What I want to attain...Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
When You Feel Like Quitting Your Job
If you are depress over work, and every morning when you are at the bus stop or train station thinking that you have an imaginary stomachache or headache, feel like jumping onto the train tracks or into the path of anything mechanical gigantic... Watch this video. No need to see a doctor or counsellor, just watch this video 3 times a day and each time after your meals... It should help.
So when you like quitting your job, just watch this video because it could have been worse...
Sunday, May 10, 2009
That's My FairPrice!
I was on MSN and I saw Veran posted a comment beside his name, "FairPrice Girl wanna challenge Singapore Girl man!" Took a look and realised what he meant in the following website http://www.thatsmyfairprice.com.sg/index.html#/movie-quiz
Come to think of it, I have worked part time at NTUC FairPrice 3 times. Each time it was during my break. 1st time was after my O Level, 2nd time was after my A Level and the 3rd time was after my national service. Each time I was in a different department - Grocery (1st time), Fresh Food (2nd time) and Cashiering & Frozen Food (3rd time). The only department I haven't been to is Non-Food department, if you are wondering what non-food is, one example is sanitary pad.
I know it looks like I am destined for great things in the supermarket line by working in almost every department from carrying huge bags of rice to weighing vegetables. Looking at the TV commercial, bring back memories of the aunties I have worked with. There were some nice aunties and the not so nice ones. After my third stint in one of the rural branches, I told myself I should try something new.
Through my three stints with NTUC FairPrice, I was proud enough to feature these experiences in my resume when I was looking for my first full time job. Though I am not sure how much it helped me but I pretty much would like to show that I learn to work when I was young. So young people, listen to uncle and find a part time job during your holidays, it will help you in life... I think...
Going through my memories again, I can't recall seeing that girl in the TV commercial in any of the branches I have worked in. I must call up my ex-employers and asked which branch she is working in. Because her teeth is so white that I really want to ask her which brand of toothpaste she is using (ok I want to have whiter teeth).
If they start employing sweet young staff like that girl in the commercial, well then that's my fairprice and I am going to do window grocery shopping more often...
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
The Village
Long long ago, far far away... Ok actually just one year ago, I left a town to stay in a village. The first time I step into this village, everyone looks normal however as time goes by, I realised it is a strange village and the villagers are actually crazy...
The strange thing about this village is that the villagers here love to gather together to cook soup. In these meetings, we will have this big black pot of water where everyone starts throwing ingredients into it and start cooking together. Since there are many chefs, the soup usually takes a long time to cook and taste awful. Each chef would always blame the other chefs for not cooking it well. But when the soup tastes good, everyone would claim that they are the chef that cooks it. Of course since the soup has been cooked, we will always have to drink it. But each time when we drank the soup, we came out in confusion...
The next strange thing about this village is that we have weekly visitation from witch doctors who are always trying to sell us all kinds of potions. According to the village, we are suppose to tell them our illness and seek a cure from them even if we are not sick (prevention is better than cure). I heard that every 2 years, there will be a village festival where we invite witch doctors from around the world to show us their latest creation. These witch doctors will present to us different coloured potions in various bottle shapes they made. As usual, all witch doctors promise us if we drank their potions, we will gain longevity, health, happiness, strength etc...
Despite all these strange occurences, the village folks are actually friendly and humble people but acted crazily in varying degrees. At first, I did not understand why, so I went to investigate and interviewed some villagers. Some of them in their occasional normal selfs, pointed out to me it was because of this well in the village which was poisoned...
It was then that I understood that the poison well is the cause of the villagers' illness and I stop drinking from it and the soup everyone cooks. As sane people don't drink from a poison well, why are people still staying in village? I am not quite sure why but if you want to stay in the village, you have 2 basic choices, one is to drink from the poison well like everyone else or risk accusation of being crazy (to crazy people, a normal person is crazy) or two, to leave the village. There is actually a third choice that is don't drink from the poison well but you have to act crazy, however you will become thirsty...
Recently in the village, I stumbled upon a little shrine next to the tiger's cave where a wise woman lives. She told the villagers that they are crazy and tried to treat them, however the crazy villagers told her that she is the one that is crazy and refused treatment. She was disheartened but kept trying to treat as many villagers as possible.
I visited her a few times for consultation, as she came from the city, she often told me wonderful stories of the outside world and what you can find in the city. Of course, like all wise women, they will choose to leave one day...
As much as I would like to tell you more about this village, I am starting to feel thirsty......
The strange thing about this village is that the villagers here love to gather together to cook soup. In these meetings, we will have this big black pot of water where everyone starts throwing ingredients into it and start cooking together. Since there are many chefs, the soup usually takes a long time to cook and taste awful. Each chef would always blame the other chefs for not cooking it well. But when the soup tastes good, everyone would claim that they are the chef that cooks it. Of course since the soup has been cooked, we will always have to drink it. But each time when we drank the soup, we came out in confusion...
