Have you ever had the feeling of not knowing what to do with yourself? Suddenly realising that you have a conscious and you are alive, you thought "what am I doing here?". Leading an existence makes you wonder how you are going to 'spend' your life. Sounds very commodity and utility like how you are going to spend your money and how you are going to make your coffee -Cappucino, Kopi O or Expresso. And if you still don't know what I am talking about, ignorance is bliss or is it...
The following is totally unrelated to the first paragraph...
Marketing, Advertising, Sales and Public Relations are all under the same family. As much as the professionals tell you they are different, they have one ultimate aim - Make money. Thats all. Some say advertising is sales in disguise, some say marketing is sales, what about branding and public relations? It's also sales, how? Branding is to create good impression so that you will prefer to buy 'me' versus other products. Public Relations? It's to get free publicity so that you don't have to pay for it compare to advertising.
Before I write more and this becomes a textbook, let me introduce you to terms we usually use to describe our work and achievements,
1. You do a marketing activity (ie.promotion) and you realise no money was made or lost, you called it a Defensive Strategy.
2. Before you do a marketing activity (ie.promotion) with a partner and you know you are likely to lose money, you called it a Strategic Relationship.
3. You a do a marketing activity and you increase revenue but lose profit, you called it Market Penetration or Market Growth.
4. You realised you have put money to endorse or sponsor something and it is a waste of money and time, you called it Branding.
Most importantly always emphasize that marketing doesn't make money or marketing effects can only be seen in the long term and not immediate. This should buy you some time...
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Thursday, March 05, 2009
The Pineapple Times 4th Edition
I realised the last time I wrote for The Pineapple Times was in 17 August 2008. 6 months 16 days later I am back... I am the editor, the correspondent, the reporter and the columnist. This online paper was started for the purpose of helping people and unlike Today Online (a free newspaper offline + online), I don't believe in working for free. So if you still have conscience after reading The Pineapple Times, you should start to:
1. Open your CD-Rom
2. Slot in your credit card
3. Close your CD-Rom
4. A pop up screen appears so key in your pin
5. If it doesn't appear, no need to repeat step one
6. Just buy me lunch or dinner in kind... Times are bad...
Ok read those sections that interest you... It will help you in your life... Really...
The Pineapple Times
Money Matters
This morning I was early for work because there is a very early meeting, I guess it is God's will that I have this early meeting (though it was cancel in the end) because I met a ex school mate who is a regional analyst for light bulbs. He told me that year on year export for China has fallen by 80%. I have yet to verify this.
He mention that China is the world factory and it really means the world economy is not doing well since demand for export has fallen. Before I sound too economics, follow me on this especially the ladies. Since there is so much uncertainties, like the current job market, stock market and fish market, people will be hoarding cash because it is the safest...
When the economy recovers and with so many cash in the market plus all the stimulus packages and injections, the market will be flooded with cash and then there will be hyper inflation... Which means in future, prices of goods will increase very rapidly.
So what does this mean? It means that the best time to spend is now! There are sales everywhere now because people are not spending and hoarding cash. So isn't this the best time to shop?? Basically the world is on sale, so buy all the stuff you need now... I am going to buy a lifetime supply of toilet paper, there is no expiry date and everyone needs to use it right, imagine the savings I get...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
For The Love Of Pineapple Tat
Many women asked me this question many times, I am not sure why. Probably they knew that this kind of thing will happen to me sooner or later. Perhaps it had happened to me but I didn't realise. So what is the question that I have always been asked,
"What will you do when a woman throw herself at you?"
Well if you have never been asked this question, don't fret because when you have a girlfriend, I am sure she will ask you. And if your girlfriend doesn't ask you, don't be sad, most probably she has underestimated you.
Let me teach you how to answer the above question, you should counter it with something like,
1. "Why would a woman throw herself at me?" (Rating: Good, you diffuse tension)
2. "I am neither rich nor handsome, why would a woman throw herself at me?" (Rating: Excellent because you criticised yourself)
3. "I love you."
