My Female Buddy

It was all arranged. It is predestined. It is a trap. The moment I step into my new full time job, my schedule is arrange almost the same as hers. I used to work with her before part time, we seldom talk and I didn't really have a good impression of her. When I look at her for the first time, she had ordinary features, 2 eyes, 1 nose, 2 ears and 1 mouth.

Now I see her in a different light. I have no choice but to notice her cos we eat lunch, dinner and smoke together often. (when I don't even smoke -_-") She dye her hair light blond, have a tatoo of a red butterfly fluttering around a stalk of flowers on her right thigh, slightly tan than before and she really looked different when she dress up. That my friends...... is the wonders of make up and dressing up. (haven't we all been deceived?)

Before I step into my new job, I knew she was unpopular in office. I didn't know the extent of it. For a newbie like me, its best for me to hang out with the 'popular people' or the majority but I didn't because I am not scared. Besides, I can't be bother with what really happened, how I see her now is how she is to me. The past is the past, what is done cannot be undone. Don't we all deserve a 2nd, 3rd or even a 4th chance to turn over a new leaf?

There was one day when I lost my ATM card and I was left with only $1.50 on me. How am I able to survive in the concrete jungle of City Hall? Luckily my female buddy was there. For the whole day, she was my ATM machine, when I need money I just take from her. Cool..... :)

On Monday, she fell down because her heels gave way. (how unlucky can I get?) So from Tanjong Pagar I sent her all the way back to Woodlands using the North South Line through Raffles Place, then from there I would go home to Boon Lay which was like 1 big round. For some reason, she counted the number of stations that I need to go through.... 28. Thanks ah. She later told me that we should actually go to Jurong East and then switch to North South Line which will be shorter. -_-" Luckily my mobile phone no batt, so I didn't know how many hours I spend on that train AND I don't want to know.

Yesterday we were suppose to go to the Singapore Art Museum but we didn't went in because its only one hour before closing time. So instead we went to Intercontinental Hotel. There we sat on the sofa and drank tea and chat about everything about work to past relationships, then we had dinner at a Vietnamese Restaurant. Its my first time eating viet but its sure is good.

I don't know why but somehow I feel that she is going to give me more trouble.....

Indifference, Ignored and Pride

2 days ago I finally find out why this girl is ignoring me. Her 360 degree change of attitude towards me is because she thought I don't want to talk to her thats why she don't want to talk to me. How stupid can that be?
I mean her not me.

Well... I didn't talk to her because I also thought she don't want to talk to me. But... I am not the stupid one because I did tried to talk to her. And the strange thing is everytime I tried to talk to her, she show indifference towards me, like when she was walking past me, I tried to say hi, she just looked straight and walk past me. I am totally ignored. Nice.... I guess this is retribution to me cos sometimes I show indifference to people for fun.

She knew that I would be disappointed when she heard I didn't get the CCPE job, I am slightly touched but only slightly ar that she understood I like that job better. It is something nice when someone knew how you feel. Seriously I suddenly do not know how to start a conversation with her. Ya I know keep trying right.... Nah... Let things happen naturally lah.... (how come I can feel people cursing me when I say this??)

Maybe pride is in the way too. Having the feeling like "Why don't you talk to me first?" The funny thing is that although she is ignoring me, she still asks about me. Women logic.... Never understand them.

Pride people pride.....

A Strange Week

1. Parting Message?
Just now I was on the train when I received this strange sms from a good friend Ms Princess....

"My fav.. Blue and white roses, teddy bears... Ok suddenly I thought if one day I'm dead and you guys (are)attending my funeral.. Don't forget.. This is what I want."

Wah! So I immediately called her and she didn't pick up. Why would someone suddenly send you such a sms?
And later she sms me....

"Oh sorry I saw your miss call.. I'm driving.. And didn't bring my earpiece.. So wats up"

If you are driving, how come you can sms me?! So I sms her that I would call her another day. I hope she is alright and that she is joking.

