Every morning when I am going to the office from the Lavendar train station, I would always need to cross this 10 metre wide North Bridge Road in 20 seconds. That’s because the traffic light has a digital timer counting down from the 'green walking man' to the 'red standing man'.
One day, I decided to challenge JY to cross this 10 metre wide road in 4 seconds for no reason. It would be an impressive feat for her especially when she stands at an impressive height of 1.58m, which means she didn’t have long walking legs. Unfortunately she really took up the challenge for no reason...
I guess her pride was at stake and she needed to prove it to a 1.71m man who is 0.13m taller than her. In anyway she doesn’t believe I am that tall and claims that I am only as tall as her father, which I suspect she must have put her father and my photo side by side to measure. Similarly I also don’t believe she is that short because I think she should be 2cm shorter.
The day came when JY and I were going for lunch and we were to cross this 10 metre wide North Bridge Road chasm. This was her chance to prove it. We waited for the digital timer to count down till 4 seconds remaining and then walked across. She seemingly float through the road in 4 seconds coolly and doesn’t seem to be making much of an effort to walk fast. While I was like ‘how come I can’t finish crossing it in 4 seconds’ and was like going to sprint. We must have looked silly in front of those drivers waiting for us to cross the road, I am quite sure...
After this silly incident, every time when I have to cross this North Bridge Road, I would always look at the timer and think of ‘4 seconds’, because I knew there was once I played a silly little game with a 1.58m woman who has proved to me that short walking legs is not a barrier to crossing a road in 4 seconds.
Not too long ago, JY and I were crossing this North Bridge Road again and we talk about crossing it in 4 seconds again. I told her the digital timer is gone and I suspect the traffic police knew about the dangerous little game we were playing and took it away……
(The digital timer is actually still there, I really thought it was gone that day)
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
My Work Buddy Van
Van yesterday night asked me to please introduce guys to her because her mum has been nagging her to get married and she could not take it anymore.
As a good buddy, I told her to look through my Facebook and choose who she likes. Then the next step would be to introduce these selected unlucky men… no I mean lucky men to her.
Actually I have suspected all along, she wanted me to introduce men to her but did not directly ask me. Instead she has been dropping subtle hints and as a man, it is natural that I am oblivious to it until it became clear today. (It just struck me)
The conversations at work and lunches all along were constructed to tell me the kind of men she likes.
Like showing me pictures of men whom she thinks is good-looking, telling me how other men are doing silly (my own interpretation) stuff for her, her past relationships and what kind of men her mum likes. She also once gave me an MCQ test on choosing between three women in the office whom I would date, which I now suspect its a plot for me to ask her back the same question, so that she can indicate her favourite three.
And she often subtly hints to me her virtues, so that when I speak to my men friends, I am able to craft out a picture of an almost perfect woman.
She tell me her everyday mundane things like how she likes to clean the toilet, how she must do housework and how thrifty she is plus all the assets that are under her name.
So if you like a woman who can clean a toilet well (read: responsible), have assets (read: rich), thrifty (means everything you pay), indecisive (means you can make all the decisions), and obedient (means no argument) and naggy (means she is caring), please drop me a note on my blog and I will get in touch with you soon… Oh and also attached a full body photo indicating your height... And your income documents… Men who are good-looking or think they are good-looking are encouraged to apply......
As a good buddy, I told her to look through my Facebook and choose who she likes. Then the next step would be to introduce these selected unlucky men… no I mean lucky men to her.
Actually I have suspected all along, she wanted me to introduce men to her but did not directly ask me. Instead she has been dropping subtle hints and as a man, it is natural that I am oblivious to it until it became clear today. (It just struck me)
The conversations at work and lunches all along were constructed to tell me the kind of men she likes.
Like showing me pictures of men whom she thinks is good-looking, telling me how other men are doing silly (my own interpretation) stuff for her, her past relationships and what kind of men her mum likes. She also once gave me an MCQ test on choosing between three women in the office whom I would date, which I now suspect its a plot for me to ask her back the same question, so that she can indicate her favourite three.