The next strange thing about this village is that we have weekly visitation from witch doctors who are always trying to sell us all kinds of potions. According to the village, we are suppose to tell them our illness and seek a cure from them even if we are not sick (prevention is better than cure). I heard that every 2 years, there will be a village festival where we invite witch doctors from around the world to show us their latest creation. These witch doctors will present to us different coloured potions in various bottle shapes they made. As usual, all witch doctors promise us if we drank their potions, we will gain longevity, health, happiness, strength etc...
Despite all these strange occurences, the village folks are actually friendly and humble people but acted crazily in varying degrees. At first, I did not understand why, so I went to investigate and interviewed some villagers. Some of them in their occasional normal selfs, pointed out to me it was because of this well in the village which was poisoned...
It was then that I understood that the poison well is the cause of the villagers' illness and I stop drinking from it and the soup everyone cooks. As sane people don't drink from a poison well, why are people still staying in village? I am not quite sure why but if you want to stay in the village, you have 2 basic choices, one is to drink from the poison well like everyone else or risk accusation of being crazy (to crazy people, a normal person is crazy) or two, to leave the village. There is actually a third choice that is don't drink from the poison well but you have to act crazy, however you will become thirsty...
Recently in the village, I stumbled upon a little shrine next to the tiger's cave where a wise woman lives. She told the villagers that they are crazy and tried to treat them, however the crazy villagers told her that she is the one that is crazy and refused treatment. She was disheartened but kept trying to treat as many villagers as possible.
I visited her a few times for consultation, as she came from the city, she often told me wonderful stories of the outside world and what you can find in the city. Of course, like all wise women, they will choose to leave one day...
As much as I would like to tell you more about this village, I am starting to feel thirsty......
Saturday, April 04, 2009
MCYS 'Funeral' TVC
A TVC to tell singles to go beyond waiting for the perfect partner. This TVC attempts to tell the story that in every relationship, there will be flaws and imperfections. And we should embrace these little flaws in our relationships...
http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_358952.html
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Meaningless Rantings & Marketing Terms
Have you ever had the feeling of not knowing what to do with yourself? Suddenly realising that you have a conscious and you are alive, you thought "what am I doing here?". Leading an existence makes you wonder how you are going to 'spend' your life. Sounds very commodity and utility like how you are going to spend your money and how you are going to make your coffee -Cappucino, Kopi O or Expresso. And if you still don't know what I am talking about, ignorance is bliss or is it...
The following is totally unrelated to the first paragraph...
Marketing, Advertising, Sales and Public Relations are all under the same family. As much as the professionals tell you they are different, they have one ultimate aim - Make money. Thats all. Some say advertising is sales in disguise, some say marketing is sales, what about branding and public relations? It's also sales, how? Branding is to create good impression so that you will prefer to buy 'me' versus other products. Public Relations? It's to get free publicity so that you don't have to pay for it compare to advertising.
Before I write more and this becomes a textbook, let me introduce you to terms we usually use to describe our work and achievements,
1. You do a marketing activity (ie.promotion) and you realise no money was made or lost, you called it a Defensive Strategy.
2. Before you do a marketing activity (ie.promotion) with a partner and you know you are likely to lose money, you called it a Strategic Relationship.
3. You a do a marketing activity and you increase revenue but lose profit, you called it Market Penetration or Market Growth.
4. You realised you have put money to endorse or sponsor something and it is a waste of money and time, you called it Branding.
Most importantly always emphasize that marketing doesn't make money or marketing effects can only be seen in the long term and not immediate. This should buy you some time...
The following is totally unrelated to the first paragraph...
Marketing, Advertising, Sales and Public Relations are all under the same family. As much as the professionals tell you they are different, they have one ultimate aim - Make money. Thats all. Some say advertising is sales in disguise, some say marketing is sales, what about branding and public relations? It's also sales, how? Branding is to create good impression so that you will prefer to buy 'me' versus other products. Public Relations? It's to get free publicity so that you don't have to pay for it compare to advertising.
Before I write more and this becomes a textbook, let me introduce you to terms we usually use to describe our work and achievements,
1. You do a marketing activity (ie.promotion) and you realise no money was made or lost, you called it a Defensive Strategy.
2. Before you do a marketing activity (ie.promotion) with a partner and you know you are likely to lose money, you called it a Strategic Relationship.
3. You a do a marketing activity and you increase revenue but lose profit, you called it Market Penetration or Market Growth.