2. An Unusual Request
During the week I got a strange sms from a friend asking me for a strange favour....

"I need to ask a favour from you. My girlfriend besides me, needs a good friend, if possible befriend her can?"

Seriously which guy would ask his male friend to befriend his girlfriend?? I really could not fathom the reason behind it. I don't mind being friends with my friends girlfriends but then to be specially requested to be a good friend..... Hmmmmmm...... I must be really a good company. WOOOO!!!!!

3. Freaking Me Out
Some guy actually thought I was angry with him, so he try all kinds of methods to placate me which was actually annoying me. I just want this person to leave me alone. But nooooo..... He keep pestering me asking whether I am angry with him or not, when I say no, he say I am bluffing. I mean why bother to ask me when you think I am angry with you and would not believe me when I say no. Stupid right! Sometimes I suspect he doesn't understand English. And then he did something.....

Guy: "Still angry with me?"
Me: "I am not angry with you. How many times do you need to ask?" (-_-" annoying me again)
Guy: "Cos you never really talk to me on Sunday mah."
Guy: "I wave to you, you also never reply me."
Guy: "I so sad." ( -_-" AHHHHHHHH!!!! My gay alarm is ringing!!)
Guy: "Can I meet you later?" (well what do you think?)
Me: "For?" (the next sentence is cracking)
Guy: "For a heart to heart chat lor." (WHAT?!)
Me: "You are getting girly and its freaking me out."
Guy: "But... But... You really seem angry with me." (how many times do I have to tell him?!)
Guy: "Thats why I wanna have a heart to heart chat with you. A xxx(time) k?
Me: "No. You are annoying me thats all."
Guy: "Meet lah. I meet you xxx(time) at xxx(place) k? Hehe."
Me: "Nah."
Guy: "Please please."
Me: "Sorry... You are really freaking me out."
Guy: "Are you Tat Tat?" (I seriously don't know why he call me Tat Tat and I don't want to know)

I didn't reply him after that. Which guy in his right mind would want to have a heart to heart chat with another guy?! I mean if you want to talk about your problems, its ok but have a heart to heart chat about me? Noooo..... I would be crazy to go and meet him. I nearly want to block him on msn.

4. Suspicious Commentator
An anoymous person by the nick of Gingerbread Girl commented on my Cbox. I actually had a suspect in mind but I can't confirm. You should always give people the benefit of the doubt. But judging from her choice of words and her character, most likely its her.

"You are the most thick skinned, shameless guy on earth with a shameless gift of the gab. I dunno if the world should be thankful for you or if you're a curse to womenkind."

Analysing this comment she is actually praising me. Why? Because it comes from girl, knowing that a girl doesn't always mean what they say, it is actually decipher this way,

"You are the most thick skinned (confident), shameless(daring) guy on earth with a shamless gift of the gab (eloquence). I dunno(not sure about my feelings) if the world should be thankful for you or you're a curse(blessing) to womenkind."

So its actually written this way:

"You are the most confident, daring guy on earth with great eloquence. I feel that the world should be thankful for you and you are a blessing to womenkind."

Nice.... Thank you for the compliments. I accept it. :)

5. 360 Change
I have a female friend who use to talk cock a lot to me, joke with me, treat me food and drinks, basically she is nice to me. Today I saw her, and she seem cold towards me after she came back from her holiday in China. I wonder what warrants the change. Is it because I did something or is it because I didn't do something?

6. My Female Buddy
Thats right.... I have a female buddy, I just got her. Don't ask me why. I don't know how it happened. She was assigned to me just like Mr Buddy. She is bubbly, likes to talk, easily happy easily sad, smokes, offends people easily, have a butterfly tatoo on her tigh and like Mr Buddy, gives me nothing but trouble. -_-"

People I would really like to tell you more exciting happenings about my strange week but due to some sensitive issues it would then expose my shameless deeds and daring exploits. As Mr Buddy says that I am a bastard and a fucker. For this happening week, I would like to thank Mr Buddy and Mr Nose for making it better. You should know why. Both of you are the 2nd best!

