All I want for Christmas is...

This year's Christmas is one of surprises and sharing. I didn't unexpect to receive that many gifts, a tie, a rubber ball, mug, chocolate and more chocolate! I am touched. Looking back at the year. It has been quite eventful. Christmas is such a day that you thought of people you miss, ponder whether you should buy something for someone and also think "hey its gonna be a new year again..."

God has a way of answering our questions and this Christmas, He answered a few of my questions. Christmas is a season of giving, sharing, forgiving and letting go. He made me realised a few things and in that process I was able to let go a few things. Things that has always weigh like a stone in my heart, a baggage called "past" that I have been carrying. All have been let go. Or did I thought I let go? Only time will tell.

Now I can travel lighter on the journey of life. Thank you God for revealing these answers to me and showing me the answers probably at an appropriate time. This year, I have been blessed with good fortune and though its not always smooth, we would not learn anything if everything is too easy.

As I am going to eat, I want to thank God for the food, bless the food and cleanse the food and bless me, my friends and family to have a good day ahead, in Christ name. Amen.

The idiot guide to buying Christmas gifts

1. Buying a female friend an expensive Christmas gift will

a. Make her fall in love with you
b. Totally impress her and score points
c. Freaks her out

If your answer is a,
Did you really think you can buy love??

If you answer b,
Yah, you will score points in the CPL (Carrothead Premier League). Instead of impressing her, she might think you have a motive. Just like why would a guy buy her a drink and why would someone buy her something expensive?

If you got c,
You are right! Don't believe. Imagine a female friend who suddenly buy you a very expensive gift like PS3, how would feel? Well... If your answer is "I would fall in love with her." Then you can stop reading now, if not continue reading.

So how expensive is expensive? As a guide, your budget is something you will usually buy for a normal friend. Why am I writing this? Because I have dumbass friends who against good advice still buy expensive gifts when they claim they have no money.

Men are weak...

True to yourself

Have been thinking... Thinking whether I am too straightforward... Too honest... You must be wondering shouldn't we all be honest?? I always like my buddy's straightforwardness and Rayvin's frankness. When they don't like someone, they tell them, they show it and they screw them. Isn't it great! So you can be sure when they are friends with you, they geniuine like you. When you do something wrong, they will point it out and you can change.

Today a friend was joking, laughing at lunch with me. Suddenly he got serious and advise me as someone who has been through life more than me, that being straightforward is not good, showing your feeling is tantamount to suicide. All these years I have been admiring qualities that don't work?? When you are angry, show it, and don't go to bed mad, stay up and fight kind of thinking. If its war they want, its war they get type of mentality.

Being frank is helping your friends, isn't it? And don't take nonsense from people and people who loses their temper at you now and then through no fault of your own. Shouldn't we just screw them upside down rightside up??

He says not everyone can take jokes and there is the right time for everything and he preach the reasons for being a gentlemen. Somehow he didn't say a lot but what he says really makes me think and ponder and puts me in deep thoughts.

Should I stop joking, stop being honest to people, stop letting people know what they are doing is wrong? He told me I haven't seen the world yet. When I have seen it, then I can tell him how it really looks like.

I appreciate his advises because he was being honest with me which its a quality I admired. I don't really know him, probably that was one of his honest moments and for the rest of the time he say he was acting. Actually I am also dishonest, I am quite dishonest towards my own feelings.

When I was in sales, I had a team leader who told me I have a weakness and that is if I don't like someone, it can be spotted easily. Its a weakness? Oh! I hope the person that I don't like knows and don't come near me. Isn't it wonderful! Wooo.....

After so many years of following this belief, then some people come to you to tell you its wrong. Of course you should stop and think whether its true when its more than 1 person saying it. I believe in being open-minded too, thats why I took my friend's advice seriously. Always improve yourself.

I am not sure whether I should follow the advice but for now what I am sure is that, ask me for my opinion and I will tell you the truth, piss me off and I will show you my displeasure, do me wrong and I will screw you! HAHA!!!

Must be quite late.... Because I am writing nonsense....

Man......

Man is illogical....

