The Singh that I met at the traffic junction near my office told me that December will be a lucky month for me. He said 3 lucky things will happen to me...
One. I lost my transponder (a device to open my office door), I thought I have to pay S$50 for losing it. I found out I only need to pay S$38.
Two. I was holding a hot water flask vertically, the bottom gave way. The whole glass interior drop onto the floor, the glass shattered , splittering on the floor like glittering stars. Luckily I only got scalded at my armpit. Later I realised I cut my big toe too.
Three. I have been awarded 2 days MC for the past 2 consecutive weeks. Which means I have been working for only half a week for the past 2 weeks. And I am still sick.
Well I am not sure what are the 3 lucky things that is suppose to happen to me in December. But I definitely know one unlucky thing will definitely happen to him when I see him again... That is a punch in his face...
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Some thoughts
I was standing beside Mr Chat at the urinal when we started to chat (urine still flowing). Now you know how all those toilet chat came about. I asked him: "Will you miss this place?" Mr Chat: "No of course not..." It was his second last day with the company and he looks happy like a bird set free...
I remember when I came here the first time, my table was dusty, my email was not up, my namecards were not ready. My office common cubicle has 5 people in it. 1 in each corner, Mr Chat, Mr Superman, Ms Fan and me. Mr USA the temp staff sat in the middle table. I treat them like my imaginary team. We were the SPCA, specially protected by my boss.
In my team, Mr Chat is my transport guide, he will always provide me with directions. Mr Superman is my IT helpdesk, he guides me on how to read the system, Mr USA is my editor, he reads my email and edit it before I send it out. As for Ms Fan, I just pretend she is my secretary.
Ms Fan left after 1 month I was here. We took a team photo. It was a happy moment and I happen to be wearing a tie. Ms Fan looks very happy. Mr Chat left 2 months after I was here, this time we didn't took any photos, didn't have any lunch, and I didn't get to tell him to remember to be successful when he goes out. He left just like that...
Going back to the toilet conversation (urine still flowing into the urinal) I said to Mr Chat: "Well... You will miss this place when you leave." After a short silence, I said: "I miss OCBC..."
I remember when I came here the first time, my table was dusty, my email was not up, my namecards were not ready. My office common cubicle has 5 people in it. 1 in each corner, Mr Chat, Mr Superman, Ms Fan and me. Mr USA the temp staff sat in the middle table. I treat them like my imaginary team. We were the SPCA, specially protected by my boss.
In my team, Mr Chat is my transport guide, he will always provide me with directions. Mr Superman is my IT helpdesk, he guides me on how to read the system, Mr USA is my editor, he reads my email and edit it before I send it out. As for Ms Fan, I just pretend she is my secretary.
Ms Fan left after 1 month I was here. We took a team photo. It was a happy moment and I happen to be wearing a tie. Ms Fan looks very happy. Mr Chat left 2 months after I was here, this time we didn't took any photos, didn't have any lunch, and I didn't get to tell him to remember to be successful when he goes out. He left just like that...
Going back to the toilet conversation (urine still flowing into the urinal) I said to Mr Chat: "Well... You will miss this place when you leave." After a short silence, I said: "I miss OCBC..."
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Strange Encounters
"You got a very lucky face."
A towering Singh with a yellow turban said to me when I was waiting to cross the road at Tanjong Pagar. On his yellow turban is an emblem which I did not see clearly.
"Sorry huh..." I said and looking puzzled.
"You got a very lucky face." The Singh said again.
"December will be very lucky to you and 3 happy things will happen." Said the Singh
"Oh......" At that moment I was freak out.
"What is your name?" Said the Singh
"Wei Tat." I said. Unsure that I should tell him at all. I wanted bullshit an English name like Peter or Jackson.
Then he took out a yellow namecard that is laminated. On top it wrote "God loves you" and his name "Raja". There were other words but I was too freak out to read. He said something which I can't remember and I told him that I am in a rush and return him the namecard and he just said "ok". To my surprise he is not persistent. I just cross the road and walk away from him.
The second encounter was with a woman while I was sitting in the train going home. She was sitting beside me and she suddenly spoke to me.
Woman: "You have a nice bag, where did you buy it?"
Pineapple Tat: "I bought it from Metro."
Woman: "What brand is this?"
Pineapple Tat: "FX Creation."
Woman: "How much is it?"
Pineapple Tat: "I can't really remember..."
Then she start having a conversation with me about her son's bag being too heavy and she wants to buy a lighter one. Suddenly she start molesting my bag by poking it, feeling the material and pinching to feel its softness. My bag was humiliated just like that.
In a third encounter, I was in the train going home with Ms K and Ms Piggy. After they alighted, 2 men nearby suddenly start talking to me. They say I look very familiar. They have seen me somewhere before. However both of them came from Malaysia, and I can't recall seeing both of them before. Upon realising that we don't know each other. They still kept talking to me, what is most suspicious about them is that they kept asking about my occupation and my life. They seem really interested in me and one guy even shake hand with me and introduce himself. In an instance reaction, when the train reach Lakeside, I got down, one stop before Boon Lay where I alight to go home. I just told them I am alighting and then left. In the end I walked and took a bus home.
When I was selling credit cards part time, sometimes I would try to look grumpy and lean on the underpass wall of a credit card hub at Orchard MRT. However and strangely people will still ask me for directions. I mean I try to look grumpy so that nobody will ask me anything, can't these people read body language?!
You know what I conclude from these incidents - That I have a handsome face. Even the Singh thinks so. He said "You have a very lucky face." Just tell me, "You have a very handsome face." I will understand it just as well. No wonder strangers keep talking to me...
A towering Singh with a yellow turban said to me when I was waiting to cross the road at Tanjong Pagar. On his yellow turban is an emblem which I did not see clearly.
"Sorry huh..." I said and looking puzzled.
"You got a very lucky face." The Singh said again.
"December will be very lucky to you and 3 happy things will happen." Said the Singh
"Oh......" At that moment I was freak out.
"What is your name?" Said the Singh
"Wei Tat." I said. Unsure that I should tell him at all. I wanted bullshit an English name like Peter or Jackson.
Then he took out a yellow namecard that is laminated. On top it wrote "God loves you" and his name "Raja". There were other words but I was too freak out to read. He said something which I can't remember and I told him that I am in a rush and return him the namecard and he just said "ok". To my surprise he is not persistent. I just cross the road and walk away from him.
The second encounter was with a woman while I was sitting in the train going home. She was sitting beside me and she suddenly spoke to me.
Woman: "You have a nice bag, where did you buy it?"
Pineapple Tat: "I bought it from Metro."
Woman: "What brand is this?"
Pineapple Tat: "FX Creation."
Woman: "How much is it?"
Pineapple Tat: "I can't really remember..."
Then she start having a conversation with me about her son's bag being too heavy and she wants to buy a lighter one. Suddenly she start molesting my bag by poking it, feeling the material and pinching to feel its softness. My bag was humiliated just like that.
In a third encounter, I was in the train going home with Ms K and Ms Piggy. After they alighted, 2 men nearby suddenly start talking to me. They say I look very familiar. They have seen me somewhere before. However both of them came from Malaysia, and I can't recall seeing both of them before. Upon realising that we don't know each other. They still kept talking to me, what is most suspicious about them is that they kept asking about my occupation and my life. They seem really interested in me and one guy even shake hand with me and introduce himself. In an instance reaction, when the train reach Lakeside, I got down, one stop before Boon Lay where I alight to go home. I just told them I am alighting and then left. In the end I walked and took a bus home.
When I was selling credit cards part time, sometimes I would try to look grumpy and lean on the underpass wall of a credit card hub at Orchard MRT. However and strangely people will still ask me for directions. I mean I try to look grumpy so that nobody will ask me anything, can't these people read body language?!
You know what I conclude from these incidents - That I have a handsome face. Even the Singh thinks so. He said "You have a very lucky face." Just tell me, "You have a very handsome face." I will understand it just as well. No wonder strangers keep talking to me...
Thursday, October 18, 2007
My 6th Wife
I have always wanted to change my 6th wife, in case you are wondering who are my wives, please look at the following (I have 7 wives):
1. Ms K
2. Ms Piggy
3. Ms Lily
4. Ms Public Holiday
5. Ms Chipmunk
6. The female security guard at Old Chinese Banking Company recreation club
(I suspect Ms K wants to prevent me from adding more wives)
7. Mr Purple Tomato
(my ex-boss, Ms K insist he is number 7. She just wants to prevent me from having more wives)
You can find the photos of my wives in 25/06/07 article. Well I don't have the photo of my 6th wife but it's pretty obvious why I want to change. One, I don't want to know her. Two, I don't even want to know her. And Three, I know who I want. She is Ms Prozac.