Oh you must be wondering.... Who is the best? Of course its ME.....

OCBC 4 Life

I have been looking for a job for this past month. I went for 3 interviews for 3 jobs, 1. Maybank Cards Executive, 2. Bain & Mercer Advertising Sales Executive and 3. MOE Co-Curriculum Programme Executive (CCPE). 1. got it, 2. got no news, 3. didn't get it. I really wanted that 3rd job because its something newly created by MOE where you assist teachers in logistics for CCA and help organise events like sports day and excursions. And then you also get to meet all those beautiful and young teachers.... I heard teachers are caring. Its great to have a caring girlfriend you know. Hehheh....

After knowing I didn't get the CCPE job, I chose to take up the job as OCBC Sales Officer. Although it wasn't my first choice, I took it cos my savings are running dry, got to pay for my school fees, my debts have been accumalating into a mountain and my Mum is going to kick me out of the house soon. Ya and soon I will be eating grass and drinking air if this continues after World Cup.

Initially when I was waiting for the CCPE job, OCBC had an offer for me as a Cards Sales Officer, so I was like waiting for a job while I am being offered another. My friends told me to take the OCBC job cos its paying twice as much than the CCPE thingy. Ya.... But I wanted to wait, though its lesser pay, its my first choice cos its more interesting to me. (not because of young and beautiful teachers) For those of you who know me, interest matters more to me than money. Ya I know I am too idealistic.... Wait till I got no money then I know right.

Few months ago, when I quit OCBC in January, I told myself I wouldn't be going back again cos I was bored of doing their cards sales and wanted to try something new even sell other bank's cards. Ironically, I am going back tomorrow and I am getting the job without an interview! Thanks to my team leader who recommends me.

When Mr Nose knew I chose the OCBC job because I didn't get the CCPE thingy, he looks more happier than me. -_-" Ya.... Because its more money right?? Lately, I recommend Mr Nose to do part time card sales with OCBC and it seems like he is enjoying it. I know because he keeps telling me "OCBC 4 Life" and then he will put up 4 fingers with the palm facing inside. -_-"

Haish...... OCBC 4 Life......

Over Feeding Me

My Mum yesterday complained that her sons are not eating the food she buys. Funnily she got 2 sons (me and my younger brother), its funny not because she got 2 sons, its funny because she ONLY scolds ME. I mean hey you got 2 sons, how come its always me that gets the scolding?? Mr Buddy say its because I am fuck up which I strongly disagree. I think my Mum feels that between me and my brother, I am the stronger one so I can take the scolding.

In case you all think that we are not eating our lunch and dinner while all the rest of Africa are starving, its not what you think. Its just that my Mum likes to buy EXTRA food like dim sum and bread. I have told her many, many, MANY times not to buy so much food. She just won't listen. She say she scared we are hungry. Heres how she makes a fuss about the wastage,

Mum: "Everytime I buy the bread, you all don't eat, waste the food." (saying it fiercely but I am not scare)
Me: "I told you not to buy so much food liao, told you so many times."
Mum: "Huh! Don't buy then you all start asking me whether got things to eat!" (it seems like she has indirectly denied the fact that I had told her many times)
Mum: "Ok lor, then I won't buy lunch and dinner for you all."
Me: "Huh! What has lunch and dinner to do with not eating the bread?!"

My Mum just demonstrated a classic example of women logic. What has not eating the extra food to do with not buying us lunch and dinner?? My Mum never fail to amuse me with her all threats and reasonings. Then after this threat she will go on to other things like telling me to go sleep back at my original room, that she bought a study table but I didn't use it and so on and on. It absolutely has no relations to what we were talking about which is the extra food. It all started just because I told her AGAIN not to buy so much food and she creatively misinterpret it to not buying any food for us.