Marching along Orchard Road looking for that elusive gift, it was people mountain people sea. Swimming in the crowd, Mr Hans had no idea what he wants to buy for that girl.

Me: "Why are you buying her a gift when you think its impossible between the both of you?"
Mr Hans: "I just want to thank her for bringing me to church."
Me: "When you are not going to join??"
Me: "You are just using Christmas as an excuse to buy her something."
Mr Hans: "Yah..."

To me, it seems like he is buying a goodbye gift for her. In the end, he only bought a Christmas card and will continue to search for "The Gift". He is giving up on the courtship because he felt it was going no where yet he still wants to buy present for her. Why? To make himself feel better??

Man is emotional.....

I have a friend who constantly has relationship problems. He always seems to meet the wrong girl. The girls he met is always full of drama and stunts. In every relationship, he always put in his best. He just broke up with his girlfriend. I don't know if its confirm this time. Because they break patch break patch break patch break patch.... But this time he seems really down. God bless him.

Man is wierd.......

A friend is constantly looking for love. I told him to get his life in order which is more important as he is young. Midway in the conversation, he told me he is sorry that he has a sudden change in mood. I told him not to be apolegetic, as the person he is sorry to is himself, as whatever mistakes he had done he is ultimately responsible for it. Suddenly he gave me a prophetic vision...

The prophet: "Tat oh man, you are exactly the same. Like the guy I knew that stumble me. Be careful as a friend. I warn you to use words carefully for you are given a gift. A gift that affects many people. If you are not careful, many people will fall. Time will show you."
The prophet: "Never ask someone to say sorry to himself, go think about it."
Me: "..... -_-" I don't understand."
The prophet: "Nah you will. Time will teach you. I can't. There is a time for it."

Suddenly I feel like I am the most dangerous person in the world like Mao Zedong or Hitler. That my words can sway a million people to go to war. I apologise if I might have upset you. I believe if encouragement and coaxing doesn't work, tough love should be use.

Man is illogical, emotional and wierd.... just like women......

A Man's Dating Life Cycle

Basically this is a A Man's Dating Life Cycle:

Stage 1 - 10 to 60 years old
You did not see wrongly. From the day you start surfing porn sites or read men's magazines, your dating career has started. Boys and men are always looking for girlfriends, no matter how much they deny it.
You must be asking, "why until 60 years old?" Because a man's sperm is active until 60 years old.

Ok end of analysis.... (WHAT!!! Thats all??? Please share with us mortals more)

Okok... I have some friends who are pretty good with girls while some are not so good. So I will share with you the many different school of thoughts from my friends.

1. An NTU Engineering student, 24
"I believe in using sincerity to touch her heart and being nice to her. I don't believe in using those tricks like all those bad boys."

My comment: This is the oldest school of thought. The "traditional" way of courtship. Being nice and gentleman to the girl is of utmost importance. Buying flowers, treating her to movies and dinner are the ways to win her heart. In my opinion, this is the hardest way to win a girl's heart because you are making things difficult for yourself. A girl once in "courtship" mode, will do all kinds of stunts to test your sincerity. Which includes whether you rememeber the little details about her, how much effort you put into her birthday and how you handle her tantrums etc. You will regret the day you declare to court her. But on a positive note, you will be glad its not in the olden times, if not you are required to slay dragons or save her from some evil knight. Now you only need to buy her flowers.

Recommended: To guys who love a challenge and guys who believe that you can bribe a girl to like you and especially to those who like to torture themselves. If you are not any of these 3, don't use it.

2. Recently employed, 24, and Long lost hockey teammate, 24
"I read all those tips and tricks from books and websites. They are pretty useful in my successes with girls."

Comment: Seriously I have never met one guy who told me they read this and that and they are super successful. The most is I met guys who claim they are successful but I can never vouch for that. They are only claims. Reading these range from remembering scripts and learning theories to familiarising with the principles. Sounds like studying to me. I have a close female friend who was a attempted target for my hockey teammate who read these. She told me she found him wierd.

Recommended: Reading about things that help you in life, why not, go ahead and read it, if it really helps you. But no matter how much you read, it won't help unless you have the right attitude. Recommended for people who wants to improve their dating life but not people with twisted mind. With great powers come greater responsibilities.

