control me). A very funny and crappy girl. I like the way she laughs. Can look glam one moment and cute the other. Always caring, patient and helpful towards me, no matter how grumpy I am. Has leadership that is why she is number 1. Number 1.....
Number 2
She is a nice girl who always think of others first. She has a charming smile, a food lover, enjoys playing game(mahjong) and a natural athelete (beats me at pool). Always accomodating towards me. Can take my nonsense and rubbish. I like....
Number 3
She is the one that pays for my breakfast, lunch, dinner and cab fare. Always plotting to make me fat by sharing food with me. A capable woman with a gigglish laughter. Cute at times and fierce the other. Will be patient with me for the same thing that she will be impatient to others. Very lucky..... (and I don't know why)
Number 4
She belongs to a rare species of women who still does housework and cook. A good listener and someone who takes care of the family. Very fierce towards me but I know she is acting. Always fall for my tricks to make me look clever. Thinks I am capable and very encouraging towards me. Nice.....
Number 5
She is the youngest of my five wives. A clever girl and also has good taste because she laughs at everything I say. She always makes me feel like the funniest man in the world. Always scolds me for no reason (I am impressed). Haha....
As Number 1 has allowed me to have up to 8 wives, 3 places are actually up for grabs namely Number 6, 7 and 8. If you think you are good enough, please seek an audition with Number 1,2 and 3 although I am not sure why I can't make my own choices.
Oh yah.... This morning I read a book by Malcolm Gladwell's "The Tipping Point". In the book, it states that men are capable of feeling strongly for a few people and will only be overloaded when it reaches Number 10 to 15. Given my kind heart, I think I will extend it to 15 wives. That means I will have to buy 15 wedding gowns and have 30 Father and Mother-laws and not to say the numerous new relatives I will get.
I would really love to share my love with all of you but as you know there is only one me. So hurry up! While stock lasts......
Thursday, May 17, 2007
The Sentosa Finals
May 26, 2007, 10am - The Sentosa Cup FinalsWelcome to Siloso Beach, this is the long awaited Cup Finals between 2000 Tiger Gang and 99E Five Stars Rangers. It will be an intense Captain Balls match (modified rules - unlike the original game where someone stand on a chair to grab the ball to score, this will be a free-scoring game, anyone who stand behind the scoring line and catches the ball from a team mate scores) . We have been waiting for 7 years for this Finals to happen. Yes... Can you feel the electricfying atmosphere? And hear this, the fans are chanting "Pineapple! Pineapple! Pineapple!" (ops... self advertising again)
This is a derby match! Both teams had an intense rivalry since the days in Jurong Institute (high school - A Levels). The 2000 Tiger Gang are the students from the year 2000 batch, this gang was formed when a bunch of repeat students met each other during PE lessons. What is interesting is that 2 of them belongs to the original 99E Rangers. (Pineapple Tat & Wierd Tiger)
The 99E Rangers are the 1999 student batch. These 5 guys are from the same class, the only 2 reasons why they eat during canteen break is because they are hungry and they want to look at girls. Interestingly, all of them has different tastes, so no conflict of interest.
OH! Here comes the line-up for each team.
2000 Tiger Gang
Mr Gump (SW - Sweeper):
The only foreign import in this game, Mr Gump holds a high rank in NCC and continues to help in school, outstanding enough to represent school for NCC activities. Crappy and fearless.
Mr Big Tiger (PM - Playmaker):
Easily the tallest dude in the game, he stand at an impressive height of 1.8+m. He comes from the school bowling club. Deadly sense of accuracy and height advantage when going for the high balls. Big and useful.
Mr Little Tiger (RW - Right Wing):
His lean and atheletic frame makes him a born runner. He is from the school's running club and is crazy about running. Great fitness and always makes tireless runs. A born winger. Boylishly fit.
Mr Sporty Tiger (LW - Left Wing):
A natural sportsman, he is from the school's bowling club. Once won a gold medal for the school's yearly sports day for long jump. Good agility and speedy. Sportily good.
Mr Wise Tiger (FW - Forward):
Determined and have a winner's attitude. He is good at badminton and great at smashing (I know because I got smash by the ball a few times). Determine winner.