On a side note, my brother is amazing, while my Mum is threatening US, not me but the 2 of us with not buying food for us, he seems oblivious to what is happening around him, happily playing his computer game. Brother, this is war and you are part of it. How come I am the only one standing up to her?

I must really admit. I can't understand women logic. Besides creatively misinterpreting that not buying extra food is equivalent to not buying lunch and dinner, my Mum did it again,

Me: "Eh.... I got something important to tell you." (in a serious tone)
Mum: "What?"
Me: "Happy Mother's Day.... And please continue to work hard..... for ME."
(my Mum smiling happily)

Well.... My original plan was to irritate my Mum by telling her to work hard to feed me but apparently she is happy that I say Happy Mother's Day. My plan backfired. Its ok, I will try again next year. Nice.... On a positive side, I make my Mum happy without buying her a Mother's Day gift or treat her to some expensive dinner. Hehe... Saves me some money. For those of you who thinks I am a cheapskate, think again. How many of you can make your mother happy by just talking? I can.... I am GOOD. BoHAHAHAHA....

Oh ya.... The next day my Mum still buys me lunch and dinner. I know she will do it. Why? Because I am good.......

I Want My Buddy Back

My Buddy has changed......

Recently Mr Buddy is not his usual self. He has changed from bad to NICE. He is starting to be sugar and spice and everything nice. In another word SWEET.... He also start to be more caring towards my feelings and opinions. What is going on!!! Then he did the unthinkable..... He told me to cut my fingernails. I mean which guy tells another guy to cut his fingernails because its good for him except for those girly man.

For this past month Mr Buddy has been calling me at all sorts of time. Late in the night when it was 2am which obviously I am sleeping, EARLY in the morning at 10 am which OBVIOUSLY I am still sleeping and when I am eating etc. He has also started to ask me to send him those lovey dovey chinese love songs which he seldoms listen. Songs like 我真的受伤了, Forever Love and other crappy songs.

Today Mr Buddy just confessed to me his feelings for me on my Cbox. I knew it.... I know you luv your buddy man. But sorry..... I only love women and I am afraid we only can be friends. Too bad you are not a girl.... Hmmmm.... Nah.... HENG you are not a GIRl. Why would I want a girl for a buddy?! BoHAHAHA....

I want my old buddy back.... The cocky, selfish and narcissistic bastard.....

I Need More Time

As I lie on my bed, I look at the ceiling,
in my heart I know that,

I try to smile but I can't
I want to talk but I wouldn't
I hope to walk away but I couldn't
I know I have missed but I shouldn't
I thought I have forgotten but I haven't

Sometimes how I wish she was still there......

Alien VS Pineapple Tat

As promised, I told Mr Alien that I will write an article about his explaination. No, not because he threaten me with his tentacles or plasma gun. Its just that you always need to hear both side of a story. And also because he is the GUY with the car. So I actually depend on him to drive me home everytime we meet. If not, he might just leave me by the roadside or ask me to walk home.

See... Actually "prawning" is not about just cooking prawns, peeling them and eat, its MORE than that. There is this added step of fishing for them. Talking about fishing prawns, I used to do that when I was young. My Dad will bring our whole family to Pasir Ris where he will pay an hourly rate to fish at the prawn pond. Its fun and I miss those days. Hope I will be able to do that with my friends next Saturday to relive those moments.

Now for the next item on my list. Oh ya... Mr Alien claims that he is not doing anything behind his girlfriend's back, so does it mean that he actually report his EVERY movements to his girlfriend? Well.... That is only pure speculation. They seem loving though, being together for 4 years I think. Mr Alien is a good alien, sorry I mean man. He told me I wrote as if he is being henpecked. Its not true you know, by not organising the outing as your girlfriend told you to is respecting her wishes. I mean in a relationship you need to respect each other and thats good. Nothing wrong with not organising something if she told you not to although I am still baffled.

Ok that is for the clarification which I told Mr Alien I will do. As long as he is happy, I am happy and you will still drive me home right?