3. An SAF regular, 24 and My "I can't made up my mind" buddy, 24
"Must be daring and bold in doing things and nice to her at the right time."

Comment: I will elaborate more on that statement. These people are bold whether in asking a girl out or doing something that might risk making the girl angry. They believe in treating girls nice but will not compromise to the extent of making themselves look weak. The most balanced school of thought in my opinion. You are nice and have self-respect and won't take nonsenses from people. Nice...

Recommended: In fact everyone. But the most difficult to achieve because not everyone is bold naturally and a lot of guys attached a lot of value to the girl they like. As I say its all about attitude, attitude and attitude.

Disclaimer
I will not be liable for any heartbreaks which results from the use of these 3 school of thoughts' methods of courtship. Whether you are the one who uses it or it is being used on you.


If you have any other school of thoughts and would to share with the millions and millions of my fans around the world, please drop me a mail or tag. Many people are waiting for YOU to help them.


If any of you would like to study in 1 of the 3 schools, namely School 1 (the classic way) which earns you a diploma, School 2 (the scientific way) which earns you a Bachelor of Science and School 3 (the attitude way) which earns you the Bachelor of Arts. Please contact me and I will arrange for you to meet any of my distinguished lecturer friends. A small agent fee applies.


For the next issue, maybe I will write more on School 1, the classical way of courting your death, sorry I meant courtship. Typo....

A Woman's Dating Life Cycle

As you grow older, you realise girls around you get more nervous. Not that it is any concern to me, as girls are always nervous around me. They are nervous because they are STILL not married! Guys don't worry, we have a dating life span 10 years more than women. A 40 year old man can still date a 25 year old woman, just look at Jack Nicholason, he is 60 plus (or is it 70?), and he dates women much younger than him (ok you are not Jack Nicholason but you get my point). Whats more, you are given the honour of "eligible bachelor" when you are old and single, while women are called "spinster" (what has old and single women to do with spinning, I do not understand).

I shall enlighten my readers what a typical female dating life cycle looks like:

Stage 1 - 13 to 18 years old (experimenting stage)
At this stage, they don't really know what they want, they might have a rough idea of what kind of a boyfriend they want but usually its only an idea. So at this stage, they don't really care how much money you have, they just have to think you are cute or handsome. Best is to add in a tough guy image but have a soft heart inside kind. Examples are my cousins. They have double digits number of boyfriends, probably have hit the 20 mark and had drain them of all their resources (read carrotheads). To further prove my theory, their boyfriends are the following, jobless, students, wanderer, chiongster, ah-bengs and etc.

Stage 2 - 18 to 25 years (seriously looking)
As I say, since they have a shorter dating life span, they will be tired of experimenting with all the wrong guys, the jerks, assholes and playboys (curiously some take a longer time to learn). At this stage they would already be looking for "The One". They will have all these illusions about "The One". The younger they are at this stage, the more illusions they have. At this stage, they are at the peak of their lives. They probably have a few suitors or a dozens, depending on how many stupid men they know. With so many choices and so little time, they will divide men into 2 groups, forever friends and frogs that might become a Prince. Guys, I can hear you protesting how come all of you are frogs?! Let me ask you this (only for those who have gf b4), when you have a gf, did they ever try to change you? Touch your heart and answer me. Of course they did! Thats why you are a FROG and they kiss a frog in the hope they become a prince and some even get married. This is also the stage where they always play hard to get because they have so much time (its an illusion). They want to take their time to choose.

Stage 3 - 25 to 30 years old (expiring)
By this time, you should have a boyfriend. If you don't have, you should start panicking. At this moment, you might regret why didn't you reciprocate that guy's affection, and now he is happily married. How could you have miss such a good catch?! What were you thinking? And suddenly, you realise all the good men are either attached or married. You now know that those nice and boring men, are really the ONES you want. They are nice, sensitive, put your needs first, listens to you and endure your nonsenses (mood swings). Worse, you have to compete with younger women for men's attention. Now at this stage, your options are more open (desperate), the older you get the more open your options are.


I would really love to draw a graph and even use game theory to analyse these stages with you but due to limitations of this blog, I couldn't illustrate to you these.