99E Five Stars Rangers
Mr Sun (DF - Defender):
First look and you will think he is a hunk. His big frame is suitable for muscling out opponents for the ball. Good drinker and likes to play mahjong. I am not sure how this helps in the game. A player to look out for.
Mr Nose (DF - Defender):
First look and you think he looks like Jackie Chan (Chen Long - KungFu star). Has prove himself to be a great goalkeeper at the NUS Arts & Soci Cage football. Won the runner-up medal in the 'A' Division Field Hockey for school. Look out for his kung fu.
Mr Pineapple Tat (PM - Playmaker):
Organiser of the game, has always scheme to create this Cup Final. In the same school hockey team as Mr Nose. Won the runner-up medal and champion medal in the 'A' Division Field Hockey (sorry Mr Nose, got 1 more medal than you). Represent secondary school in chess tournaments (chess is also a sport). Clever and talented. :)
Mr Alien (FW - Forward):
Tall and lanky. He is good at billard and pool. Show his apptitude in getting small balls to go into even smaller holes. Good at fishing too. Amazingly accurate and able to sense (fish) the right moment. An intuitive player.
Mr Weird Tiger (FW - Forward):
A good-looking guy. An attribute good for players to have (so even if you are lousy, you still have fans). Used to be in the school hockey team with Mr Nose and Pineapple Tat. A good-looking player.
Let the dream finals begin!
Did I say dream finals? Oh yah, its still a dream because not all are coming like Mr XXX, and Mr XXXX is not confirmed yet and Mr XXXXX has not reply and Mr XXXXXX is for a good season.
Well... The Sentosa Finals will still happen. I will just add in the girls on that day. Wohoooo!!
Sunday, January 28, 2007
RAIN's Coming World Tour
I can't believe it! I actually went to watch RAIN's concert, he didn't disappoint me and totally fulfill my expectations of his concert..... It was boring!I can't fathom why people (read: females) are going gaga over him. I mean he has small eyes, no outstanding features and a wierd hairstyle. I have small eyes, an outstanding feature (nose) and a nice hairstyle. :)
There were lots of fire works and visual spectacles, whenever he speaks English, they (read: females again) scream! I mean I speak better English, in fact I speak really well. (ok kidding) He uses a cheap trick on them (read: naive females), he say they are his babies. -_-" And of course they scream AGAIN. I am sure if Peggy-san didn't go with me, she would scream her lungs out. She probably wanted to keep her image in front of me, don't worry I have already known you too well, so you can't trick me.
RAIN did the most disgusting thing I have ever seen, he took a white towel wipe his perspiration and threw it into the crowd! And against all logic that you should jump and duck away from that filthy towel, people (read: who else but females) jump for it! Amazing...
Despite all of RAIN's weird antics and funny hairstyle, I wish his concerts a success because he will be donating to those Children with AIDS. God bless his concerts and a speedy recovery of his arm.
Thanks to Peggy-san, she let me in on the fact that he is the same age as me - 25 years old this year. I guess I have found the formula to success, I mean if he can do it, I can too. So I will name myself SUNSHINE, learn a few slick dance moves, learn a bit of Korean and I will go to Korea and name my concerts "SUNSHINE's Coming World Tour". Call the Korean ladies my BABIES and throw towels, water bottles and sunglasses at them. (at least I throw more souveniers)
From today onwards, call me SUNSHINE, baby....
Monday, June 26, 2006
No Time For Girls
You see 1 bad thing about this job I have is that I have no life. Why? Because its taking up so much of my time that all I see are my colleagues. Nothing wrong with that but then I would like to see other people too. I have been meeting Mr Nose almost everyday for the past month because he is doing part time with us, so after work we would meet up to talk cock, watch soccer, talk cock and watch even more soccer, talk cock and drink and watch even even more soccer. I even went to his house to watch soccer where he stay in Ang Mo Kio and me in Boon Lay.
Of course I have my off days, but then even on my off days I have to go back to office to do some work. My off days usually falls on Tuesday where I go to study at night. So my off days are like not even there. If I am lucky enough I would be able to sneak in a night to play soccer. The main point is I am not meeting any GIRLS..... AHHHHH....... Haha....
The last time I went out with a girl is like few weeks ago. You might think its like not too long ago right. Right but that girl is my female buddy, so not counted. But hey.... Guess what.... I just went out with a girl yeaterday. Oh yes..... but I am not going to tell you who is it. Haha...