I have been trying to get her to be my 6th wife. I have raised the question a few times. Ms K always say must go through her approval, Ms Piggy's approval and Ms Lily's approval before she can join. Ok fine. But where is the application form?!
One day, I raise the question again at Timbre and Ms K said, "Must go through our approval first." Ms Lily said, "We didn't agree to it." Ok so finally I gave up...
Then yesterday, Ms Prozac told me,
Pineapple Tat: "Hey, why don't you get yourself a boyfriend? (we can't be selfish)
Ms Prozac: : "I am trying but don't have suitable one... Anyway you have been asking this like forever." (see I told you I am not selfish)
Pineapple Tat: "Why don't you lower your expectations? You can't always find someone as good as me."
Ms Prozac: "I have already lower my expectations, so low that I am willing to choose you!"
After hearing this, I am touched. She has said yes to be my 6th wife! I have decided next Friday (26/10/07) when all my wives meet up for dinner. I will raised this up again, get an application form (if there is one) and apply for Ms Prozac to be my 6th wife.
1. Ms K
2. Ms Piggy
3. Ms Lily
4. Ms Public Holiday
5. Ms Chipmunk
6. The female security guard at Old Chinese Banking Company recreation club
(I suspect Ms K wants to prevent me from adding more wives)
7. Mr Purple Tomato
(my ex-boss, Ms K insist he is number 7. She just wants to prevent me from having more wives)
You can find the photos of my wives in 25/06/07 article. Well I don't have the photo of my 6th wife but it's pretty obvious why I want to change. One, I don't want to know her. Two, I don't even want to know her. And Three, I know who I want. She is Ms Prozac.
I have been trying to get her to be my 6th wife. I have raised the question a few times. Ms K always say must go through her approval, Ms Piggy's approval and Ms Lily's approval before she can join. Ok fine. But where is the application form?!
One day, I raise the question again at Timbre and Ms K said, "Must go through our approval first." Ms Lily said, "We didn't agree to it." Ok so finally I gave up...
Then yesterday, Ms Prozac told me,
Pineapple Tat: "Hey, why don't you get yourself a boyfriend? (we can't be selfish)
Ms Prozac: : "I am trying but don't have suitable one... Anyway you have been asking this like forever." (see I told you I am not selfish)
Pineapple Tat: "Why don't you lower your expectations? You can't always find someone as good as me."
Ms Prozac: "I have already lower my expectations, so low that I am willing to choose you!"
After hearing this, I am touched. She has said yes to be my 6th wife! I have decided next Friday (26/10/07) when all my wives meet up for dinner. I will raised this up again, get an application form (if there is one) and apply for Ms Prozac to be my 6th wife.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Almost there
I was sitting at a stand alone bus stop in the middle of nowhere. In front of me is a vast green field with the nearest flat 1 km away. 200m behind me a modern white elephant of the Punggol MRT station. The road in front of me stretches to my left disappearing into the forest and to my right into nothingness. The sky is dark and I can feel the strong cool breeze. It is going to rain...
I thought to myself: "What am I doing here?"
Suddenly life descend into nothingness...
I was on the verge of understanding the meaning of life, almost attaining nirvana, nearly achieving enlightenment, closing to the truth... Suddenly I realise everything is meaningless and non-existent. It exists because you think it is and you give value to it.
And then I woke up and realise how "ulu" (deserted) Punggol is. It is a place where birds don't lay eggs and dogs don't shit at place. Here I am waiting for a bus to go into the forest on my far left and expect to find a restaurant?! Why would someone open a restaurant at this place which is far far away long long ago?? The first thing when I met the restaurant owner I will say,
Pineapple Tat: "Hi! Nice restaurant, I would like to do promotions with your restaurant."
Restaurant Owner: "Sure!"
Pineapple Tat: "Can you sign the contract here?"
Restaurant Owner: "Ok!"
Pineapple Tat: "We would like to give you some point of sales materials like A1 banners, acrylic tentcards and bill folder inserts."
Restaurant Owner: "Yipeee!"
Pineapple Tat: "I can see that you have lots of customers like birds, racoons and monkeys in your restaurant."
Restaurant Owner: "These are my regulars."
Pineapple Tat: "I see there are no humans here. What promotions are we doing?"
Restaurant Owner: "1 for 1 Bananas, 10% off ala carte peanuts and 20% off signature earthworms."
Pineapple Tat: "I see..."
As I left the restaurant, the restaurant owner offer me some flies, I kindly decline. I think I saw him sticking out his tongue and sucking the flies.
I am almost there. Almost where? Almost getting out of there.....
I thought to myself: "What am I doing here?"
Suddenly life descend into nothingness...
I was on the verge of understanding the meaning of life, almost attaining nirvana, nearly achieving enlightenment, closing to the truth... Suddenly I realise everything is meaningless and non-existent. It exists because you think it is and you give value to it.
And then I woke up and realise how "ulu" (deserted) Punggol is. It is a place where birds don't lay eggs and dogs don't shit at place. Here I am waiting for a bus to go into the forest on my far left and expect to find a restaurant?! Why would someone open a restaurant at this place which is far far away long long ago?? The first thing when I met the restaurant owner I will say,
Pineapple Tat: "Hi! Nice restaurant, I would like to do promotions with your restaurant."
Restaurant Owner: "Sure!"
Pineapple Tat: "Can you sign the contract here?"
Restaurant Owner: "Ok!"
Pineapple Tat: "We would like to give you some point of sales materials like A1 banners, acrylic tentcards and bill folder inserts."
Restaurant Owner: "Yipeee!"
Pineapple Tat: "I can see that you have lots of customers like birds, racoons and monkeys in your restaurant."
Restaurant Owner: "These are my regulars."
Pineapple Tat: "I see there are no humans here. What promotions are we doing?"
Restaurant Owner: "1 for 1 Bananas, 10% off ala carte peanuts and 20% off signature earthworms."
Pineapple Tat: "I see..."
As I left the restaurant, the restaurant owner offer me some flies, I kindly decline. I think I saw him sticking out his tongue and sucking the flies.
I am almost there. Almost where? Almost getting out of there.....
Monday, October 15, 2007
Marketing Advice
Today I ask my lecturer that if I wanted to study for a degree in Marketing, where should I go? He told me to check out MIS (Marketing Institute of Singapore), the chairman is his friend and this friend started the Mediacorp Group. Another option is SIM (Singapore Institute of Management) because it is reputable although he is not sure about its marketing course.
However what he said next surprised me. He said the best marketers are engineers! He mention that those lecturers that are teaching at Insead (one of the leading management schools in the world) have engineering background. And even in knowledge of finance, engineers are the ones that are good at it, not accountants. Because engineering is a process, it is the improvement of process that put them one up. I am starting to have a new found RESPECT for engineers...
It does make sense because I read a book "Conversation with Marketing Masters", apparently some of these marketing masters had a degree or masters in a totally different discipline from marketing, like economics, engineering or even science. Yet they are the marketing masters. One example is Philip Kotler who is economics trained and a french guy (can't remember the name) who invented a program for marketing strategy.
My lecturer told me to be a marketer, I must have knowledge in finance because marketing is about bringing in profits and I need to know how to read the financials and derive the figures. He told me that since I work in a financial institute I should know all these and overcome it. What he said next really struck me,
"A marketer who doesn't know finance is just a bloody salesman!"
However what he said next surprised me. He said the best marketers are engineers! He mention that those lecturers that are teaching at Insead (one of the leading management schools in the world) have engineering background. And even in knowledge of finance, engineers are the ones that are good at it, not accountants. Because engineering is a process, it is the improvement of process that put them one up. I am starting to have a new found RESPECT for engineers...
It does make sense because I read a book "Conversation with Marketing Masters", apparently some of these marketing masters had a degree or masters in a totally different discipline from marketing, like economics, engineering or even science. Yet they are the marketing masters. One example is Philip Kotler who is economics trained and a french guy (can't remember the name) who invented a program for marketing strategy.
My lecturer told me to be a marketer, I must have knowledge in finance because marketing is about bringing in profits and I need to know how to read the financials and derive the figures. He told me that since I work in a financial institute I should know all these and overcome it. What he said next really struck me,
"A marketer who doesn't know finance is just a bloody salesman!"
Sunday, October 14, 2007
I am back!
Ok I know I should have write my blog almost everyday right but my brother was using the computer to watch anime. I am not a barbaric person, that is why I did not use my position as the "big brother" to ask him to let me use the computer. (except when I need to do work)
Everyday I always thought of what to write, however when I reach home, either I forgot what to write or I have no mood to write. I used to think that since I am doing a social experiement on blog writing like a girl, I wanted to name each blog entry "Social Experiment Day 1", "Social Experiment Day 2" etc.