For more advices and enquiries, please drop me a msg on msn.

For the next coming issue, I will analyse with you A Man's Dating Life Cycle.

Waiting for you

We were eating lunch together, then she told me she would wait for that guy until next year June. I look on nonchalantly eating my food. I was actually surprised that she told me this. She actually wanted to wait forever, even if nothing comes out of it.

Her best friend told her it was foolish to do so, what if she waited for 10 years and he got married or someone better came along, is she going to give it up? She would be foolish to waste her time and life. She looked at me, and asked what I think. I looked away and answered, that she should wait as long as she like.....

I lied.... I don't believe in waiting for someone because if something is not going to work out, it won't and waiting doesn't help. I told her that the person she is waiting for is her husband, so its worth waiting. Not long ago, she told me she was getting a divorce and she is enjoying singlehood. We would always talk about the merits of being single, like how we were not obliged to go to our partner's house even though we would love to stay at home and no need to report about what we are doing.

I told her I am also waiting for something....Waiting for my guilt to be overcome. I am waiting for my ex-girlfriend to find a boyfriend first before I move on. She told me I was foolish to do that but hey, who wanted to actually wait for someone forever??

Anyway the trend for me seem to be that after a relationship, I would take at least a year to bounce back. I thought about her next June deadline for waiting. That seem like a long time. As to why I lied about my opinion, it was for a selfish reason....

Pieces

As I lie on my hospital bed, looking up at the ceiling fan spinning, memories flash past my mind. I saw her petite figure standing and leaning against the glass panel on the train. I thought to myself, what if I had not pretend not to hear what she said that day on the train, would things be different? She said those words,

Her: "I would be sad if I didn't see you tomorrow."
Me: "Huh? What did you say? I didn't heard what you say..."
Her: "Nothing." (shaking her head and then looking sideways)

I came back to reality, then my vision blurred and another image appeared, I was at the traffic lights waiting to cross the road and it was an afternoon. I made a call to a girl,

Me: "Hello."
Her: "Hello." (a sleepy voice)
Me: "You just woke up?"
Her: "Yah... Slept quite late last night because I was at a chalet."
Me: "Orh... Erm... Sorry about that night that I got drunk."
Her: "Its ok..."
Me: "What happened? Because I can't remember."
Her: "I don't want to talk about it."

If I had not pretend to forget about what happened that night. Would things be different?

Slowly everything changes and I was at an underpass. A girl was wearing purple clothes, she took off her sandals because she has injured her foot and walk barefooted beside me giggling and I was laughing.

Me: "Wah lau eh.... Its embarassing lei to do that in public."
Her: "Hehe.... Never mind lah."

Would things be different if she doesn't have a boyfriend?

Then I found myself at a cafe and a fair girl in white top sat opposite of me. She was eating vegetable spaghetti and she told me,

Her: "Take some more lah." (smiling)
Me: "Orh... Ok." (obliging and eating the spaghetti)
Her: "Hahahaha." (suddenly laughing)
Me: "What is so funny?" (very puzzled)
Her: "Nothing." (shaking her head like a little girl and still laughing)
Me: "Huh?"

As we walk back from lunch, we were both laughing very hard at something until my stomach hurts. It was happy and fun. Would things be different if she wasn't married before?

I was lying on my right side on the bed and I was woken up by a soft kiss to my lips. I slowly open my eyes and saw a girl wearing black and hair tied back, standing up from a kneeing position beside my bed. It was a familiar figure,

Me: "Are you going to work?" (sleepy voice)
Her: "Yah... You continue to sleep some more lah." (her beautiful face smiling)
Me: "I want another kiss." (smiling)

Would things be different if we were still together?

Mr Wall, my campmate, confidante and friend's image then appeared in front of me. He said,

Mr Wall: "Do you want to be lying on the hospital bed when you are old and think what could have happened? People think they have a lot of time but before you know you are already old and fragile."

I looked at the computer screen and thought about what he said yesterday.......

Pictures of Your Object of Desire

Just now a friend sent me a photo of his object of affection through msn. While I was looking at it using the Windows Picture and Fax viewer, I realise that I have some pictures of my friends' objects of desire while scrolling. Come to think of it, my friends sometimes send me pictures of girls they like.

