You know when you reach the age of 46, you start to wonder what you are doing with your life. You start to question your thinking, your actions, your ambitions and your life style etc. Your mind is full of questions but you do not have the answers.
No I am not 46 and I am starting to think like that at 26. Sounds like I got a mid-life crisis pretty early when I am hardly in the middle of my life. Sometimes I think and I wonder how I should I go about life. To take it easy or to take it seriously, what is the true meaning of life? I think if I continue to ponder and wonder, I will attend nirvana soon...
Sometimes I have this feeling of giving up everything and leave for the mountains, growing my own crops below the hills. Harvest the crops when the season comes (ok I don't exactly know which season). Hibernate when winter comes. (which means sleep and sleep and sleep). Eat when you are hungry, sleep when you are tired, play when you are bored. Isn't it wonderful...
Maybe I should be a philosopher, think out some quacky philosphy, spread my teachings and collect donations for being so wise and give lectures when the crowd comes to me... Or maybe an artist, sitting by the river, drawing anything beautiful that I come across including beautiful women and sell my paintings for whatever price it is worth... Or a bartender that mixed all these wonderful drinks, tossing and turning and doing all those stunts, give advice to drunk people and tell stories to whoever wants to listen...
Maybe I should just slack at home, be a loafer, go to coffee shop and hang out whole day there with a beer in hand or with a cup of coffee on the table. Maybe just lie on my bed the whole lazy afternoon and imagine what wonderful things could happen and it does not happen because I am not doing anything. Maybe its a wonderful feeling to just imagine, to just think and just let time pass... And maybe this is the best way... and maybe I am just tired......
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