Curiously, I always thought this girl had some attitude and also quite guai lan (cocky), although she claim guai lan and cocky are 2 different things. She admitted she is guai lan but not cocky. Doesn't matter. She sometimes does show some hint of being nice. Like asking about me and treating me to a drink. Weird girl though cos she refuse to let me pay her back when I told her to help me buy and insist on paying me back when I say its ok. She is a good friend to borrow money from cos you don't need to pay her back. :)
Yesterday she was suppose to meet her friend but he put her aeroplane, I wanted to meet Mr Nose but he got camp the next day and he got to wake up early. She told me she doesn't like to go home early, I told her me too. So I ask her out lor but then she hinted to me first. Haha....
We went to Coffee Bean to sit and talk cock. We talked about our past relationships. She had just ended her long term relationship like me although mine is like last December. And how the relationship is giving us problems. She told me that now she prefer older guys, she is 21 and I am 24. When I heard this, I purposely said I prefer older girls 23 years old and above. She told me girls are already mature at 21. I told her I want to play safe cos I dont like childish girls. Hehheh....
Before we part, we were at the MRT station waiting for the train, she told me I was full of crap, irritating and oh yah at Coffee Bean she said I am an MCP (Male Chauvinist Pig), I told her I purposely irritated her,
She: "I hope your train come soon."
Me: "I hope your train come soon too."
Me: "I am glad our feelings are mutual."
She: "You are irritating and I am going to slap you."
Me: "I know you won't and I am confident about that."
She: "So are you confident enough to shut up?"
Me: "Yes but I am not going to do it just because you told me to."
Me: "Are you sure you don't want to talk to me?"
She: "Yes."
Me: "Is that your final answer?"
She: "Yes."
Me: "Really? You don't know what you are missing out on."
She: "Bye." (her train came first and she gave me an abrupt bye and walk away)
She: "Bye." (turning around and smiling to me and giving me a proper bye this time)
Me: "Bye." (smiling back at her)
Hmmmm.... Should I ask her out again? Nah.... Remember I have no time for that......
Of course I have my off days, but then even on my off days I have to go back to office to do some work. My off days usually falls on Tuesday where I go to study at night. So my off days are like not even there. If I am lucky enough I would be able to sneak in a night to play soccer. The main point is I am not meeting any GIRLS..... AHHHHH....... Haha....
The last time I went out with a girl is like few weeks ago. You might think its like not too long ago right. Right but that girl is my female buddy, so not counted. But hey.... Guess what.... I just went out with a girl yeaterday. Oh yes..... but I am not going to tell you who is it. Haha...
Curiously, I always thought this girl had some attitude and also quite guai lan (cocky), although she claim guai lan and cocky are 2 different things. She admitted she is guai lan but not cocky. Doesn't matter. She sometimes does show some hint of being nice. Like asking about me and treating me to a drink. Weird girl though cos she refuse to let me pay her back when I told her to help me buy and insist on paying me back when I say its ok. She is a good friend to borrow money from cos you don't need to pay her back. :)
Yesterday she was suppose to meet her friend but he put her aeroplane, I wanted to meet Mr Nose but he got camp the next day and he got to wake up early. She told me she doesn't like to go home early, I told her me too. So I ask her out lor but then she hinted to me first. Haha....
We went to Coffee Bean to sit and talk cock. We talked about our past relationships. She had just ended her long term relationship like me although mine is like last December. And how the relationship is giving us problems. She told me that now she prefer older guys, she is 21 and I am 24. When I heard this, I purposely said I prefer older girls 23 years old and above. She told me girls are already mature at 21. I told her I want to play safe cos I dont like childish girls. Hehheh....
Before we part, we were at the MRT station waiting for the train, she told me I was full of crap, irritating and oh yah at Coffee Bean she said I am an MCP (Male Chauvinist Pig), I told her I purposely irritated her,
She: "I hope your train come soon."
Me: "I hope your train come soon too."
Me: "I am glad our feelings are mutual."
She: "You are irritating and I am going to slap you."
Me: "I know you won't and I am confident about that."
She: "So are you confident enough to shut up?"