Ironically I do not have any photos of girls that I like, instead I have photos of girls that my friends like. I wonder how they got their photos, they are not photos that they took with them but photos of the girl alone or with someone else. I even saw one which is a IC photo!

While I only have my memory, they can take out the photo to admire when they don't see them. Seriously how did you all get the photos ah?? Because I never thought of asking for photos or even taking them from friends.

Strange isn't it.....

The stories of a glass heart and a fence

Someone once described a person's heart as a glass. When it is broken the first time, it breaks into a few pieces, then someone comes along and stick it back. The second time it breaks and yet again, someone tries to mend it back. Though they try to fix it back as well as they could, the cracks/scars still can be seen. Each time it breaks, it breaks into smaller pieces and when mended beack, more and more lines/scars can be seen. This glass can never be perfect again...

---- Extract from Rayvin's blog

Once I read a story about a father who told his son who had a bad temper,

"Son, for eveytime you get angry and loses your temper on someone, I want you to hit a nail into the fence in front of our house."

He followed his father's instruction and hit a nail into the fence everytime he got angry with someone. Soon the fence was full of nails. Then the father told the son,

"Now I also want you to extract a nail from the fence everytime you do something good for someone."

The son obeyed his father's instruction and soon find it an achievement to be extracting out the nails one by one. Soon all the nails on the fence are extracted out. The son was happy and ran to his father,

"Father, father, all the nails from the fence are gone!"

Smiling at his son, the father followed his son to look at the fence and asked him,

"Do you see those holes on the fence?" The son replied, "Yes father."
"Eveytime you lose your temper on someone, its like hitting a nail into a person's heart, you may have extracted the nails out but the holes will always be there and can never be mend."

To me, it implies the consequences of hurting someone and also being hurt yourself. I think through what I did before and I am sorry.... Feeling remorseful these few days... God please forgive me and people please forgive me....

Looking Forward to Something Everyday

Have you ever had the feeling of looking forward to something? A big football game, meeting with old friends or a birthday party are occasional events. What I meant is the everyday thing. What I look forward to everyday is lunch. Not because of food but because I look forward to eating with a girl. I enjoy having lunch with her because everytime we would have funny things to talk about and something hilarious to laugh at. It was fun just being with her and I enjoy her company. Lunch is always happy.

Not too long ago, I remember that I used to look forward to lunch with another girl, we would always engage in bantering. Then when lunch came, we would go to explore various places to have lunch, we once walk from Raffles Place to as far as Tanjong Pagar to have lunch. She was what I looked forward to lunch. I enjoy her company alot. Then she left....

A few years ago, I used to looked forward to PE in school because I will get to see my ex-girlfriend then who at that time is still not my girlfriend. We were from different classes so PE is a great opportunity for me to see her and converse with her. One day, she changed PE class, of course I was disappointed. At that time, I thought maybe thats it, we won't see each other again. But luck has it, that we share common friends, so I would have an excuse to keep in contact with her.

Things are a bit different now. I don't know its my ego or my pride (are they the same?) or I am just lazy. I just find no reason nor strength to keep in contact with people whom I really enjoy their company, after they have left.

Anyway I don't look forward to lunch anymore because she has left too......

Hello Kitty (Part 1)

When I first saw her, the first thing I said to her was,

Me: "So you were the one who anyhow throw my apps??" (smile)
Ms Kitty: "Huh?" (giving me a blank look)
Me: "Those (credit card)applications that were pass to me by my part timers that Saturday."
Ms Kitty: "Orh..." (smiling with no remorse at all, those are $$ you know) -_-"

It was a simple introduction, a beautiful smile and I could remember it clearly that was in June. She was the customer service officer(CSO) then taking care of the credit card retail hub and I the Sales Officer.

The second time I saw her at the same place, brochures littered around the floor and she was picking them up and I said,

Me: "You look helpless, do you need my help?"
Ms Kitty: "Hahahaha.... Ok." (laughing)

She has a demure and girlish appearance, slim with long hair. When she goes for lunch, I would mann the retail hub for her and everytime something wrong would happen, printer spoil, fax machine not working, photocopying of vouchers not done properly etc.... And then she is the kind that panics easily. -_-" Everytime we will find it funny to laugh at and we would accuse each other of being the jinx.