The Blog Idiot

Ok this one is about me. I admit I am a Blog Idiot. Some of my friends like told me they did leave comments on my blog but somehow I can't find them. I wonder why, so I told them to leave it on the Cbox cos I really don't know where to find them.

Finally I stumbled upon them, oh my.... I actually need to APPROVE the comments! What an idiot.... (of course I mean myself) Weijie once ask me why I didn't put photos. Its not I don't want, it is that I don't know how to. Besides being a blog idiot, I am also a computer idiot. That time my computer got connection problem but luckily Mr Buddy very zhai (good) at it. So he help me solve it. Thanks man! But hey, I am a blog and computer idiot but Mr Buddy is a idiot himself too.... A handphone idiot that is.

Oh yah... These are some of the comments long long ago.... Hee...

boyuan said...
hey ah tat. surprised to see no one leaving coments on ur blogs. nice blog u have. u have an interesting life and u r sooo smooth and slick. awesome

Thank you Boyuan... Pretty accurate description of me.... Sweet.... Bwahahahahaha

caral said...
Yep, do follow what you think you'll like to do. And your friend is right, change now, rather than hating whatever you doing at year three. =D

Thank you Caral. I only read this today. Its still not too late. I actually feel moody today but after I read this comment I feel happy again. It seems like someone knows I will feel moody today and the comment is left there to cheer me up. Nice....

So people, its not necessary to leave your comments on the Cbox. You can leave it in the comments box cos I have everything figure out! Yeah! Oh ya.... Anyone knows how I can post photos?

Its All Alien to Me

Just this afternoon I was chatting with Mr Alien over MSN, he was suggesting that for our next outing we should go to Marina South for BBQ, cos he says prawning is fun. Seriously I don't understand what is so fun about peeling prawns and then eating them. But I guess he is just a simple guy and is happy just to peel prawns for the rest of his life or as entertainment. Which is good, cos he is easily contented and satisfied. Unlike me who gets bored easily. Then something out of the ordinary happen,

Mr Alien: "They have BBQ pits there." (refering to Marina South)
Mr Alien: "If want, we can buy food go there BBQ while prawning too."
Me: "Hmmm.... Sounds good." (no its not... haha)
Me: "You organising?" (I mean its his suggestion right)
Mr Alien: "Can't lah, my girlfriend don't like me to organise such stuff." (WHAT!!)
Mr Alien: "She think I trying to be funny." (what is so funny??)
Me: "Huh.... Don't understand."
Mr Alien: "Never mind. Bottomline: Me = Attender not organiser. Haha."
(He just push all the responsibilities of organising just like that)

And so I volunteer to organise our next outing. I really cannot comprehend the rationale behind why Mr Alien's girlfriend does not want him to organise outings. I suspect that everytime he meet us, he does it behind his girlfriend's back. He is a truely good friend. Why? Because he risk his girlfriend's wrath just to meet us. I mean will you risk your life to meet your friends?
I am starting to worry for him. What if one day he got caught?? Will he get tortured? Or lose his freedom forever? I must save him!

Hmmm..... I think I will form a SAS (Save Alien Squad) Team to save him. I will ask Mr Sun, Mr Nose, and Mr Weird Tiger to join me. Mr Alien wait for us, we are COMING to save you!

A scary thought is now hovering over my head, what if my next girlfriend is like Mr Alien's girlfriend?? Does it mean when I want to meet my friends, I have to apply for leave? Or I got to sneak out? Will my freedom be restricted? Oh no.....

I love freedom......

An Unrequited Contract

Today I went to sign my contract with Maybank as a Cards Sales Executive. So I reached there at 8.45pm as told. I was then given a set of rules and regulations and my contract to read by the same HR girl who escorted me. It was like a lot of things to read. Actually, I got a lot of things to ask her, no, not her phone number or whether she is single or not, or what she likes in a guy but rather how many off days and the pay is calculated. I actually forgot to ask these important questions in the first interview.

