What do I really do for a living?

For some of you who are wondering, what does Pineapple Tat really do for a living? Maybe I have told some of you but you probably still can't get a clear idea, so below is a description of what I do,

My job duties / achievements (as in my resume)

• Executes the end to end process which includes merchant tie ups for promotions, products selection for redemption for customers, negotiation for discounts and coordinating the artwork with the printing house.
• One of the team members involved in planning and executing the launch of 2007/2008 Catalogue.
• Competitive analysis in loyalty programs and frequent flyer programs between various banks
• Sourcing premiums for a Special Programme
• Pricing of points for full (points) and partial redemption (points and cash)
• Setting up parameters for redemption on internet, phone and mobile banking.
• Drafting of statement messages for communications to customers.
• Design web pages for new promotions.
• Coordinating with the business support unit in resolving customers’ issues.

Basically I am in the business of loyalty marketing. But there are some things you do that you don't really write in your resume, here's why,

My hidden job scope (not written in my resume)

• Receptionist - As I sit facing the corridor, lost courier men and people who anyhow wonder into the office would usually ask me for directions. Although my table is second from the main door and there are cubicles on both side of the walkway, my guess is that when they walk past the first table confidently, they suddenly feel lost realising that the office is so big! Since they have swagger past the first table, they just ask the person at the second table. Secondly, people tend to look to their right which is my table.
• Handling courier men - To be fair to these courier men, 70% of them are really looking for me. Being in loyalty marketing, we actually kill a lot of trees because we print a lot of vouchers. These courier men are actually delievering these rubbish that have been redeemed, so usually my place looks like a rubbish dump until my colleague from the next building comes to collect them to count for payment.
• Sorting mails - As my table is the first table of the Marketing department, any mails address to the Marketing department actually lands on my table mysteriously or from a girl from the friendly Sales team. So being the nice person that I am, I would sort the mails which is like tons of it and pass it to my colleagues. Mysterious mails which only address to my department will be (1) Kept aside for further investigation. (2) Land up in the rubbish bin for unimportant mails or people who have left. (3) Sent to the CID because it might be a mail bomb.
• Handling women - As I am surrounded by enemies, sorry I mean women, being in a female dominated envirovment, handling them is really part of the job. Thus everyday is a PR exercise for me. Everyday I wear a mask and helmet to work. Everyday I hope the bombs near me don't explode.

Now you know what I do. No, not civil defence, its marketing stupid...

Women must be crazy

I suspect the fengshui in certain parts of my office is not good. What you see on top is my office layout. As you can see, I sit facing the corridor. Basically the green dots are people unaffected by the poor fengshui, or rather they don't really affect me. Blue dots are people who are suffering, sorry I mean friendly forces and red dots are hostile forces, not necessary towards me but generally that area is a tense place in my opinion. Coincidentally, those 4 places are occupied by women and coincidentally the people who are suffering are men. I used to walk past that area past my Big Bosses to get my print copies, recently I decide to change my printer, so when I get my print copies, I walk out to the corridor, turn right and away from the pillar to the other printer.

Don't know why everytime I walk pass that area, I break out in cold sweat, get nervous and have a general fear of people calling my name. Even if I have to walk past there, I would walk really fast. Talking to the other blue dot can be quite risky, so I try not to look for him, and if I have to talk to him, I either talk to him over the danger zone (for unimportant things), or walk stealthly over there and whisper to him (for important things).

Why is that place a bad fengshui area?
Because people who sit there become....
1) Temperamental - They get agitate easily, so do not disturb them.
2) Act strangely - Tell people that we are buddies , treated her like one and then keep emphasizng to me that she is a woman.
3) Petty - Get angry over small things and you don't understand why.
4) Lose their sense of reality - One of them told me camera is not a gadget and insist on it despite overwhelming evidence that camera is one.
5) Self-denial - Always saying that the other person is more drama more crazy than them when they are more crazy and drama.
6) Inconsistent - They can laugh at the same joke and then get angry over a similar one.

I have more examples but it would take a century to finish the blog. Why did I conclude that its the fengshui that is not good and not the people? Because one, they are usually quite nice at lunch and after work, two, some of them are reading my blog......