For weeks, we would often see each other a few times at the same place.....

Credit Card, Dream Girl and Lily

Me: "Do you accept NETS?
Indian Waiter: "Erm... what is NETS??" (looking stumped with an Indian accent)
Me: "You know NETS??" (givng him a look of hint and as if repeating the word NETS would enlighten him)
Indian Waiter: "........." (an even stumpier look)

Ms Lily looking at the Indian waiter, thought that he might not be able to comprehend what is NETS until the end of the world, then took her OCBC Titanium Card (the power to take control) and save him. Curiously he knows what is a credit card but not NETS!? I mean who doesn't use NETS??

This time a waitress came back with our bill. I can see the waitress is a smart girl because she puts the bill in front of me expecting me to sign. I will be very rich in the future but not now, at least not in the restaurant at that moment. She spot the potential in me.

Me: "The card is hers." (refering to Ms Lily)
Ms Lily: "Does his name sounds like Ms Lily." (gigiling)
Filipino Waitress: "Usually its the young guy who pays." (talking with an Filipino accent and smiling)
Me: "She is paying for me." (looking proud about it)
Me: "I am a lucky man." :)
Ms Lily laughing......

We then went to NATAS because my manager was there, so we went to visit his booth and she wanted to see some travel brochures. Then I spotted my dream girl..... the Titanium girl..... the cover girl on the Rewards Catalogue..... the girl that I always see on my desk in the morning. She was wearing a red rimmed spec, haiz... very auntie. She ask me to buy some milk from her but I rejected her... Sorry I won't buy them just because you are my dream girl... (strong will power)

Later we went Orchard for shopping and I got myself a pair of Geox shoes. With their shoe technology, they promise that by wearing them, your feet will feel cool because of all those holes under the sole. If you are thinking about water seeping in, its not possible because of osmosis. Sounds good to me so I bought them at a not so low price. So it better work, if not I will burn down the shop.

Oh yah by the way Ms Lily make me help her take 2 bags of Nescafe, some travel brochures and an ugly bag to walk around Orchard. I have no choice because she buys me lunch, treats me in office, promise to buy me a cup and give me sweets. People I would love to write more but Ms Lily will be reading this and then she would start throwing ...... erm..... mooncakes at me?

3 Little Wolves

I once had lunch with 3 male colleagues who are the Ah-Beng types. We were having tea at Lucky Plaza (not very glamourous I know) and then they were conversing in Hokkien. I know nuts about the language so all I could do was listen. They suddenly talk about women's breasts. I don't know how their conversation come down to that but then I wasn't going to shut my ears. Haha....

They were actually commenting on their female colleagues' breasts. I was like -_-" amused cos I didnt know they had such interesting perspective. The whole conversation was in Hokkien, I try my best to interpret la, it goes something like this,

ColourWolf1: " Hey, did you know I saw her outside and her breasts was like...... (fill in yourself and he was doing some motion signifying fullness) You see her in uniform and its like nothing but you see her in outside clothes, it looks really different."
ColourWolf2: "Really ah?! (eyes bulging) Didn't know that.... (conversation continues but cant remember abt wat, probably speculating abt size this time)

Colourwolf2: "Did you all know that Ms D has big boobs?!"
Colourwolf1:"Ya... I was walking past her and she was bending down when I saw it!
Colourwolf3:"Thats why you walk past her a few times right?"
Everyone: "HAHAHAHAHA!"
Colourwolf2:"I saw it before too!
Colourwolf1:"I think it must be at least a D cup!" (shaking his head and showing hand motion again)
Colourwolf2:"Ya I think so too..."(nodding in agreement and agreeing in a way that as if he came to a conclusion that the world must be round)

Colourwolf1:"You know Ms A right, she is pretty but her boobs are small. (shaking his head but this time no hand motion or exclaimation mark)
Colourwolf2:"Ya pretty but too bad too small. (no eyes bulging this time)

The above conversation is fragmented and who say what is recount to the best of my memory. I find the following parties:

Colourwolf1 - Most guilty because he initiated most of the topics and shall be sentenced to keep away from women for some time and think about his life.
Colourwolf2 - Accomplice and second guiltiest (I am not sure there is such a word). He is sentenced to find a girlfriend immediately and get a life!
Colourwolf3 - Least guilty because he did participate but I can't recall what he say. You are heng...
Me - Totally innocent because I can't speak Hokkien.

