Change My Mind

Sometimes you don't need to change people's minds because sometimes it doesn't hurt you for them to think that way.

You know how sometimes people post about their thoughts on internet like social networks, blogs, forums etc. And people will disagree, debate and correct each other...

Sometimes it is important, however some of the time it is not.

Don't bother live longer......

The Woman in the Small Cute Shoes

"What is it that you actually want for yourself?"

JY, standing at an impressive height of 1.58m, with her petite frame and small feet, trying to match my pace while we were walking to Nicholl Highway to grab a cab, asked me.

Before that I told her I wanted to earn a mountain of money, so that my parents will not worry about medical bills, I will be able to support my brother in whatever he wants to do and most importantly I will feel safe.

"But you wanted a mountain of money because of other people, so what is it that you actually wanted for yourself?" JY continued.

I couldn't answer her question.

It never struck me what I really wanted for myself.

In one of my usual diffusion tactic, I deflect the question back to her because I can't answer her question.

"So what do you want to do for yourself?" Pineapple Tat asked.

JY told me she wants to see the world before she gets married and to repay her parents for their investments in her studies.

Some people tell me that JY is a girl, I always tell them she is a woman. Hiding behind her girlish laughter, kiddish voice and small cute shoes, is a woman who impress me with her thoughts sometimes.

Yes it took a 22 years old, now almost 23 years old woman to make a 29 years old man realise what is it that he really wants.

Maybe after she has travelled around the world twice, repaid her parents 5 times over, I would still not know what I really want......

Don't Just Run Away

I just had an "UH HUH!" moment.

I realised that running away does not solve problems.

Maybe running and hiding will.

If it cannot find you, it doesn't exist......

What Else

I once read somewhere that you can be alone but not lonely.

And you can be in a crowd and still feel lonely.

Today I just realised something new.

Solitude is peace but sometimes it can be deafening too.

With all those voices in your head debating.

Once things screw up, cannot be unscrewed.

What is said, cannot be recovered.

What is done, cannot be undone.

I think I am feeling this way probably because I had too much caffeine, not enough sleep yesterday, more reading stuff to tackle plus the defeaning solitude makes me A Pessismistically Angry Self Centred Philosopher......

November Emptiness

Being isolated away from the world, coping at home sometimes force me to wonder about life, why I am doing what I am doing, what I am thinking, how am I going to spend the rest of my life and should I just not think at all.

Is what we want really what we want?

Is what we think really correct?

And what is actually going on?

Maybe I am just a boy in a man's body, who just want to eat, sleep and play...

Or is that really what I want......

Life is like a train

In one of my random memories, it was once described that life is like a train.

As we travel through the journey of life, many different people will board into your train at different stations of your life. Many will also alight at different stations of your life.

Some people will ride for one stop, some a few stops, some many stops and some will board, alight and board again. You never know who you will see, who you will meet and who you will never see again.

As I move to the next station of my life, sometimes I do wonder about those people who have alighted from my train, if I will ever see them again......

Run

Sometimes I feel like running away...

Run as far as possible...

Run away from everything...

Run into hiding...

Run so that nothing will catch up with you...

Run and leave everything behind...

But... where can you run to......