4. You realised you have put money to endorse or sponsor something and it is a waste of money and time, you called it Branding.
Most importantly always emphasize that marketing doesn't make money or marketing effects can only be seen in the long term and not immediate. This should buy you some time...
Thursday, March 05, 2009
The Pineapple Times 4th Edition
I realised the last time I wrote for The Pineapple Times was in 17 August 2008. 6 months 16 days later I am back... I am the editor, the correspondent, the reporter and the columnist. This online paper was started for the purpose of helping people and unlike Today Online (a free newspaper offline + online), I don't believe in working for free. So if you still have conscience after reading The Pineapple Times, you should start to:
1. Open your CD-Rom
2. Slot in your credit card
3. Close your CD-Rom
4. A pop up screen appears so key in your pin
5. If it doesn't appear, no need to repeat step one
6. Just buy me lunch or dinner in kind... Times are bad...
Ok read those sections that interest you... It will help you in your life... Really...
The Pineapple Times
Money Matters
This morning I was early for work because there is a very early meeting, I guess it is God's will that I have this early meeting (though it was cancel in the end) because I met a ex school mate who is a regional analyst for light bulbs. He told me that year on year export for China has fallen by 80%. I have yet to verify this.
He mention that China is the world factory and it really means the world economy is not doing well since demand for export has fallen. Before I sound too economics, follow me on this especially the ladies. Since there is so much uncertainties, like the current job market, stock market and fish market, people will be hoarding cash because it is the safest...
When the economy recovers and with so many cash in the market plus all the stimulus packages and injections, the market will be flooded with cash and then there will be hyper inflation... Which means in future, prices of goods will increase very rapidly.
So what does this mean? It means that the best time to spend is now! There are sales everywhere now because people are not spending and hoarding cash. So isn't this the best time to shop?? Basically the world is on sale, so buy all the stuff you need now... I am going to buy a lifetime supply of toilet paper, there is no expiry date and everyone needs to use it right, imagine the savings I get...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
For The Love Of Pineapple Tat
Many women asked me this question many times, I am not sure why. Probably they knew that this kind of thing will happen to me sooner or later. Perhaps it had happened to me but I didn't realise. So what is the question that I have always been asked,
"What will you do when a woman throw herself at you?"
Well if you have never been asked this question, don't fret because when you have a girlfriend, I am sure she will ask you. And if your girlfriend doesn't ask you, don't be sad, most probably she has underestimated you.
Let me teach you how to answer the above question, you should counter it with something like,
1. "Why would a woman throw herself at me?" (Rating: Good, you diffuse tension)
2. "I am neither rich nor handsome, why would a woman throw herself at me?" (Rating: Excellent because you criticised yourself)
3. "I love you."
(Rating: Good, cheap trick but useful)
Besides the above excuses, usually they will follow up with,
"Are you sure that you won't want a woman who throw herself at you. It's free and you don't want? You men are cheap."
You may answer with the following answers,
1. "Yes I am cheap." (Rating: Good, this will make sure she never ask you again)
2. "I don't like women." (Rating: No good, she won't believe you, if she does, she will think you don't love her. Double edged sword)
3. "I am scare of STD" (sexually transmitted disease) (Rating: Excellent, this one is practical and sound more honest, means you admit you are a cheap man with no guts)
Then it will come with a third question,
"What if the woman strip in front of you? Can you resist that?"
You only need to answer with one answer, which is,
"Why would I get myself into that kind of situation in the first place? Allowing her to strip in front of me. If she can do that, it means that we are alone together in a room." (Rating: Superb, killer answer)
After the third question, and with that killer answer, you will regain a newfound respect among your female friends, girlfriend(s), wife / wives and the female race...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
1. Open your CD-Rom
2. Slot in your credit card
3. Close your CD-Rom
4. A pop up screen appears so key in your pin
5. If it doesn't appear, no need to repeat step one
6. Just buy me lunch or dinner in kind... Times are bad...
Ok read those sections that interest you... It will help you in your life... Really...
The Pineapple Times
Money Matters
This morning I was early for work because there is a very early meeting, I guess it is God's will that I have this early meeting (though it was cancel in the end) because I met a ex school mate who is a regional analyst for light bulbs. He told me that year on year export for China has fallen by 80%. I have yet to verify this.
He mention that China is the world factory and it really means the world economy is not doing well since demand for export has fallen. Before I sound too economics, follow me on this especially the ladies. Since there is so much uncertainties, like the current job market, stock market and fish market, people will be hoarding cash because it is the safest...
When the economy recovers and with so many cash in the market plus all the stimulus packages and injections, the market will be flooded with cash and then there will be hyper inflation... Which means in future, prices of goods will increase very rapidly.