However I scrap that idea of the naming convention. Maybe... I should scrap this whole experiment! By the way I took some photos. You must be wondering why I didn't post them. Too lazy lor...
Everyday I always thought of what to write, however when I reach home, either I forgot what to write or I have no mood to write. I used to think that since I am doing a social experiement on blog writing like a girl, I wanted to name each blog entry "Social Experiment Day 1", "Social Experiment Day 2" etc.
However I scrap that idea of the naming convention. Maybe... I should scrap this whole experiment! By the way I took some photos. You must be wondering why I didn't post them. Too lazy lor...
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Eh... What to write huh?
I wanted to write my blog yesterday but my brother was using the com. It's ok I shall continue my social experiment as usual on how to write like a girl as mention on 07/10/07.
Let me see what I should write about today... Let me see... Let me see... Write about work... No no no... Write about the places I visited the past few days meeting my merchants? Nah... Write that I drink on my job? Write about my colleague's last day tomorrow? Or write about someone is joining my team?
I don't know what to write leh... I know I know what to write... How about I don't write anything at all?
Let me see what I should write about today... Let me see... Let me see... Write about work... No no no... Write about the places I visited the past few days meeting my merchants? Nah... Write that I drink on my job? Write about my colleague's last day tomorrow? Or write about someone is joining my team?
I don't know what to write leh... I know I know what to write... How about I don't write anything at all?
Monday, October 08, 2007
Just write baby
As mention in my last article, I will try to write everyday as a social experiment. I will write what I like and how I like it without caring about the content or topic... So I am going to write like a girl!
Ok today I saw my cousin at UE Square in a art & craft shop. Apparently she is there teaching art & craft to kids. The best part is that I didn't know anything about her. You see, she belongs to my mum's side and I am more close to my father's relatives. Thus I have learnd more about her than I have seen her for 20 years of Chinese New Year (ok we usually see each other on CNY). Today I finally know her age and she is born on 1986. Haha... I just thought she would know 2 of my friends who studied in SP interior design like her. But they are born in 1984, so I actually thought her to be older. (I don't mean that, you do look young, it's just that it did not cross my mind about your age)
After writing in one breathe, I shall stop here and do my stuff. What stuff you might ask, like sleeping?
Ok today I saw my cousin at UE Square in a art & craft shop. Apparently she is there teaching art & craft to kids. The best part is that I didn't know anything about her. You see, she belongs to my mum's side and I am more close to my father's relatives. Thus I have learnd more about her than I have seen her for 20 years of Chinese New Year (ok we usually see each other on CNY). Today I finally know her age and she is born on 1986. Haha... I just thought she would know 2 of my friends who studied in SP interior design like her. But they are born in 1984, so I actually thought her to be older. (I don't mean that, you do look young, it's just that it did not cross my mind about your age)
After writing in one breathe, I shall stop here and do my stuff. What stuff you might ask, like sleeping?
Sunday, October 07, 2007
How to write a girl's blog
I once ask a guy friend to read another guy's blog. I told him it's pretty interesting. Guess what he told me,
Ignorant Guy: "I usually don't read a guy's blog, I read a girl's blog because I think its more interesting."
I was speechless... Of course I won't debate with him on the stereotyping of a sexes' blog on whether it's interesting or not. However I do realise that a girl's blog usually has the following characteristics,
1. Lots of photos - They love to post lots of photo, photos of food, photos of where they go, photos of what they buy, photos of me etc.....
2. Lots of entry - They have lots and lots and LOTS of entries, they can write almost everyday about nothing. Even if nothing special happens. They just write, no matter how short or how uneventful the day is. (except when they are busy with work)
3. They bitch and talk about everythings - You can really see the emotions, the complaints, the dramas and sometimes the vulgar languauge all come out! They talk about the weather, they talk about their friends, they talk about what they do at home, thay talk about what they do outside, they talk about shopping, they talk about and I am tired of writing... (in short they talk mostly about experiences and human relationships)
4. They like to post lyrics, poems and those psychoanalytic tests - You can see they like to share with you things that really touch their hearts and emotions. Sometimes it contradicts them and they feel confuse.
5. Lots of mystery - They sometimes write about certain things, after reading it, you still don't know what is going on.
I suspect my guy friend prefers to read a girl's blog because he think its more drama or he thinks that by reading a girl's blog, he can understand a girl better.
A guy once told me to post more photos - I would love to but should I post photos of myself showing a 'victory sign'? Post photos of the food I eat? Or post photos of myself in my new dress, sorry I mean clothes.
I am considering writing everyday instead of a bi-weekly special in my blog no matter how trivial or little I have to write. I would like to experience how it feels to write everyday even if it's about nothing. I guess the trick is to write everything about myself instead of commentating on things and topics.
Writing about all these, suddenly I have a thought. Will reading about a girl's life on her blog, actually makes you understand her more?
Ignorant Guy: "I usually don't read a guy's blog, I read a girl's blog because I think its more interesting."
I was speechless... Of course I won't debate with him on the stereotyping of a sexes' blog on whether it's interesting or not. However I do realise that a girl's blog usually has the following characteristics,
1. Lots of photos - They love to post lots of photo, photos of food, photos of where they go, photos of what they buy, photos of me etc.....
2. Lots of entry - They have lots and lots and LOTS of entries, they can write almost everyday about nothing. Even if nothing special happens. They just write, no matter how short or how uneventful the day is. (except when they are busy with work)
3. They bitch and talk about everythings - You can really see the emotions, the complaints, the dramas and sometimes the vulgar languauge all come out! They talk about the weather, they talk about their friends, they talk about what they do at home, thay talk about what they do outside, they talk about shopping, they talk about and I am tired of writing... (in short they talk mostly about experiences and human relationships)
4. They like to post lyrics, poems and those psychoanalytic tests - You can see they like to share with you things that really touch their hearts and emotions. Sometimes it contradicts them and they feel confuse.
5. Lots of mystery - They sometimes write about certain things, after reading it, you still don't know what is going on.
I suspect my guy friend prefers to read a girl's blog because he think its more drama or he thinks that by reading a girl's blog, he can understand a girl better.
A guy once told me to post more photos - I would love to but should I post photos of myself showing a 'victory sign'? Post photos of the food I eat? Or post photos of myself in my new dress, sorry I mean clothes.
I am considering writing everyday instead of a bi-weekly special in my blog no matter how trivial or little I have to write. I would like to experience how it feels to write everyday even if it's about nothing. I guess the trick is to write everything about myself instead of commentating on things and topics.
Writing about all these, suddenly I have a thought. Will reading about a girl's life on her blog, actually makes you understand her more?
Sunday, September 23, 2007
POSM Strategy or is it?
Ok what is exactly POSM? And how did all these things comes about? Why is suddenly putting posters in front of shops hip and cool?
Well to accurately answers all these questions, you my readers have to touch your hearts and look at yourselves. How MANY times can you actually remember the promotions in the brochures or catalogues sent to your house? Do you actually bring these brochures or catalogues out and refer to them religiously? To check where all the promotions are? The answer is NO. (Ok if you are not 1 of them, congratulations! You belong to the rare 0.1%.)
POSM is point of sales material.
According to my Media Planning teacher Alifiyah (I will check the spelling again) from Mindshare, the "moment of truth" is at the point of purchase. Yup, you can come out with fantastic advertising and award winning catalogues (if there is one) but when consumers reach the retail shop wanting to buy your product and suddenly..... "80% OFF STORWIDE" on your competitors product. They change their mind and bought your competitors product instead of yours. It happen quite a lot of times in supermarket and for low involvement products.
So this is where I come in. To make sure our POSM are PUT UP. A simple job? Nah... Of course I don't only do this. This is just part of the job. The questions are how do we make sure retailers put up our POSM? How do we ensure that they will not only put it today but also tomorrow? How do we overcome their objections of space contraints and such? These require some thoughts.
As I was at a meeting with the marketing team, the head of marketing suddenly suggest that we should just cement the posters in front of the retailers store. I took down that suggestion in my notebook as one of the great ideas to use.
Now the question is "Where do I get the cement?"
Well to accurately answers all these questions, you my readers have to touch your hearts and look at yourselves. How MANY times can you actually remember the promotions in the brochures or catalogues sent to your house? Do you actually bring these brochures or catalogues out and refer to them religiously? To check where all the promotions are? The answer is NO. (Ok if you are not 1 of them, congratulations! You belong to the rare 0.1%.)
POSM is point of sales material.