Me: "Yes but I am not going to do it just because you told me to."
Me: "Are you sure you don't want to talk to me?"
She: "Yes."
Me: "Is that your final answer?"
She: "Yes."
Me: "Really? You don't know what you are missing out on."
She: "Bye." (her train came first and she gave me an abrupt bye and walk away)
She: "Bye." (turning around and smiling to me and giving me a proper bye this time)
Me: "Bye." (smiling back at her)
Hmmmm.... Should I ask her out again? Nah.... Remember I have no time for that......
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Super Striker Tat
Today I finally get to play soccer after being busy for a few weeks. Mr Buddy would usually organise a game at a basketball court and a green dustbin is use as a goal post together with the single pole of the basketball pole to make a goal mouth.
I have already scored hat-tricks (3 goals) for 4 consecutive games at that place. I am beginning to think that I am Thiery Henry. Tonight I did it again. I scored my fifth hat trick. Everytime before the match, I would tell Mr Buddy I would score a hat trick. Everytime after the match, without fail, I would ask Mr Buddy,
Me: "Eh.... Can I bring the ball home?"
Mr Buddy: "Why lei?"
Me: "Because I scored a hat trick again."
Mr Buddy: "......." -_-"
And without fail, he would always refuse me. Its soccer tradition that the player who scored a hat trick to bring the match ball home. I could already have 5 balls at home.
To cap off my fifth hat trick for my successful career at the Jurong Basketball Stadium. I scored an outrageous goal. It has flair, courage, luck all combined into that one goal. My most memorable one. Here is what happened, commentary by Pineapple Tat....
The defender pumps a long ball up......
Striker Tat chases for the ball....
The opposition defender which is a few paces in front seems more likely to get there first....
The ball took a bounce and it seems like its going out for a goal kick.....
Opposition defender stops to let it go out for a goal kick....
Whats that?! Striker Tat makes a desperate lunge forward.....
Can he get to it??!! Seems impossible.....
Striker Tat left shoe flew out while he makes a super diving header.....
And ITS A GOAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!!!! Striker Tat SCORES with his nose......
Lets see the replay again.....
Oh whats that? While Striker Tat left shoe flew out, the opposition defender actually went to pick it up....
He actually neglected his defensive duties to pick up Striker Tat left shoe......
Was the left shoe a new soccer move?? A new move to fake defenders??........
The opposition players are screwing their defender for making that crucial mistake.....
Striker Tat was delirious and threw his left shoe in the air celebrating......
What a wonderful goal!!!!!.....
Post match interview by Pineapple Tat to Striker Tat,
Pineapple: "What was that wonderful and outrageous move we saw just now?"
Striker Tat: "It was a new move I just invented myself, I called it The "Tat Feint"."
Pineapple: "What exactly is the "Tat Feint"?"
Striker Tat: "It s a fake where when you execute a fantastic move like the bicycle kick, scissor kick or even a diving header, you delibrately let a shoe flew out, fooling the defender into thinking that its the ball, so he would go defend it or clear it. Giving you uninteruppted time to execute a super move."
Pineapple: "I see that is really a magnificent move, out of the world. How long did you take to master it?"
Striker Tat: "I just mastered it."
Pineapple: "Brilliant! Thank you for the interview."
Striker Tat: " My pleasure."
I can smell my sixth hat trick already.......
I have already scored hat-tricks (3 goals) for 4 consecutive games at that place. I am beginning to think that I am Thiery Henry. Tonight I did it again. I scored my fifth hat trick. Everytime before the match, I would tell Mr Buddy I would score a hat trick. Everytime after the match, without fail, I would ask Mr Buddy,
Me: "Eh.... Can I bring the ball home?"
Mr Buddy: "Why lei?"
Me: "Because I scored a hat trick again."
Mr Buddy: "......." -_-"
And without fail, he would always refuse me. Its soccer tradition that the player who scored a hat trick to bring the match ball home. I could already have 5 balls at home.
To cap off my fifth hat trick for my successful career at the Jurong Basketball Stadium. I scored an outrageous goal. It has flair, courage, luck all combined into that one goal. My most memorable one. Here is what happened, commentary by Pineapple Tat....
The defender pumps a long ball up......
Striker Tat chases for the ball....
The opposition defender which is a few paces in front seems more likely to get there first....