So women now you know your male colleagues are wolves in sheeps' clothings. So I suggest you 1. actually wear something modest 2. Don't bend down unnecessarily or 3. Don't work with men....

Lousy 2 Weeks

It has been a lousy past 2 weeks for me. Mark by tiredness, stress, low morale, uncertainty, bad luck and lack of support. Sometimes I just want to give up and throw in the towel. Never felt like that before, at least not that I can remember.

Sometimes people ask me, "How come you are not panicking, I am already panicking?"
I replied, "I am actually panicking but I just don't show it."

When I was younger and not too long ago, I am an emotionally direct person. When I am angry, I will show my anger, when I am unhappy, I will show my unhappiness, when I dislike what the person is doing, I will screw him upside down.

For these past few months, seem like I have changed. More nice, more humble, more cool, more patient, less carefree and showing less of my emotions. Guess that the environment really can change someone.

I always remember the advices my mentor gave me and I have always live by it:

1. Got mouth can ask right.
2. Must be resourceful.
3. Must be nice to people.
4. Must always cover yourself.
5. Some people are not worth helping.

So far these advices have been useful. Hope it will be a better week ahead....

The More I Love You, The More I Avoid You

I just read a friend's blog, he wrote this:

"Yue Shi Ai Ni Yue Xiang Duo Ni.. Yue Shi Duo Ni Yue Xiang Ai Ni" -
The more I love you, the more I try to avoid you and the more I avoid you, the more I love you

Its logically stupid to avoid someone that you like, and when you like someone you would want to spend more time with her right? So I look at it and think and wonder...... Am I guilty of this stupidity??

And so I ask Wei Tat, "Wei Tat, why would you avoid a girl?"

And Wei Tat answered: "Because I know I would fall deeply in love with her when I see her more... I cant let myself love her because 1) She is married 2) She is attached 3) We are worlds apart 4) I cant bring her happiness 5) I cant let go of my past and all kinds of drama reasons.

You then dont see her for some time, maybe for months, then you thought you have gotten over her. You assume she is happy, she already has a boyfriend, she has many suitors and whatever stories you can cook up. Satisfied with the stories you cooked up, one day you decide to meet up with her believing both of you are just friends. Both of you met up, you look at her, she look at you, the past suddenly all came back to you, your mind gets mess up, you become confused, you try to reason the quick heartbeat, the nervousness and warm feelings you experience when you see her. You had lunch and before you know it, you have to recook the stories again, reavoid her, return to the same process again.

I so ask, "Wei Tat, Wei Tat, how do I solve this problem??"
Wei Tat, "Dont have lunch with her. I repeat one more time, dont have lunch with her. Ok for those who did not get it, one more time, dont have lunch with her, very important guys, very important... Dont have lunch with her. Ok? One more time and I will only say it one more time, dont have lunch with her."

(I ACTUALLY have a lecturer like this.... He is not tired of repeating but I am tired of typing.)

Ya... very tired.....

Timeline

Yesterday at work, my partner turn to me and told me that I need to give her a timeline of when I am going to launch the website. I look at her and while she was explaining and talking about what are the things we are going to do for the offers, I realised timeline means deadline. I have never known this word "deadline" nor "timeline" cos I have never met any of them before.

In school, I usually pass up my homework late or never do them at all or do them last minute. This time its real, this deadline is different from those that teachers give you. At least if you dont pass up your homework, you just get scolded by your teacher or they forgot about it. In the real world, deadline means you have to deliver by the stipulated time. You tell everyone about what you are going to do and when its going to start operating and you have to deliver because you have promised.

By the way my partner is a nice lady but tempermental, I must deliver if not she will throw the flyers and brochures on her table at me and maybe even the rewards catalogue.