According to my Media Planning teacher Alifiyah (I will check the spelling again) from Mindshare, the "moment of truth" is at the point of purchase. Yup, you can come out with fantastic advertising and award winning catalogues (if there is one) but when consumers reach the retail shop wanting to buy your product and suddenly..... "80% OFF STORWIDE" on your competitors product. They change their mind and bought your competitors product instead of yours. It happen quite a lot of times in supermarket and for low involvement products.
So this is where I come in. To make sure our POSM are PUT UP. A simple job? Nah... Of course I don't only do this. This is just part of the job. The questions are how do we make sure retailers put up our POSM? How do we ensure that they will not only put it today but also tomorrow? How do we overcome their objections of space contraints and such? These require some thoughts.
As I was at a meeting with the marketing team, the head of marketing suddenly suggest that we should just cement the posters in front of the retailers store. I took down that suggestion in my notebook as one of the great ideas to use.
Now the question is "Where do I get the cement?"
Friday, September 21, 2007
Where is my team Dude?
Me: "When is my team coming in?"
Boss: "Not so soon."
WHAT?! I thought I am suppose to have like 2 to 3 person in my team. How about at least give me 1 first?? You know I can't be tying up all the merchants and going around Singapore to make sure they put up our POSM (point of sales material - something you put in or outside your store to show a promotion is going on). Singapore is so BIG, yes its a tiny red dot but I am even tinier.
Its already towards the end of September, I can't imagine that if people still don't come into my team soon, I will be:
1. Eating into my own pay because my transport allowance is not enough to cover my trips around Singapore
2. Walking alone during the Christmas Season just to check out whether merchants put up our POSM
3. So familiar with Singapore that I know whether the taxi uncle is going the longer route cheating my money
What is a manager without his team? What is a king without his castle?
( For my next article, I will be writing my POSM Strategy. For my competitors who are reading this, stay tuned! You know who you are... Wahahahahaha...)
Boss: "Not so soon."
WHAT?! I thought I am suppose to have like 2 to 3 person in my team. How about at least give me 1 first?? You know I can't be tying up all the merchants and going around Singapore to make sure they put up our POSM (point of sales material - something you put in or outside your store to show a promotion is going on). Singapore is so BIG, yes its a tiny red dot but I am even tinier.
Its already towards the end of September, I can't imagine that if people still don't come into my team soon, I will be:
1. Eating into my own pay because my transport allowance is not enough to cover my trips around Singapore
2. Walking alone during the Christmas Season just to check out whether merchants put up our POSM
3. So familiar with Singapore that I know whether the taxi uncle is going the longer route cheating my money
What is a manager without his team? What is a king without his castle?
( For my next article, I will be writing my POSM Strategy. For my competitors who are reading this, stay tuned! You know who you are... Wahahahahaha...)
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Happy Anniversary!
Today I am writing my 100th article... I would like to dedicate this article to Korina. All I want to say is,
Happy 5 years Anniversary to my dear Korina! Thank you for being a wonderful girlfriend and I look forward to the many many happy years we will have together in future. You are the best!
Lots of love,
Pineapple "I am The Best" Tat
Happy 5 years Anniversary to my dear Korina! Thank you for being a wonderful girlfriend and I look forward to the many many happy years we will have together in future. You are the best!
Lots of love,
Pineapple "I am The Best" Tat
Friday, August 17, 2007
Classified Ads
I am changing job.
The 1 month notice seems like a long time before I go to my new office in September. The strange thing is that my new job responsibilities are revealed to me slowly by slowly each week. Its a new team, so no clear directions has been set, thus I only have a rough idea of what I am going to do.
From knowing more about my job responsibilities to knowing my new department's name and my new boss. The next thing I know is that I am going to recruit people! In case you are guessing what I am doing, I am not in MLM (multi level marketing), I am not in insurance, I am not in secret societies and I am definitely not going to join any political parties. I am in the business of merchant business. I am going over to a competitor. (higher pay... WAHAHAHAHAHA!!)
I have drew up a hit list of what kind of talent I want, so here goes:
Secretary
I always wanted a secretary, you see its more of a need than a want. I can't organise my time, I don't know where I put my things, I always forget to remember things and I just can't..... You see! I even forget what I want to write. I desperately need one.
Criteria: Young and pretty (cos I have to see her for 5 days of the week, 9 hours everyday) and must be below 50kg. (so can sit on my lap and proof read my documents)
Pantry Auntie a.k.a Corporate Assistant
Yup... You read correctly. I am going to have a pantry auntie. Why? Because I am going to have my own pantry! Bascially when I go for meetings, I want her to clean up the meeting room, prepare drinks for my guests and make a good cup of teh si (milk tea with evaporated milk) and coffee whenever I want. Ensure enough food and beer in the fridge and snacks on my table.
Criteria: Most important - make good teh si and coffee. Good stock management skills. Being a hot pantry auntie will give you an edge in getting this job.
Personal Assistant
You all must be wondering what is the difference between a secretary and a personal assistant, seriously I don't really know. I just want an extra headcount. My personal assistant will do all my legwork like reserving restaurant seats, book air tickets, queue up to buy concert tickets for me etc. Job descriptions, just 3 words - do sai kang (do shit work)
Criteria: Hardworking, naive and easily bullied
Bodyguard
Being capable has its risk. People will try to hire gunmen to shoot you, sabotage you, delay you in going to a meeting, steal your plans and send spies to you etc. For now I will get one or should I get 2? Or maybe 3? 4? 5?
Criteria: Must know martial arts (minimum black belt), alert to the surroundings and look good when wearing sunglasses.
Chauffeur
I am not sure whether I spell this correctly (that's why I need a secretary). Someone just to drive me around wherever I want to go.
Criteria: Must know where all the best food are, the best night clubs and bars in town. Good driving skills, able to evade my chasing fans.
Cleaning Lady
Basically just clear my rubbish bin, clean my desk, throw away the empty beer cans and snack packs on my table. I am just too busy to do all these.
Criteria: Loves to do housework, has a need for being tidy. Good stamina and at least 1.7m tall. (she has to clean my 2m high cubicle wall and 20 sqm of my office space)
Legal Counsel / Lawyer
As I have to sign the thousands and thousands of documents everyday and millions and millions of my fans autograph books, I need a legal counsel to advise me on these documents and contracts, if not I will be signing my life away. I also need a lawyer to help me defend against sexual harrassments suits.
Criteria: Know the law well and looks like one of those hot lawyers in Ally McBeal.
Nurse / Medic
Working has its stress. So I need a nurse to watch out for my health in case I overeat and drink too much in office. At least help is available immediately.
Criteria: Trained in first aid and looks angelic in the nurse uniform.
As you can see my criterias are pretty simple. Males need not apply. You can drop your resume in my email and remember to include your most RECENT photo. As usual, only shortlisted candidates will be notify. As I need time to compare the photos, sorry I mean resumes, you may wait up to 3 weeks.
By the way, I just remembered that I am not told of my job title yet.....
The 1 month notice seems like a long time before I go to my new office in September. The strange thing is that my new job responsibilities are revealed to me slowly by slowly each week. Its a new team, so no clear directions has been set, thus I only have a rough idea of what I am going to do.
From knowing more about my job responsibilities to knowing my new department's name and my new boss. The next thing I know is that I am going to recruit people! In case you are guessing what I am doing, I am not in MLM (multi level marketing), I am not in insurance, I am not in secret societies and I am definitely not going to join any political parties. I am in the business of merchant business. I am going over to a competitor. (higher pay... WAHAHAHAHAHA!!)
I have drew up a hit list of what kind of talent I want, so here goes:
Secretary
I always wanted a secretary, you see its more of a need than a want. I can't organise my time, I don't know where I put my things, I always forget to remember things and I just can't..... You see! I even forget what I want to write. I desperately need one.
Criteria: Young and pretty (cos I have to see her for 5 days of the week, 9 hours everyday) and must be below 50kg. (so can sit on my lap and proof read my documents)
Pantry Auntie a.k.a Corporate Assistant
Yup... You read correctly. I am going to have a pantry auntie. Why? Because I am going to have my own pantry! Bascially when I go for meetings, I want her to clean up the meeting room, prepare drinks for my guests and make a good cup of teh si (milk tea with evaporated milk) and coffee whenever I want. Ensure enough food and beer in the fridge and snacks on my table.
Criteria: Most important - make good teh si and coffee. Good stock management skills. Being a hot pantry auntie will give you an edge in getting this job.
