The Pineapple Times

I have decided to start my own newspaper, its obviously called "The Pineapple Times" since its the first edition, you can read it for free, I think I will start selling the second edition. Read the sections that you are interested, it will help you in your life... Really...


The Pineapple Times

Money Matters
I finally mailed my insurance application today, finally opened an online trading account with DBS Vickers and finally I am going to get rich.....

According to Mr Fly (long long time never wrote about him) Now the stock market is displaying Double 'M' Top or Double Top 'M', whichever it is, it means the market is going to slide further.

As much as you think I am going to give you some tips on stocks, I am going to tell you what a taxi driver tell me about stocks. He said and prophesize that economy goes into decline every 12 years, especially in the Year of the Tiger, he gave some examples like 1978/79, 1998/99 and the next one will be 2009/10. However if you notice, some of the maths don't seem to quite add up. Anyway something money related is that every time when it is the Year of the Rat, there will be heavy flooding. (water = money)

In case you wonder how come the taxi uncle still drives taxi, I suspect its his hobby, if not he must really not like money...

Correspondent: Pineapple Tat


Women Weekly
As I spoke to my lecturer (obviously a woman) about this guy leaving his job, the first thing she said, "He must have been sacked!" Obviously she knows and detest this man and then she told me...

Lecturer: "Bad guys will always get sacked."
Pineapple Tat: "But they always climbed very high." (in the corporate world)
Lecturer: "Yes but they will get sacked one day."
Pineapple Tat: "Really?"
And then she rest her hand on my shoulder and reassured me,
Lecturer: "Yes... Trust me... They will get sacked one day."

And then another woman told me about this wicked man whom she describe as having amnesia and forgot about what he said that he will support her on. I am not sure if he really deserved it but...

She exclaimed: "He is really a wicked man, he will become an ant in his next life!"

In case you think that Women Weekly is going to teach you about how to get free sex or court girls... Nope... Its about how women curse men weekly...

So bad and wicked people will get sacked and become an ant in their next life...

Correspondent: Pineapple Tat


My Space
I was sitting in a huge glass cube at this meeting where there were 2 men in front of me discussing about something. However all I could pick out was portal, COTU and Aria. I suspect that they are not speaking English and I am very sure they are talking about teleporting a secret weapon to destroy another planet. And then I realised they had pointed ears. And then I realised I must be in the wrong galaxy and then I kept pressing my watch trying to beam myself away from that glass cube, back to my Pineapple Starship...

Next time when you are stuck in the wrong galaxy, just say that you need to refill the urinal so that it can start flushing again. Ok I know... Crap...

Correspondent: Pineapple Tat

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