So what does this mean? It means that the best time to spend is now! There are sales everywhere now because people are not spending and hoarding cash. So isn't this the best time to shop?? Basically the world is on sale, so buy all the stuff you need now... I am going to buy a lifetime supply of toilet paper, there is no expiry date and everyone needs to use it right, imagine the savings I get...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
For The Love Of Pineapple Tat
Many women asked me this question many times, I am not sure why. Probably they knew that this kind of thing will happen to me sooner or later. Perhaps it had happened to me but I didn't realise. So what is the question that I have always been asked,
"What will you do when a woman throw herself at you?"
Well if you have never been asked this question, don't fret because when you have a girlfriend, I am sure she will ask you. And if your girlfriend doesn't ask you, don't be sad, most probably she has underestimated you.
Let me teach you how to answer the above question, you should counter it with something like,
1. "Why would a woman throw herself at me?" (Rating: Good, you diffuse tension)
2. "I am neither rich nor handsome, why would a woman throw herself at me?" (Rating: Excellent because you criticised yourself)
3. "I love you."
(Rating: Good, cheap trick but useful)
Besides the above excuses, usually they will follow up with,
"Are you sure that you won't want a woman who throw herself at you. It's free and you don't want? You men are cheap."
You may answer with the following answers,
1. "Yes I am cheap." (Rating: Good, this will make sure she never ask you again)
2. "I don't like women." (Rating: No good, she won't believe you, if she does, she will think you don't love her. Double edged sword)
3. "I am scare of STD" (sexually transmitted disease) (Rating: Excellent, this one is practical and sound more honest, means you admit you are a cheap man with no guts)
Then it will come with a third question,
"What if the woman strip in front of you? Can you resist that?"
You only need to answer with one answer, which is,
"Why would I get myself into that kind of situation in the first place? Allowing her to strip in front of me. If she can do that, it means that we are alone together in a room." (Rating: Superb, killer answer)
After the third question, and with that killer answer, you will regain a newfound respect among your female friends, girlfriend(s), wife / wives and the female race...
Correspondent: Pineapple Tat
Monday, February 23, 2009
Memories and I wonder how everyone is doing
Today I attended my ex-girlfriend's wedding whom I met at secondary school, we kept in touch somehow and I can't exactly remember how after losing touch for some time, we met again.
On Valentine's Day, I met another ex-girlfriend (also from my secondary school) on the street at Doby Ghaut, she was holding a guy's hand, I didn't say hi to her though because we don't really keep in touch and I am not sure if she still hates me.
One day I was queuing up to go into a cafe and saw a girl I once liked (when I just started work). I spoke to her and ask how she was and engage in polite talk. Different from last time where we can talk about anything.
Sometimes you wonder how those people who have crossed your path, walked with you in the journey of life for a while even if it is only for a few months, how they are now and what they are doing.
Not that you miss them but rather sometimes mattters wasn't closed properly and you wonder why it ended, why it just didn't happen or what could have happened.
Ms K asked me at the wedding whether I was feeling sour hearted when the groom wasn't me (one of the tests she always put me through). Of course I wasn't, that was like 13 years ago when I was 14 years old. The next test girlfriends usually put you through is by mentioning that memories of your first girlfriend is always the sweetest. Naturally, we would have to testify it's not and explain why.
And talking about memories... Last Friday, I went to Bellini at Clarke Quay and drank too much whisky. Ms K (very sweet of her) sent me home. Next morning, she asked me "Do you remember how many girls you hug that night?" I think only 2, or is it 3......
On Valentine's Day, I met another ex-girlfriend (also from my secondary school) on the street at Doby Ghaut, she was holding a guy's hand, I didn't say hi to her though because we don't really keep in touch and I am not sure if she still hates me.
One day I was queuing up to go into a cafe and saw a girl I once liked (when I just started work). I spoke to her and ask how she was and engage in polite talk. Different from last time where we can talk about anything.
Sometimes you wonder how those people who have crossed your path, walked with you in the journey of life for a while even if it is only for a few months, how they are now and what they are doing.
Not that you miss them but rather sometimes mattters wasn't closed properly and you wonder why it ended, why it just didn't happen or what could have happened.
Ms K asked me at the wedding whether I was feeling sour hearted when the groom wasn't me (one of the tests she always put me through). Of course I wasn't, that was like 13 years ago when I was 14 years old. The next test girlfriends usually put you through is by mentioning that memories of your first girlfriend is always the sweetest. Naturally, we would have to testify it's not and explain why.
And talking about memories... Last Friday, I went to Bellini at Clarke Quay and drank too much whisky. Ms K (very sweet of her) sent me home. Next morning, she asked me "Do you remember how many girls you hug that night?" I think only 2, or is it 3......
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