Personal Assistant
You all must be wondering what is the difference between a secretary and a personal assistant, seriously I don't really know. I just want an extra headcount. My personal assistant will do all my legwork like reserving restaurant seats, book air tickets, queue up to buy concert tickets for me etc. Job descriptions, just 3 words - do sai kang (do shit work)
Criteria: Hardworking, naive and easily bullied
Bodyguard
Being capable has its risk. People will try to hire gunmen to shoot you, sabotage you, delay you in going to a meeting, steal your plans and send spies to you etc. For now I will get one or should I get 2? Or maybe 3? 4? 5?
Criteria: Must know martial arts (minimum black belt), alert to the surroundings and look good when wearing sunglasses.
Chauffeur
I am not sure whether I spell this correctly (that's why I need a secretary). Someone just to drive me around wherever I want to go.
Criteria: Must know where all the best food are, the best night clubs and bars in town. Good driving skills, able to evade my chasing fans.
Cleaning Lady
Basically just clear my rubbish bin, clean my desk, throw away the empty beer cans and snack packs on my table. I am just too busy to do all these.
Criteria: Loves to do housework, has a need for being tidy. Good stamina and at least 1.7m tall. (she has to clean my 2m high cubicle wall and 20 sqm of my office space)
Legal Counsel / Lawyer
As I have to sign the thousands and thousands of documents everyday and millions and millions of my fans autograph books, I need a legal counsel to advise me on these documents and contracts, if not I will be signing my life away. I also need a lawyer to help me defend against sexual harrassments suits.
Criteria: Know the law well and looks like one of those hot lawyers in Ally McBeal.
Nurse / Medic
Working has its stress. So I need a nurse to watch out for my health in case I overeat and drink too much in office. At least help is available immediately.
Criteria: Trained in first aid and looks angelic in the nurse uniform.
As you can see my criterias are pretty simple. Males need not apply. You can drop your resume in my email and remember to include your most RECENT photo. As usual, only shortlisted candidates will be notify. As I need time to compare the photos, sorry I mean resumes, you may wait up to 3 weeks.
By the way, I just remembered that I am not told of my job title yet.....
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Don't worry... I am still alive.
Lately I have been depressed. I don't know why but I am just depress. I drag myself to work, I daydream at work, I am depress cos I can't seem to fall sick, I can't seem to walk properly, I can't bring myself to laugh properly. Feel like shutting myself from the rest of the world.
Lots of work to do, lots of school work to do. Procrastinate, procrastinate and still procrastinating. I seem to be that kind of person who needs that last minute chunk of pressure to squeeze productivity out of me.
I am getting old, I am just a grumpy old man, long winded, slow, weak old man. Lucky me, bless me with women who stand by me and love me for who I am. Bless old man.
For all this, don't worry... I am still alive. What cannot kill you can only make you stronger.
Lots of work to do, lots of school work to do. Procrastinate, procrastinate and still procrastinating. I seem to be that kind of person who needs that last minute chunk of pressure to squeeze productivity out of me.
I am getting old, I am just a grumpy old man, long winded, slow, weak old man. Lucky me, bless me with women who stand by me and love me for who I am. Bless old man.
For all this, don't worry... I am still alive. What cannot kill you can only make you stronger.
Monday, June 25, 2007
My Five Wives
Hi people!Do you see the young and handsome guy on the extreme right? Yup thats me... You see 4 beautiful women sitting beside me, starting from my right, the first woman is pointing number 1, the second woman is flashing the number 2, the third woman is showing number 3 and the fourth woman is displaying number 5. Well people those are the ranking of my five wives. :) (1,2,3 & 5, Number 4 is missing because she has something on)
We decide to have a family photo, so that I can keep it in my wallet and look at whoever is missing when I go out. Let me introduce my 5 wives to you, starting from Number 1...
Number 1
She is usually the one that takes care of me and helps me organise things (read: control me). A very funny and crappy girl. I like the way she laughs. Can look glam one moment and cute the other. Always caring, patient and helpful towards me, no matter how grumpy I am. Has leadership that is why she is number 1. Number 1.....
Number 2
She is a nice girl who always think of others first. She has a charming smile, a food lover, enjoys playing game(mahjong) and a natural athelete (beats me at pool). Always accomodating towards me. Can take my nonsense and rubbish. I like....
Number 3
She is the one that pays for my breakfast, lunch, dinner and cab fare. Always plotting to make me fat by sharing food with me. A capable woman with a gigglish laughter. Cute at times and fierce the other. Will be patient with me for the same thing that she will be impatient to others. Very lucky..... (and I don't know why)
Number 4
She belongs to a rare species of women who still does housework and cook. A good listener and someone who takes care of the family. Very fierce towards me but I know she is acting. Always fall for my tricks to make me look clever. Thinks I am capable and very encouraging towards me. Nice.....
Number 5
She is the youngest of my five wives. A clever girl and also has good taste because she laughs at everything I say. She always makes me feel like the funniest man in the world. Always scolds me for no reason (I am impressed). Haha....
As Number 1 has allowed me to have up to 8 wives, 3 places are actually up for grabs namely Number 6, 7 and 8. If you think you are good enough, please seek an audition with Number 1,2 and 3 although I am not sure why I can't make my own choices.
Oh yah.... This morning I read a book by Malcolm Gladwell's "The Tipping Point". In the book, it states that men are capable of feeling strongly for a few people and will only be overloaded when it reaches Number 10 to 15. Given my kind heart, I think I will extend it to 15 wives. That means I will have to buy 15 wedding gowns and have 30 Father and Mother-laws and not to say the numerous new relatives I will get.
I would really love to share my love with all of you but as you know there is only one me. So hurry up! While stock lasts......
Monday, June 18, 2007
Sometimes
Sometimes I think.... why work so hard? when you are going to die anyway....
Sometimes I wonder.... why love? when you know love is going to hurt you.....
Sometimes I thought.... why argue? when winning isn't going to bring you glory.....
Sometimes I imagine being free, free like the bird,
being aimless, floating aimlessly like the cloud,
being carefree, like the flowers in the garden.....
Strolling under the lazy sun, listening to the laughter of children going home after school, the chirping of the birds and the sound of a car driving past, with the warm breeze blowing against your face....
Peace at heart
Contentment within
Happiness throughout
Sometimes I wonder.... why love? when you know love is going to hurt you.....
Sometimes I thought.... why argue? when winning isn't going to bring you glory.....
Sometimes I imagine being free, free like the bird,
being aimless, floating aimlessly like the cloud,
being carefree, like the flowers in the garden.....
Strolling under the lazy sun, listening to the laughter of children going home after school, the chirping of the birds and the sound of a car driving past, with the warm breeze blowing against your face....
Peace at heart
Contentment within
Happiness throughout
Thursday, May 17, 2007
The Sentosa Finals
May 26, 2007, 10am - The Sentosa Cup FinalsWelcome to Siloso Beach, this is the long awaited Cup Finals between 2000 Tiger Gang and 99E Five Stars Rangers. It will be an intense Captain Balls match (modified rules - unlike the original game where someone stand on a chair to grab the ball to score, this will be a free-scoring game, anyone who stand behind the scoring line and catches the ball from a team mate scores) . We have been waiting for 7 years for this Finals to happen. Yes... Can you feel the electricfying atmosphere? And hear this, the fans are chanting "Pineapple! Pineapple! Pineapple!" (ops... self advertising again)
This is a derby match! Both teams had an intense rivalry since the days in Jurong Institute (high school - A Levels). The 2000 Tiger Gang are the students from the year 2000 batch, this gang was formed when a bunch of repeat students met each other during PE lessons. What is interesting is that 2 of them belongs to the original 99E Rangers. (Pineapple Tat & Wierd Tiger)
The 99E Rangers are the 1999 student batch. These 5 guys are from the same class, the only 2 reasons why they eat during canteen break is because they are hungry and they want to look at girls. Interestingly, all of them has different tastes, so no conflict of interest.
OH! Here comes the line-up for each team.
2000 Tiger Gang
Mr Gump (SW - Sweeper):
The only foreign import in this game, Mr Gump holds a high rank in NCC and continues to help in school, outstanding enough to represent school for NCC activities. Crappy and fearless.
Mr Big Tiger (PM - Playmaker):
Easily the tallest dude in the game, he stand at an impressive height of 1.8+m. He comes from the school bowling club. Deadly sense of accuracy and height advantage when going for the high balls. Big and useful.
Mr Little Tiger (RW - Right Wing):
His lean and atheletic frame makes him a born runner. He is from the school's running club and is crazy about running. Great fitness and always makes tireless runs. A born winger. Boylishly fit.
Mr Sporty Tiger (LW - Left Wing):
A natural sportsman, he is from the school's bowling club. Once won a gold medal for the school's yearly sports day for long jump. Good agility and speedy. Sportily good.