Now I need 3 things : God, resourcefulness and luck.

Photoshoot

Last week I went to my first photoshoot. I saw models and they really look glam. They are really different from the pretty girls you saw on the streets. They are really tall (must be the heels) and its amazing they can smile at will. Pose all kinds of pose and still look glam. Wow.....

I was suppose to be part of the background posing as a photographer. There were also other photographers, of course they were also actors or rather props which they call us, or another term is extras. I didn't know a photoshoot took a lot of time. You just keep posing the same position again and again. And if you did not get a desirable position or a comfortable one, it could be quite tiring. I was lucky, I got to sit down.

The most tiring people must be the models. They have to keep smiling, look good and withstand the glare and heat of the lights and continue posing different posers. Its refreshing and fun for the first 5 minutes cos its something new.

No wonder models earn so much.

Meeting

I was asked to attend a meeting together with my manager this Tuesday afternoon. I saw some people in the conference room and asked them whether they are here for the meeting. I don't really know where they were from. I chat with them and soon found out what they do. They were from another company.

Suddenly one guy came in, I have seen him in office before but do not know exactly what he does, then everyone in the room stands up. I was like still sitting down. Feeling strange, I stand up too. I was thinking he must be some big shot. Then he told me its ok to sit down. But when I sit down, everyone is still standing up, so I stood up again. Then he told me again its ok to sit down, so I sit down again. This time everyone sits down too. And I still have no idea who he is.

As more and more people came in, I realised I only know my manager and my Head of Marketing. Everyone looks older than me and they all look like some big big shots. Its difficult not to be a big shot when you are at the bottom of the hierachy. The meeting was pretty interesting, learn some things although some parts was pretty technical.

Yesterday, I look through the name cards that I exchange with those guys from the other company before the meeting. I am suppose to meet one of them today for some training. And I just realised that they were all managers and one of them is actually the CEO! I actually went to the toilet with this CEO without realising it, he was very friendly and asked me about my job. That day in the conference room, everyone was like manager and above.

Oh yah, one of the managers there is pretty cute. :) Maybe I will see her today. Hee....

Furla

I had a surprise waiting for me on Tuesday morning. As usual, I woke up at 7, go back to sleep again and let the snozzle ring for like 5 times before I reluctantly woke up at 7.45. My snozzle is set 9 minutes apart, so its like I woke up at 7, sleep back, woke up at 7.09 then sleep back again. You get the idea. Its my routine. Can't seem to beat the sleeping monster. Took 15 minutes to prepare and then went out.

While going to the bus stop, my manager sms me to go on his behalf to the Furla launch at Ngee Ann City. I was like huh? Its so last minute but then its good to see how a launch looks like. I was imagining there would be models holding Furla bags walking on the catwalk in a hall kind of thing. I rush to my workplace at Raffles Place then took a taxi down to Ngee Ann City.

When I reached there, I saw a buffett set up outside the Furla store with many people mingling around. I looked around, no models! Just lots of people whom I don't know. My first thought was what am I suppose to do?! Well.... I did saw 2 colleagues from merchant sales, 1 is the Head the other our OCBC model. I just looked and smile at them cos I dont really know them. So I just look around the store, admiring the leather handbags, watches, accessories which ONLY women can use them.

I thought to myself maybe I will wonder around for another 15 minutes before leaving. But luckily my manager did come afterall together with another colleague, I also saw my Head there. He told me usually this kind of launch is for people to mingle around. He say I should absolutely need to try the food here, things like cavier which you dont get to eat often and some meat wrap in cucumber. After trying those food, I still prefer my bee hoon with egg and laucheon meat with tomato sauce.

Kit Chan was there too, Xiangyun and Kok Cheng Mun. Kok Cheng Mun look really different, she now spots a short hair cut and look like a upper social class person. Oh yah when I went there, I was like folding up my sleeves to my elbow and wearing my OCBC lanyard tuck in my front pocket. I actually wanted to wear a tie but my colleague in office told me not to. Everyone there was quite classy, wearing long sleeves or coat.

I guess next time I will just wear more formal just in case. Overdress is better than underdress.