And she often subtly hints to me her virtues, so that when I speak to my men friends, I am able to craft out a picture of an almost perfect woman.
She tell me her everyday mundane things like how she likes to clean the toilet, how she must do housework and how thrifty she is plus all the assets that are under her name.
So if you like a woman who can clean a toilet well (read: responsible), have assets (read: rich), thrifty (means everything you pay), indecisive (means you can make all the decisions), and obedient (means no argument) and naggy (means she is caring), please drop me a note on my blog and I will get in touch with you soon… Oh and also attached a full body photo indicating your height... And your income documents… Men who are good-looking or think they are good-looking are encouraged to apply......
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Weekends Gone
I am going nuts.
Coping at home to do my work, my body is flooded with caffeine, my sleeps are filled with dreams for 3 days, my back is aching with pain for sitting too long and my brain is tired from all the thinking...
As an extrovert, I need external stimuli which will boost my mood, too much solitude can make me bored (Btw being bored means the "existential condition of meaninglessness), no, go crazy.
Thinking that surfing Facebook is as good as keeping me connect with the outside world is naive.
My weekends are just gone like that again......
Coping at home to do my work, my body is flooded with caffeine, my sleeps are filled with dreams for 3 days, my back is aching with pain for sitting too long and my brain is tired from all the thinking...
As an extrovert, I need external stimuli which will boost my mood, too much solitude can make me bored (Btw being bored means the "existential condition of meaninglessness), no, go crazy.
Thinking that surfing Facebook is as good as keeping me connect with the outside world is naive.
My weekends are just gone like that again......
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Why I don't like to ask a woman out
We all know men are constantly thinking of how to ask a woman out. It is such an agony to think of the perfect way to ask her out and a daunting challenge to make her say “yes”.
Lots of thinking goes into crafting the right message strategy (what – a direct question, give a good excuse, tell a great story etc.), choosing the right media (where - SMS, email, word of mouth or write a letter), and the creative execution (how – write your invitation on an origami).
You might say all you have to do is just ask. Like my friend Ms Mill who always says “You think too much.” What Ms Mill doesn’t understand is, to us men, we want 100% success. No man asks a woman expecting a “no”. We want something that’s why we ask.
The worse is when they give you an answer like, “See first”, “See how” or “See if the world will end tomorrow” answers, so are we supposed to ask again?
Thus after multiple rejection throughout the years, I decided to just asked again even though she already said “no” 2 days ago.
I SMS her, “You really don’t want to eat dinner together today?” She replied “At jpt?”
I finally got an indirect “Yes”. Women just wouldn’t say yes right. At last, the woman who rejects me the most in my lifetime, my mother, has agreed to eat dinner with her own son. It’s her birthday, of course we should go out.
Unlike my mother-in-law who loves to go out, my mother likes to stay at home and watch Korean drama, instead of going out with her son who is more charming than the Korean men. I mean they all have fake organs like their nose, what is more charming than authenticity like me?
As we all know, women like to perform stunt (Stunt is define as a woman performing a remarkable feat that leaves you speechless). And thanks to Samsung Galaxy S2 for having a battery life as short as a public phone, my mother actually change her mind and SMS me that we should eat another day, which I didn’t received.
I called her and told her I am already on my way to the restaurant and didn’t saw that message. Well luckily, my mum still (a) has a conscience, (b) touched by my persistence and sincerity (c) change her mind again or (d) All of the above.
No matter what I still got to eat dinner with my mother and I still don’t like to ask a woman out……
Lots of thinking goes into crafting the right message strategy (what – a direct question, give a good excuse, tell a great story etc.), choosing the right media (where - SMS, email, word of mouth or write a letter), and the creative execution (how – write your invitation on an origami).