Mr Wise Tiger (FW - Forward):
Determined and have a winner's attitude. He is good at badminton and great at smashing (I know because I got smash by the ball a few times). Determine winner.
99E Five Stars Rangers
Mr Sun (DF - Defender):
First look and you will think he is a hunk. His big frame is suitable for muscling out opponents for the ball. Good drinker and likes to play mahjong. I am not sure how this helps in the game. A player to look out for.
Mr Nose (DF - Defender):
First look and you think he looks like Jackie Chan (Chen Long - KungFu star). Has prove himself to be a great goalkeeper at the NUS Arts & Soci Cage football. Won the runner-up medal in the 'A' Division Field Hockey for school. Look out for his kung fu.
Mr Pineapple Tat (PM - Playmaker):
Organiser of the game, has always scheme to create this Cup Final. In the same school hockey team as Mr Nose. Won the runner-up medal and champion medal in the 'A' Division Field Hockey (sorry Mr Nose, got 1 more medal than you). Represent secondary school in chess tournaments (chess is also a sport). Clever and talented. :)
Mr Alien (FW - Forward):
Tall and lanky. He is good at billard and pool. Show his apptitude in getting small balls to go into even smaller holes. Good at fishing too. Amazingly accurate and able to sense (fish) the right moment. An intuitive player.
Mr Weird Tiger (FW - Forward):
A good-looking guy. An attribute good for players to have (so even if you are lousy, you still have fans). Used to be in the school hockey team with Mr Nose and Pineapple Tat. A good-looking player.
Let the dream finals begin!
Did I say dream finals? Oh yah, its still a dream because not all are coming like Mr XXX, and Mr XXXX is not confirmed yet and Mr XXXXX has not reply and Mr XXXXXX is for a good season.
Well... The Sentosa Finals will still happen. I will just add in the girls on that day. Wohoooo!!
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
The 2nd Luckiest Person In This World
I always tell Ms K I wanted 4 wives.
As there is no perfect woman in this world, I think we can find it in 4 women,
The Fashion Model wife
We all want to have a trophy wife, admit it. The glamour kind, the one where we can bring to show off to our friends.
The Sporty Wife
The cutest and bubbly of the lot, the one with the tanned complexion. Her ethusiasm and optimism for life will influence you in a positive way. Her playfulness and adventurous spirit makes the relationship exciting.
The Housewife
As much as we are the modern cavemen (read: work and take care of yourselves) of this era, we still want someone to take care of us, to fuss over our appearance, to cook for us, to take care of our kids and to stand by us no matter what.
The Career woman
Intelligent, sophisticated and articulate. This is one capable woman you can't mess with, yet admire her for her confidence. You can talk about anything under the sun. Emotionally and financially independent, you do not have to worry about her and she gives you freedom.
Why am I writing about this? Because my female friends are always complaining that all good men are married and attached. Since there are so few good men, let the good men (includes me) have more wives. So we can share our goodness and love around.
When I tell my female friends this, they say "Do you have the money or not to have so many wives?" My reply? "I don't need money because they will be the ones feeding me." That is why one of my wives will be a career woman. It has all been thought out. So don't worry for me guys.
Oh and Ms K's reply to me was, "Ok lor, go ahead." Since I am tone deaf and inept at reading body language, I take that she is agreeable and totally behind this.
I am the 2nd luckiest person in this world. Then who is the luckiest in this world? My 4 wives..... Because they have me.
As there is no perfect woman in this world, I think we can find it in 4 women,
The Fashion Model wife
We all want to have a trophy wife, admit it. The glamour kind, the one where we can bring to show off to our friends.
The Sporty Wife
The cutest and bubbly of the lot, the one with the tanned complexion. Her ethusiasm and optimism for life will influence you in a positive way. Her playfulness and adventurous spirit makes the relationship exciting.
The Housewife
As much as we are the modern cavemen (read: work and take care of yourselves) of this era, we still want someone to take care of us, to fuss over our appearance, to cook for us, to take care of our kids and to stand by us no matter what.
The Career woman
Intelligent, sophisticated and articulate. This is one capable woman you can't mess with, yet admire her for her confidence. You can talk about anything under the sun. Emotionally and financially independent, you do not have to worry about her and she gives you freedom.
Why am I writing about this? Because my female friends are always complaining that all good men are married and attached. Since there are so few good men, let the good men (includes me) have more wives. So we can share our goodness and love around.
When I tell my female friends this, they say "Do you have the money or not to have so many wives?" My reply? "I don't need money because they will be the ones feeding me." That is why one of my wives will be a career woman. It has all been thought out. So don't worry for me guys.
Oh and Ms K's reply to me was, "Ok lor, go ahead." Since I am tone deaf and inept at reading body language, I take that she is agreeable and totally behind this.
I am the 2nd luckiest person in this world. Then who is the luckiest in this world? My 4 wives..... Because they have me.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
What do I really do for a living?
For some of you who are wondering, what does Pineapple Tat really do for a living? Maybe I have told some of you but you probably still can't get a clear idea, so below is a description of what I do,
My job duties / achievements (as in my resume)
My job duties / achievements (as in my resume)
- Executes the end to end process which includes merchant tie ups for promotions, products selection for redemption for customers, negotiation for discounts and coordinating the artwork with the printing house.
- One of the team members involved in planning and executing the launch of 2007/2008 Catalogue.
- Competitive analysis in loyalty programs and frequent flyer programs between various banks
- Sourcing premiums for a Special Programme
- Pricing of points for full (points) and partial redemption (points and cash)
- Setting up parameters for redemption on internet, phone and mobile banking.
- Drafting of statement messages for communications to customers.
- Design web pages for new promotions.
- Coordinating with the business support unit in resolving customers’ issues.
Basically I am in the business of loyalty marketing. But there are some things you do that you don't really write in your resume, here's why,
My hidden job scope (not written in my resume)
- Receptionist - As I sit facing the corridor, lost courier men and people who anyhow wonder into the office would usually ask me for directions. Although my table is second from the main door and there are cubicles on both side of the walkway, my guess is that when they walk past the first table confidently, they suddenly feel lost realising that the office is so big! Since they have swagger past the first table, they just ask the person at the second table. Secondly, people tend to look to their right which is my table.
- Handling courier men - To be fair to these courier men, 70% of them are really looking for me. Being in loyalty marketing, we actually kill a lot of trees because we print a lot of vouchers. These courier men are actually delievering these rubbish that have been redeemed, so usually my place looks like a rubbish dump until my colleague from the next building comes to collect them to count for payment.
- Sorting mails - As my table is the first table of the Marketing department, any mails address to the Marketing department actually lands on my table mysteriously or from a girl from the friendly Sales team. So being the nice person that I am, I would sort the mails which is like tons of it and pass it to my colleagues. Mysterious mails which only address to my department will be (1) Kept aside for further investigation. (2) Land up in the rubbish bin for unimportant mails or people who have left. (3) Sent to the CID because it might be a mail bomb.
- Handling women - As I am surrounded by enemies, sorry I mean women, being in a female dominated envirovment, handling them is really part of the job. Thus everyday is a PR exercise for me. Everyday I wear a mask and helmet to work. Everyday I hope the bombs near me don't explode.
Now you know what I do. No, not civil defence, its marketing stupid...
Women must be crazy
I suspect the fengshui in certain parts of my office is not good. What you see on top is my office layout. As you can see, I sit facing the corridor. Basically the green dots are people unaffected by the poor fengshui, or rather they don't really affect me. Blue dots are people who are suffering, sorry I mean friendly forces and red dots are hostile forces, not necessary towards me but generally that area is a tense place in my opinion. Coincidentally, those 4 places are occupied by women and coincidentally the people who are suffering are men. I used to walk past that area past my Big Bosses to get my print copies, recently I decide to change my printer, so when I get my print copies, I walk out to the corridor, turn right and away from the pillar to the other printer.
Don't know why everytime I walk pass that area, I break out in cold sweat, get nervous and have a general fear of people calling my name. Even if I have to walk past there, I would walk really fast. Talking to the other blue dot can be quite risky, so I try not to look for him, and if I have to talk to him, I either talk to him over the danger zone (for unimportant things), or walk stealthly over there and whisper to him (for important things).
Why is that place a bad fengshui area?
Because people who sit there become....
1) Temperamental - They get agitate easily, so do not disturb them.
2) Act strangely - Tell people that we are buddies , treated her like one and then keep emphasizng to me that she is a woman.
3) Petty - Get angry over small things and you don't understand why.
4) Lose their sense of reality - One of them told me camera is not a gadget and insist on it despite overwhelming evidence that camera is one.