(Rating: Good, cheap trick but useful)
Besides the above excuses, usually they will follow up with,
"Are you sure that you won't want a woman who throw herself at you. It's free and you don't want? You men are cheap."
You may answer with the following answers,
1. "Yes I am cheap." (Rating: Good, this will make sure she never ask you again)
2. "I don't like women." (Rating: No good, she won't believe you, if she does, she will think you don't love her. Double edged sword)
3. "I am scare of STD" (sexually transmitted disease) (Rating: Excellent, this one is practical and sound more honest, means you admit you are a cheap man with no guts)
Then it will come with a third question,
"What if the woman strip in front of you? Can you resist that?"
You only need to answer with one answer, which is,
"Why would I get myself into that kind of situation in the first place? Allowing her to strip in front of me. If she can do that, it means that we are alone together in a room." (Rating: Superb, killer answer)
After the third question, and with that killer answer, you will regain a newfound respect among your female friends, girlfriend(s), wife / wives and the female race...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
1. Open your CD-Rom
2. Slot in your credit card
3. Close your CD-Rom
4. A pop up screen appears so key in your pin
5. If it doesn't appear, no need to repeat step one
6. Just buy me lunch or dinner in kind... Times are bad...
Ok read those sections that interest you... It will help you in your life... Really...
The Pineapple Times
Money Matters
This morning I was early for work because there is a very early meeting, I guess it is God's will that I have this early meeting (though it was cancel in the end) because I met a ex school mate who is a regional analyst for light bulbs. He told me that year on year export for China has fallen by 80%. I have yet to verify this.
He mention that China is the world factory and it really means the world economy is not doing well since demand for export has fallen. Before I sound too economics, follow me on this especially the ladies. Since there is so much uncertainties, like the current job market, stock market and fish market, people will be hoarding cash because it is the safest...
When the economy recovers and with so many cash in the market plus all the stimulus packages and injections, the market will be flooded with cash and then there will be hyper inflation... Which means in future, prices of goods will increase very rapidly.
So what does this mean? It means that the best time to spend is now! There are sales everywhere now because people are not spending and hoarding cash. So isn't this the best time to shop?? Basically the world is on sale, so buy all the stuff you need now... I am going to buy a lifetime supply of toilet paper, there is no expiry date and everyone needs to use it right, imagine the savings I get...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
For The Love Of Pineapple Tat
Many women asked me this question many times, I am not sure why. Probably they knew that this kind of thing will happen to me sooner or later. Perhaps it had happened to me but I didn't realise. So what is the question that I have always been asked,
"What will you do when a woman throw herself at you?"
Well if you have never been asked this question, don't fret because when you have a girlfriend, I am sure she will ask you. And if your girlfriend doesn't ask you, don't be sad, most probably she has underestimated you.
Let me teach you how to answer the above question, you should counter it with something like,
1. "Why would a woman throw herself at me?" (Rating: Good, you diffuse tension)
2. "I am neither rich nor handsome, why would a woman throw herself at me?" (Rating: Excellent because you criticised yourself)
3. "I love you."
(Rating: Good, cheap trick but useful)
Besides the above excuses, usually they will follow up with,
"Are you sure that you won't want a woman who throw herself at you. It's free and you don't want? You men are cheap."
You may answer with the following answers,
1. "Yes I am cheap." (Rating: Good, this will make sure she never ask you again)
2. "I don't like women." (Rating: No good, she won't believe you, if she does, she will think you don't love her. Double edged sword)
3. "I am scare of STD" (sexually transmitted disease) (Rating: Excellent, this one is practical and sound more honest, means you admit you are a cheap man with no guts)
Then it will come with a third question,
"What if the woman strip in front of you? Can you resist that?"
You only need to answer with one answer, which is,
"Why would I get myself into that kind of situation in the first place? Allowing her to strip in front of me. If she can do that, it means that we are alone together in a room." (Rating: Superb, killer answer)
After the third question, and with that killer answer, you will regain a newfound respect among your female friends, girlfriend(s), wife / wives and the female race...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)