You might say all you have to do is just ask. Like my friend Ms Mill who always says “You think too much.” What Ms Mill doesn’t understand is, to us men, we want 100% success. No man asks a woman expecting a “no”. We want something that’s why we ask.
The worse is when they give you an answer like, “See first”, “See how” or “See if the world will end tomorrow” answers, so are we supposed to ask again?
Thus after multiple rejection throughout the years, I decided to just asked again even though she already said “no” 2 days ago.
I SMS her, “You really don’t want to eat dinner together today?” She replied “At jpt?”
I finally got an indirect “Yes”. Women just wouldn’t say yes right. At last, the woman who rejects me the most in my lifetime, my mother, has agreed to eat dinner with her own son. It’s her birthday, of course we should go out.
Unlike my mother-in-law who loves to go out, my mother likes to stay at home and watch Korean drama, instead of going out with her son who is more charming than the Korean men. I mean they all have fake organs like their nose, what is more charming than authenticity like me?
As we all know, women like to perform stunt (Stunt is define as a woman performing a remarkable feat that leaves you speechless). And thanks to Samsung Galaxy S2 for having a battery life as short as a public phone, my mother actually change her mind and SMS me that we should eat another day, which I didn’t received.
I called her and told her I am already on my way to the restaurant and didn’t saw that message. Well luckily, my mum still (a) has a conscience, (b) touched by my persistence and sincerity (c) change her mind again or (d) All of the above.
No matter what I still got to eat dinner with my mother and I still don’t like to ask a woman out……
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
The App That I Think I Need To Download
Yesterday I read an article from Askman.com on “Apps for girls”, the article mention that there are 10 apps that men shouldn’t be caught dead with.
Suddenly it dawn on me on why my life is constantly dramatic. That's because I am always working in an environment with so many women. Downloading a PMS Tracker may actually make my life better. (Ok very unmanly I know)
According to Wikipedia, there are “specific emotional and physical symptoms attribute to PMS”. (Sounds dangerous)
And it happens “ten days prior to menses”. (That’s a long time)
This is the killer: “More than 200 different symptoms have been associated with PMS, but the three most prominent symptoms are irritability, tension, and dysphoria (unhappiness).” (Wow…)
Counting the number of women in my team from a photo, there are 11 of them. So 11 x 10 days = 110 days. It’s once a month so 11 x 10 days x 12 months = 1,320 days (Hmmm that’s a lot of days). There is only 365 days a year, so 1,320 / 365 = 360% (Huge percentage!)
The figures 360% and the over 200 symptoms seems like a lot of irritability, tension and dysphoria in a month and I am not sure how I can manage that.
Thus I have concluded that I need the PMS Tracker in my phone, so that I can tweak my communication with every woman depending on their moods for those 10 days. (Very clever, pat on the back)
Now I need another app to tell me how to ask a woman when her PMS is……
Suddenly it dawn on me on why my life is constantly dramatic. That's because I am always working in an environment with so many women. Downloading a PMS Tracker may actually make my life better. (Ok very unmanly I know)
According to Wikipedia, there are “specific emotional and physical symptoms attribute to PMS”. (Sounds dangerous)
And it happens “ten days prior to menses”. (That’s a long time)
This is the killer: “More than 200 different symptoms have been associated with PMS, but the three most prominent symptoms are irritability, tension, and dysphoria (unhappiness).” (Wow…)
Counting the number of women in my team from a photo, there are 11 of them. So 11 x 10 days = 110 days. It’s once a month so 11 x 10 days x 12 months = 1,320 days (Hmmm that’s a lot of days). There is only 365 days a year, so 1,320 / 365 = 360% (Huge percentage!)
The figures 360% and the over 200 symptoms seems like a lot of irritability, tension and dysphoria in a month and I am not sure how I can manage that.
Thus I have concluded that I need the PMS Tracker in my phone, so that I can tweak my communication with every woman depending on their moods for those 10 days. (Very clever, pat on the back)
Now I need another app to tell me how to ask a woman when her PMS is……
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