5) Self-denial - Always saying that the other person is more drama more crazy than them when they are more crazy and drama.
6) Inconsistent - They can laugh at the same joke and then get angry over a similar one.
I have more examples but it would take a century to finish the blog. Why did I conclude that its the fengshui that is not good and not the people? Because one, they are usually quite nice at lunch and after work, two, some of them are reading my blog......
Friday, March 16, 2007
Work Withdrawal Syndrome
Everyday I drag myself to work. Work has become so unbearable that I have started to display several symptons. When I was waiting for the bus, I thought to myself,
" Should I go to work? I had stomache this morning. I went to the toilet twice, its watery and not like the normal. Maybe I should see a doctor. Maybe...."
The bus came and I board.
At the MRT station, I thought to myself again,
"My stomach is feeling wussy. I should go see a doctor you know. What if I board the train and I feel like going to the toilet, what if....."
The train came and I board.
In the train, I thought to myself,
"Its now Queenstown, still some way to reach Raffles Place and my stomach is still feeling wussy. Maybe I should turn back and go see a doctor. Maybe I should get down now. Maybe I should get down at the next stop or...."
The train continues to move and I am still in it. As I alighted at Raffles Place and walk out, I thought to myself,
"Hey man, you are at Raffles Place and its still not too late to turn back and see a doctor, Boon Lay is not really that far. Anyway I can take a cab back home. But isn't that a waste of money. Its not a waste of money because you are really not feeling well and...."
Before I know it, I have reached office, I walk in and put down my bag at my cubicle, then I walk out and went to the toilet cubicle to relieve my stomach.
As you can see Ladies and Gentlemen , the above symptons are reflections of Work Withdrawal Syndrome (WWS). The sufferer experiences anxiety about going to work, indecisiveness on whether to go to work or not and have strange thoughts about seeing himself not going to work. For more serious cases, they dream about work. (its happening to me and I dreamt about my Head of Marketing and Head of Credit Cards)
Other symptoms includes poor appetite during lunch (notice I don't talk about breakfast or dinner), restlessness, lethargy, impatientness, you feel that discussions are a waste of time (you can use your time for more important things), you want to avoid some people, you don't feel like talking, you feel like popping a champagne bottle when someone is on MC etc....
Right now I am having a bad cough. I absolutely, definitely, confirm, guarantee, must go and see a doctor tomorrrow!
On second thoughts, maybe not.........
" Should I go to work? I had stomache this morning. I went to the toilet twice, its watery and not like the normal. Maybe I should see a doctor. Maybe...."
The bus came and I board.
At the MRT station, I thought to myself again,
"My stomach is feeling wussy. I should go see a doctor you know. What if I board the train and I feel like going to the toilet, what if....."
The train came and I board.
In the train, I thought to myself,
"Its now Queenstown, still some way to reach Raffles Place and my stomach is still feeling wussy. Maybe I should turn back and go see a doctor. Maybe I should get down now. Maybe I should get down at the next stop or...."
The train continues to move and I am still in it. As I alighted at Raffles Place and walk out, I thought to myself,
"Hey man, you are at Raffles Place and its still not too late to turn back and see a doctor, Boon Lay is not really that far. Anyway I can take a cab back home. But isn't that a waste of money. Its not a waste of money because you are really not feeling well and...."
Before I know it, I have reached office, I walk in and put down my bag at my cubicle, then I walk out and went to the toilet cubicle to relieve my stomach.
As you can see Ladies and Gentlemen , the above symptons are reflections of Work Withdrawal Syndrome (WWS). The sufferer experiences anxiety about going to work, indecisiveness on whether to go to work or not and have strange thoughts about seeing himself not going to work. For more serious cases, they dream about work. (its happening to me and I dreamt about my Head of Marketing and Head of Credit Cards)
Other symptoms includes poor appetite during lunch (notice I don't talk about breakfast or dinner), restlessness, lethargy, impatientness, you feel that discussions are a waste of time (you can use your time for more important things), you want to avoid some people, you don't feel like talking, you feel like popping a champagne bottle when someone is on MC etc....
Right now I am having a bad cough. I absolutely, definitely, confirm, guarantee, must go and see a doctor tomorrrow!
On second thoughts, maybe not.........
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Balloons
I was blowing a red balloon at the playground for this little girl, she look at me with her round eyes and chubby cheeks and marvel at the bright red balloon growing in size. I tie it up and gave it to her. She was thrilled and skip around with it.
Another girl who tied her hair in a pony tail with freckled cheeks and bright eyes, saw the balloon and wonder if she could have it. I blew a bright purple balloon for her. She was amused and wonder whether I will blow anymore balloons for her. The chubby cheeks girl saw that the purple balloon was more beautiful than her's and felt upset.
Along came another girl, she has short hair and big round eyes, I blew her a bright yellow balloon and gave it to her. She kept giggling and wonder why this man blew her a balloon. She was curious to see what other balloon colours I can blow, so she kept asking me to blow another one for her. After I gave her a bright green balloon, she ask for more to see whether will I do it. I obliged and gave her a bright orange balloon. Now she has 3 balloons and the most among other girls.
The girl with the freckled cheeks fell down. Seeing that she was crying, I blew 4 balloons for her, red, green, blue and orange. It cheered her up and she was smiling happily. She shared with me the sweets she have with me. The short hair girl saw me doing it and asked me why did I blow so many balloons for her. I told her its because she is nice to me.
There are other girls at the playground and I blew each one one balloon, the naughtier ones got smaller balloons. With the exception of one girl which I gave her 2 because she was sad as she had just lost something.
A girl with high cheekbones came into the playground and saw what I was doing. I used to blow her numerous balloons with the colours and magnificence of the rainbow. She came and told me,
Girl: "You shouldn't blow balloons for all the girls at the playground!"
Me: "Why not? Don't they all like balloons?"
Girl: "Everytime you blow a balloon for a girl, you burst another girl's balloon."
Me: "Then I will just blow another balloon for her."
Girl: "Thats cruel! Bursting another girl's balloon will make her cry."
Me: "Is it?"
Girl: "If a girl doesn't like the balloons, she will just let it go. What if she really loves it and hold on to it and see you blowing it for other girls? Aren't you bursting her balloon?
Me: "I just want to make them all happy."
Girl: "You should blow balloons for only one girl."
Me: "Since they all like balloons, I will blow balloons for all of them and give the most and best balloons to the one I like."
Girl: "Its just your excuses!"
I pondered for a while. Then I took up the balloons and start blowing again.........
Another girl who tied her hair in a pony tail with freckled cheeks and bright eyes, saw the balloon and wonder if she could have it. I blew a bright purple balloon for her. She was amused and wonder whether I will blow anymore balloons for her. The chubby cheeks girl saw that the purple balloon was more beautiful than her's and felt upset.
Along came another girl, she has short hair and big round eyes, I blew her a bright yellow balloon and gave it to her. She kept giggling and wonder why this man blew her a balloon. She was curious to see what other balloon colours I can blow, so she kept asking me to blow another one for her. After I gave her a bright green balloon, she ask for more to see whether will I do it. I obliged and gave her a bright orange balloon. Now she has 3 balloons and the most among other girls.
The girl with the freckled cheeks fell down. Seeing that she was crying, I blew 4 balloons for her, red, green, blue and orange. It cheered her up and she was smiling happily. She shared with me the sweets she have with me. The short hair girl saw me doing it and asked me why did I blow so many balloons for her. I told her its because she is nice to me.
There are other girls at the playground and I blew each one one balloon, the naughtier ones got smaller balloons. With the exception of one girl which I gave her 2 because she was sad as she had just lost something.
A girl with high cheekbones came into the playground and saw what I was doing. I used to blow her numerous balloons with the colours and magnificence of the rainbow. She came and told me,
Girl: "You shouldn't blow balloons for all the girls at the playground!"
Me: "Why not? Don't they all like balloons?"
Girl: "Everytime you blow a balloon for a girl, you burst another girl's balloon."
Me: "Then I will just blow another balloon for her."
Girl: "Thats cruel! Bursting another girl's balloon will make her cry."
Me: "Is it?"
Girl: "If a girl doesn't like the balloons, she will just let it go. What if she really loves it and hold on to it and see you blowing it for other girls? Aren't you bursting her balloon?
Me: "I just want to make them all happy."
Girl: "You should blow balloons for only one girl."
Me: "Since they all like balloons, I will blow balloons for all of them and give the most and best balloons to the one I like."
Girl: "Its just your excuses!"
I pondered for a while. Then I took up the balloons and start blowing again.........