The ball took a bounce and it seems like its going out for a goal kick.....
Opposition defender stops to let it go out for a goal kick....
Whats that?! Striker Tat makes a desperate lunge forward.....
Can he get to it??!! Seems impossible.....
Striker Tat left shoe flew out while he makes a super diving header.....
And ITS A GOAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!!!! Striker Tat SCORES with his nose......
Lets see the replay again.....
Oh whats that? While Striker Tat left shoe flew out, the opposition defender actually went to pick it up....
He actually neglected his defensive duties to pick up Striker Tat left shoe......
Was the left shoe a new soccer move?? A new move to fake defenders??........
The opposition players are screwing their defender for making that crucial mistake.....
Striker Tat was delirious and threw his left shoe in the air celebrating......
What a wonderful goal!!!!!.....
Post match interview by Pineapple Tat to Striker Tat,
Pineapple: "What was that wonderful and outrageous move we saw just now?"
Striker Tat: "It was a new move I just invented myself, I called it The "Tat Feint"."
Pineapple: "What exactly is the "Tat Feint"?"
Striker Tat: "It s a fake where when you execute a fantastic move like the bicycle kick, scissor kick or even a diving header, you delibrately let a shoe flew out, fooling the defender into thinking that its the ball, so he would go defend it or clear it. Giving you uninteruppted time to execute a super move."
Pineapple: "I see that is really a magnificent move, out of the world. How long did you take to master it?"
Striker Tat: "I just mastered it."
Pineapple: "Brilliant! Thank you for the interview."
Striker Tat: " My pleasure."
I can smell my sixth hat trick already.......
Friday, June 16, 2006
Close Shave
3 days ago, I was nearly killed by the MRT train doors. I was taking the same train as Ms Kitty at Orchard MRT station. When the train came, everyone rush in and we were the last ones to get up the train. The train was filled to the brim. As I put one foot onto the train, Ms Kitty stop just right in front of the train doors. And then there was a few seconds silence.....
Ms Kitty: "......."
Me: "What are you doing?" (puzzled at why she stopped in front of the doors)
Ms Kitty: "There are so many people." (hesitating not knowing what to do)
I realised that I only had one foot on the train and another foot just outside the train and I am like in between the doors. I was like "just squeeze lah" attitude and there she was standing and wondering what to do. -_-" So to save my life, I grab her by her back and pushed her into the train. Then I jump into the train after her but thats not good enough. Despite I had both feet in the train, I am still in between the doors. Thats how full the train is. I was like "die lah, got to do something quickly".
It seems like I was waiting for the announcement from the friendly train operator to say 'door closing' to tell me this time I am dead by being crushed by the train doors. Not a great way or glorious way to die. Imagine the newspaper reporting "Man got killed by standing in between train doors". How stupid can that be. Miraculously, the crowd start squeezing in to make space for me, I guess they finally realise that I was in great danger.
Then I heard ' door closing' from that robotic emotionless train announcement. When the door closed, it was like 1mm behind me. Then I told Ms Kitty that she nearly got me killed by the train doors and guess what she do, she just laughed. -_-"
Ms Kitty: "......."
Me: "What are you doing?" (puzzled at why she stopped in front of the doors)
Ms Kitty: "There are so many people." (hesitating not knowing what to do)
I realised that I only had one foot on the train and another foot just outside the train and I am like in between the doors. I was like "just squeeze lah" attitude and there she was standing and wondering what to do. -_-" So to save my life, I grab her by her back and pushed her into the train. Then I jump into the train after her but thats not good enough. Despite I had both feet in the train, I am still in between the doors. Thats how full the train is. I was like "die lah, got to do something quickly".
It seems like I was waiting for the announcement from the friendly train operator to say 'door closing' to tell me this time I am dead by being crushed by the train doors. Not a great way or glorious way to die. Imagine the newspaper reporting "Man got killed by standing in between train doors". How stupid can that be. Miraculously, the crowd start squeezing in to make space for me, I guess they finally realise that I was in great danger.
Then I heard ' door closing' from that robotic emotionless train announcement. When the door closed, it was like 1mm behind me. Then I told Ms Kitty that she nearly got me killed by the train doors and guess what she do, she just laughed. -_-"
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