What do I really do for a living?

For some of you who are wondering, what does Pineapple Tat really do for a living? Maybe I have told some of you but you probably still can't get a clear idea, so below is a description of what I do,

My job duties / achievements (as in my resume)

• Executes the end to end process which includes merchant tie ups for promotions, products selection for redemption for customers, negotiation for discounts and coordinating the artwork with the printing house.
• One of the team members involved in planning and executing the launch of 2007/2008 Catalogue.
• Competitive analysis in loyalty programs and frequent flyer programs between various banks
• Sourcing premiums for a Special Programme
• Pricing of points for full (points) and partial redemption (points and cash)
• Setting up parameters for redemption on internet, phone and mobile banking.
• Drafting of statement messages for communications to customers.
• Design web pages for new promotions.
• Coordinating with the business support unit in resolving customers’ issues.

Basically I am in the business of loyalty marketing. But there are some things you do that you don't really write in your resume, here's why,

My hidden job scope (not written in my resume)

• Receptionist - As I sit facing the corridor, lost courier men and people who anyhow wonder into the office would usually ask me for directions. Although my table is second from the main door and there are cubicles on both side of the walkway, my guess is that when they walk past the first table confidently, they suddenly feel lost realising that the office is so big! Since they have swagger past the first table, they just ask the person at the second table. Secondly, people tend to look to their right which is my table.
• Handling courier men - To be fair to these courier men, 70% of them are really looking for me. Being in loyalty marketing, we actually kill a lot of trees because we print a lot of vouchers. These courier men are actually delievering these rubbish that have been redeemed, so usually my place looks like a rubbish dump until my colleague from the next building comes to collect them to count for payment.
• Sorting mails - As my table is the first table of the Marketing department, any mails address to the Marketing department actually lands on my table mysteriously or from a girl from the friendly Sales team. So being the nice person that I am, I would sort the mails which is like tons of it and pass it to my colleagues. Mysterious mails which only address to my department will be (1) Kept aside for further investigation. (2) Land up in the rubbish bin for unimportant mails or people who have left. (3) Sent to the CID because it might be a mail bomb.
• Handling women - As I am surrounded by enemies, sorry I mean women, being in a female dominated envirovment, handling them is really part of the job. Thus everyday is a PR exercise for me. Everyday I wear a mask and helmet to work. Everyday I hope the bombs near me don't explode.

Now you know what I do. No, not civil defence, its marketing stupid...