Monday, February 05, 2007
Fate
As I am typing away at my keyboard at night in the office, thoughts came across my mind, as I type I think, not about work but something else. I usually can't multi-task. Strangely that night I was able to work and think of something else at the same time.
What was I thinking? I was thinking about women. I was thinking about all the wonderful encounters and times we spend together. The meals, shopping, clubbing, verbal jousting, bickering, acting like kids, exchanging and sharing of food. But I can never be with them. Why? When I met them, they already have a boyfriend, going through a divorce and have a kid, married with a kid but not on good terms with the husband or going to get married.
As the thoughts go through my mind, it brought a smile to me, it was happy and it will never last. They belong to someone else at that moment. I realised it is really important at which stage of a woman's life you meet her. Who you meet first is the one you will be with.
I have friends who have no qualms about taking another person's girlfriend or wife. Will you?For those who are inexperience in the affairs of the heart, you probably think its easy to answer
this question. Because at this moment you are thinking with your head. I have friends who go with their hearts.( a more accurate description is that they think with their dicks)
Fortunately, unlike most ordinary men, I have a stronger willpower. But what if one day, at a moment of weakness, I recklessly abandon all my values and succumb to the lust of flesh and decide to go with my heart. Never underestimate the affairs of the heart.
Then the clicking sound of the keyboard came back to my senses, I was still working late into the night. I may tell you that I am forgetful, you may think I have forgotten, I did not. I was lying. Those short moments of happiness will always be on my mind.....
What was I thinking? I was thinking about women. I was thinking about all the wonderful encounters and times we spend together. The meals, shopping, clubbing, verbal jousting, bickering, acting like kids, exchanging and sharing of food. But I can never be with them. Why? When I met them, they already have a boyfriend, going through a divorce and have a kid, married with a kid but not on good terms with the husband or going to get married.
As the thoughts go through my mind, it brought a smile to me, it was happy and it will never last. They belong to someone else at that moment. I realised it is really important at which stage of a woman's life you meet her. Who you meet first is the one you will be with.
I have friends who have no qualms about taking another person's girlfriend or wife. Will you?For those who are inexperience in the affairs of the heart, you probably think its easy to answer
this question. Because at this moment you are thinking with your head. I have friends who go with their hearts.( a more accurate description is that they think with their dicks)
Fortunately, unlike most ordinary men, I have a stronger willpower. But what if one day, at a moment of weakness, I recklessly abandon all my values and succumb to the lust of flesh and decide to go with my heart. Never underestimate the affairs of the heart.
Then the clicking sound of the keyboard came back to my senses, I was still working late into the night. I may tell you that I am forgetful, you may think I have forgotten, I did not. I was lying. Those short moments of happiness will always be on my mind.....
Sunday, January 28, 2007
RAIN's Coming World Tour
I can't believe it! I actually went to watch RAIN's concert, he didn't disappoint me and totally fulfill my expectations of his concert..... It was boring!I can't fathom why people (read: females) are going gaga over him. I mean he has small eyes, no outstanding features and a wierd hairstyle. I have small eyes, an outstanding feature (nose) and a nice hairstyle. :)
There were lots of fire works and visual spectacles, whenever he speaks English, they (read: females again) scream! I mean I speak better English, in fact I speak really well. (ok kidding) He uses a cheap trick on them (read: naive females), he say they are his babies. -_-" And of course they scream AGAIN. I am sure if Peggy-san didn't go with me, she would scream her lungs out. She probably wanted to keep her image in front of me, don't worry I have already known you too well, so you can't trick me.
RAIN did the most disgusting thing I have ever seen, he took a white towel wipe his perspiration and threw it into the crowd! And against all logic that you should jump and duck away from that filthy towel, people (read: who else but females) jump for it! Amazing...
Despite all of RAIN's weird antics and funny hairstyle, I wish his concerts a success because he will be donating to those Children with AIDS. God bless his concerts and a speedy recovery of his arm.
Thanks to Peggy-san, she let me in on the fact that he is the same age as me - 25 years old this year. I guess I have found the formula to success, I mean if he can do it, I can too. So I will name myself SUNSHINE, learn a few slick dance moves, learn a bit of Korean and I will go to Korea and name my concerts "SUNSHINE's Coming World Tour". Call the Korean ladies my BABIES and throw towels, water bottles and sunglasses at them. (at least I throw more souveniers)
From today onwards, call me SUNSHINE, baby....
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Good morning neighbour
Neighbour: "Good morning."
Me: "........" (smiles and amused)
Neighbour: "It has been a long time since I say this to you."
Me: "Its 11.35pm and you still tell me good morning?"
Neighbour: "Its before noon, so its still morning."
Me: "........ Good morning."
Neighbour: "(laughs) You take such a long time to say that to me."
She sits beside me in office, separated by a 1m cubicle wall, we will only see each other when either one of us stands up. Recently she looked tired, less happy and not ok. I wonder why....
Last Friday, only a few people were in office and we were working late, I stood up and look and saw her sitting there looking sick,
Me: "Are you ok?"
Neighbour: "........." (laughs)
Me: "Why are you laughing?"
Neighbour: "The way you ask its so funny."
Me: "Funny?"
Neighbour: "Yah I am ok, why?"
Me: "Nothing, I just ask for fun."
Neighbour: "Yah for fun."
Me: "Don't think too much."
Neighbour: "........" (laughs)
"Don't think too much" is something which we often say to each other and I always like to hear her laugh.
Not long ago she told me,
Neighbour: "I have something to tell you but you look busy."
Me: "What?"
Neighbour: "Its ok, its not important."
I left it at there, when I came back to office on the same day,
Me: "What is it that you want to tell me?"
Neighbour: "Oh nothing. Not anymore."
Me: "........." -_-"
I left it at there.....
Half a year ago, when I just join the marketing department and of all the beautiful women in my office, she is the first one that captures my attention. A cute woman who shows me her generousity (share with me her food) and fun in her character. The first words I said to her were "Good morning neighbour."
Yesterday we were both standing up and facing each other over the cubicle wall sharing food (sharing her food) and sharing a conversation. We must look really amusing, seeing 2 persons facing each other eating and talking to each other over the cubicle wall. It has been a long time since I had a conversation with her, not to say the "good mornings."
God bless my neighbour. Thank you.
Me: "........" (smiles and amused)
Neighbour: "It has been a long time since I say this to you."
Me: "Its 11.35pm and you still tell me good morning?"
Neighbour: "Its before noon, so its still morning."
Me: "........ Good morning."
Neighbour: "(laughs) You take such a long time to say that to me."
She sits beside me in office, separated by a 1m cubicle wall, we will only see each other when either one of us stands up. Recently she looked tired, less happy and not ok. I wonder why....
Last Friday, only a few people were in office and we were working late, I stood up and look and saw her sitting there looking sick,
Me: "Are you ok?"
Neighbour: "........." (laughs)
Me: "Why are you laughing?"
Neighbour: "The way you ask its so funny."
Me: "Funny?"
Neighbour: "Yah I am ok, why?"
Me: "Nothing, I just ask for fun."
Neighbour: "Yah for fun."
Me: "Don't think too much."
Neighbour: "........" (laughs)
"Don't think too much" is something which we often say to each other and I always like to hear her laugh.
Not long ago she told me,
Neighbour: "I have something to tell you but you look busy."
Me: "What?"
Neighbour: "Its ok, its not important."
I left it at there, when I came back to office on the same day,
Me: "What is it that you want to tell me?"
Neighbour: "Oh nothing. Not anymore."
Me: "........." -_-"
I left it at there.....
Half a year ago, when I just join the marketing department and of all the beautiful women in my office, she is the first one that captures my attention. A cute woman who shows me her generousity (share with me her food) and fun in her character. The first words I said to her were "Good morning neighbour."
Yesterday we were both standing up and facing each other over the cubicle wall sharing food (sharing her food) and sharing a conversation. We must look really amusing, seeing 2 persons facing each other eating and talking to each other over the cubicle wall. It has been a long time since I had a conversation with her, not to say the "good mornings."
God bless my neighbour. Thank you.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
When nothing happens at all
2006 just flies over like that...
Its an eventful year but I can't remember anything or did I choose not to think about it?
I wanted to write my New Year resolutions but it did not happen.
I want to say a lot of things but I did not.
I went out a lot but I can't remember what I do or who I went out with.
I lead a more fulfilling life yet I am not satisfied.
What happened? Nothing happened...
Its an eventful year but I can't remember anything or did I choose not to think about it?
I wanted to write my New Year resolutions but it did not happen.
I want to say a lot of things but I did not.
I went out a lot but I can't remember what I do or who I went out with.
I lead a more fulfilling life yet I am not satisfied.
What happened? Nothing happened...
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