After the HR girl told me the pay and how the commissions are calculated, I was stumped... Stumped because the commission structure is pretty unique, very special, never heard before of. I thought the commissions is calculated based on my understanding but its otherwise. I would have accepted the job and sign the contract on the spot, if not because of the commission structure that is the only stumbling block. I think its my fault because I should have asked her about the job details on my first visit. I am sorry that I have given her false hope that I would sign the contract today. I told her I need to consider the contract and will get back to her tomorrow due to the miscommunication in pay structure.

I am sorry that I had left her with a broken heart and an unsigned contract.....

Always Late and the Handphone Idiot

Mr Wall: "Do you wear a watch?"
Me: "No... But I got my handphone to tell me the time. Why lei?"
Mr Wall: "Do you know what TIME is it?"
Me: "Oh... Sorry we are late... Its all Mr BUDDY's fault, I was waiting for him."

Actually the real and biggest culprit is Mr Giant. He say meet at 2pm at Cityhall MRT station yesterday. Then he postpone it to 230 and I have to msg everyone to change the time. this is what he sms me,

Mr Giant: Can change the time to 230pm? Cos I got something on. Anyway Mr Buddy will be late.

I mean what has Mr Buddy tendency to be late to do with changing the time? Or rather his reason to be late got to do with Mr Buddy. In this modern era of living, I guess blame pushing is the in thing and the way of survival. So Mr Giant, if you going to be LATE, just tell me the REASON, don't tell me who is going to be late anyway. Big and Useless Giant..... Scared that if you are late and I will kick your ass right.

Despite Mr Buddy and me taking the taxi, we still reached there at 3pm. Well.... Mr Giant is later than us. The 3 of them Mr Fly, Mr Wall and Mr Zidane were waiting for us at Coffee & Toast. When we sat down, the first thing Mr Fly said is that it must be Mr Buddy's fault that we are late. Well... Mr Buddy's infamous latecoming reputation has spread far and wide. The best thing is he actually push the blame to me! Say I wait for him at the wrong place, didn't tell him that I board the taxi and so on....

For the whole day, Mr Buddy shared a handphone with me cos his handphone low batt. Because of his handphone handling incompetencies, I have to help him type sms, why? Cos after 5 mins, he could only manage to type the word "you". He use my handphone to talk as if there was no tomorrow and I got to remind him I ONLY got 100 mins free outgoing call. At the end of the day, all he could say to me was 'thank you". Worse still, he forgot to cancel divert to my handphone and after we part, I received calls from strange women.

I know Mr Buddy is always late but now I know something new about him and that is he is also a handphone idiot....

The Hardest Woman to Please in the World

The hardest woman to please in this world is my MUM. Today I went out with her to Raffles Shopping Centre to get my office clothes at Robinsons. She got the OCBC Robinsons card, so I reckon it might save me some money.

My Mum is pretty good at picking out men's clothes, I am impressed by her taste. Usually I don't let my Mum pick my clothes cos when I was young, she always pick clothes that are too small for me. So I told myself I will always buy my own clothes.

After buying my clothes, thats where the problems came. You see.... My Mum seldom go to town, so I thought I will bring her around to look see look see. Apparently she wasn't very interested. I wanted to bring her to eat some good food and she would reject me at every suggestion I gave. Finally, I managed to convince her to go to a place to eat on the pretext that I want to eat it. Big mistake.... I ordered extra food and she REFUSED to eat! Ahhhhh....... Oh ya.... At least she did changed her mind and ordered a cup of coffee there. If that is any consolation to me.

My Mum likes to walk fast, always seem to be in a hurry. She always has this stern look on her face and is a practical person. She likes cute things but wouldn't buy it cos she thinks its a waste of money. She enjoys doing origami and baking, her pineapple tarts are the best! (a coincidence with my nick) She is stern and practical yet soft-hearted and caring. A paradox to me indeed. I reckon if I could handle my Mum, I can handle any woman in the world.

My Mum is the woman who rejects me the most. But I won't give up. Why? Because she is my mother.....